Tuesday night, my mother sits , her face buried in her screen
Blues playing on the radio at the neighbours house
My brother yells from across the bolder keeping us apart
My door opens , freshly presented with a new responsibility

Breathing , had so feverishly left ,
As the words echoed through the pen keeping me sane

My mother had brought me a request ,
A journey through the cracks of our house,
Whispering the imperfections of my efforts
My books sadly abandoning me in the abyss of my cluelessness
Pots ringing in the distance ,my mother notices my exhaustion
Considering her yearning for my duty
The door shuts pulling the last of my efforts at its tail
Victory! Shortly lived , as the voice blasts into the oblivion of my echo
“RUN ME A BATH OF COLD WATER"
“AND DONT FORGET TO BREATH"

I had fallen so undoubtedly inlove with the remnants of you . Kissed at the mere thoughts of you being mine once more . Tortured my own mind into crushing at your memory,and yet salvaging all that I could keep of you . You were gone , many had accepted it but why could I not ? Why was I tearing at my tounge hoping you would hear words I had never spoken to you . Telling you the complexities of my love for you . It was torture simply loving you , bathing my lungs in the smoke from yours . I had known I had loved you but I hated you even more . I had made a room of your beauty, painted it's wall with your sarcasm , lit up the room with your compliments, made a bed of your love , found comfort in your cigarettes, left the window slightly ajar to let you in . Forced myself into your oblivion and finally accepted your existence, withering in the pain of never loving you the same , I yearned , being starved of a fantasy , I made vines of my arms , spat grapes from my teeth , fermented my pride and made a wine for your famished tounge  to lick upon , I had made you drunk for my love , feverish for my touch , reluctant to your reality I had made you mine , but never was I yours , with you I had yearned to be more , to bathe in acceptance and yield off any doubts but you were a man feeding off my young  so it being burnt in my nature how could I trample your pride and lather you walls with rejection. You were a circumstance,a built in fantasy , a book of desires , the embodiment of everything and nothing at all . So word it to me , acknowledge my uneducated being and tell me tales , twist at my oblivion and tell who was I to say no,who was I to perish at your advances , and tell you that you were furthest from the love I seeked , that your touch was bruising to my skin , that I had fallen inlove with a compromise and not a companion. That I had sacrificed the feeling of freedom to be bound by the guilt of my reciprocation, that I was haunted by my lack of mercy to your withering heart , that I knew  to you I was the blood pumping at your heart but to me you were soon to be lover from the past . That I had been feeding off your naivety, that your reluctance to trust clenched at the skin of my lips and sealed a promise in my heart . The I had been crippled with boredom, and forced my being into yours for the pureness of my entertainment. Who was I to tell you ,  what was hidden between the crevices of my smile , who was I to show you the intent within my glistening eyes , who was I to save you from who I truely was ...