No good for the getting better, only feel like I'm going to put you back into getting worse because I am nowhere close to being fine.

You reek like cigarettes
and your lungs are dry,
   you have no words
     you just stare,
  with your bold brown eyes

You pick and pull and bite
   your nails until the
     tips go dull
I'd tell you to quit but baby Im no troll

Since we last slept,
   your beds become home
     we lie there and talk,
talk, talk, talk

        here is where you lie and stare,
with your brown bold eyes

My sweetheart,
the one I love so dearly
the one who keeps me on my
toes and my head on straight
tried to leave again only
this time I wasn't there to witness,
to hold him and listen
and it breaks me,
makes me mental because I knew
he wanted to go
but he knew if he jumped I would
now all I could do
is sit here
smoke a cigarette and
pick flowers
while he's lying in a
hospital bed getting some
knowledge from someone
with a degree and
wait.

He spoke to me in words
told me to promise
to cross pinkies
to tell all his loved ones
that he loves them so,
and hes sorry
sorry to have to let go so easy
with an uneased mind

he held me
and he told me he loved me
told me to keep going on and
missing him will be temporary

we sat on the train tracks
waiting
waiting for the better end to come
together we wanted to leave
him and i
so we went.

From what I've learned of love,

never hold your breath
you'll end up dead.

Nine years,
It's time to put time behind and
find myself to happiness
because the American Dream isn't all
a dream
I found myself wanting to die
in the middle of it
got caught up making wrong decisions
and giving love and limbs
to a pack of wolves
who tore me in two
ripped me to shreds and walked on
maybe somewhere between
now and then
Ill find the one thing I lost

my sense in dreamin.