They feel a splinter of wood
I see a blood bath all over mee never good

Sunshine They see the rays of it
In pitch black darkness I tried for days to see one ray of it

Empitness is all i feel
It consumes all of me

Am i the bad in the good? Or the only good in the bad?
Well goodluck explaining this to my dad
Is that why he's always mad?

A reflection of him is seen when he stares at me ?
He's the reason why i've come to this so why blame me?

I'm his shadow monster
I compare myslef to a useless firey dumpster
He lits it with his words .

one scentance and it's gone
I've scenetnced my heart to be gone

Never to feel again the same pain that it draws
I try to color it
But all my colors are gone
All i am left with is black and white

The white is invisible
The black is what i show, it's not permissible

Im glad i try to go with the flow
But i relate to no one to be able to flow

They say uniqueness is good its bold
I tried to see it as if its true because that's what ive been told

-Not A Poet-Just Struggling

When will this end?
When will it become to an end ?
No warning  was given i even was dread
Can we go back
when darkness was non existent
When sunshine was all what presisted.

When will it end?
When will it become to an end?

Yrs spent on the lie that was said
Time heals i laughed till i was dread

Sprinting wishing i could catch time before it went .
Yet i didn't move

Venturing again and agian
And here in denial i began
like a quick sand it swallowed me
It took all of me
When will it end?
My heart took every single type of bent

When will it end?
was it all a lie
was it all pretened?

When will it end?
Will it ever even end?

-Not A Poet-Just Struggling

The girl with the ginger hair
I saw her in my dream
Like an angel from the heavens
Eyes green like the wild
and
Hair flowing in the wind

I hope she remembers me when i’m gone

The Girl With The Ginger Hair

Everyday
Is a reminder of why I wanted to end it all
Everyday
Is a reflection of what I've become

I guess it's normal to feel that way
Normal to feel tired
And helpless
And horrible

It's hard to talk about this
When I've tried once
And twice
And almost thrice

Faces of frowns
Faces of disgust
Faces of despair
Will stare back at me.

Call me selfish
Call me a disappointment
Say, "What about me?"

It's kinda funny
How people tell me not to **** myself
By using themselves as the reason
When all I need is for them to hear my reason

Well, I guess that's why
Why I want to end it all
Why I want to stop everything
Because that's probably the best

This sounds wordy
I should shut my mouth
And find reasons why
"Life is beautiful"

Not all rivers
end up in the ocean–
doesn't make their journey
less worthy.

Not all love
ends up in a lover's arms–
doesn't make it any less
worthy.

Wondering along the forest edge
Among the endless shadows
Of leaves shaking
I left the known trail into
A lower place
Stepping through dead brush
And tangled mounds of marigold
Red and copper patches,
Old witnesses stitched into a quilt
I found a stone chimney above a lost
Foundation like a worn grave stone.

The ruins called to me.
Pulled toward the lone marker
I sensed a change in the air
A cold sensation.
Without hesitation
I collected and broke branches
From nearby river birch
And built a fire.

I sat grounded in the heart
Of the Home.
Through the flicker and cracks
Of the flame, through the heated air
Breathing life into the flue
A voice from the house whispered.

The sorrows are gone.
I am what is left
A heart broken and alone.
This rooted foundation
Courting this ground
My home fell down
It’s rubble now
The earth reached up
And pulled it down.
The garden is gone.
I am what is left.

I watched the fire die
Out realizing loneliness is knowing
The spirits don’t have answers
They walk on ahead
In circles.

Kneeling at your headstone
Where nature stopped mourning
The grass has grown tall here and
Your silence strong.
I know you’re free from the body
And the sins of our fathers
Chiseled on dry bones
But my flesh begs for your return
I dreamed you are sleeping
A polarized bad dream
Where I have to let go
But  I’ll just wake you now
I’ll give you my breath
To breath in
To open your eyes
I’ll give you my all
For the chance to stand near you
And shed tears of forgiveness
But I don’t want you to fall.
You will always be safe here
Safe in this song
May you live In this poem
As the shadows grow long.