Bewitching hours in a dark and empty graveyard he was all alone. Really he was just sitting there on a random tombstone. Anything was better than staying in his broken  home. Ever since he left he had been completely on his own. Even though he wasn't quite half grown before he'd ever go back he would rather journey off  into the vast unknown. He knew for his own sins he would one day have to atone. Never brighter had that little light of his shone. It could be seen from the sky above and beyond.

Marijuana perfumes the air as it slow burns giving way to a cloud of smoke, with every deep breath he would take he would ******* choke.  His life was  sick and twisted. It was a ******* joke. Haunted by the demons he did unknowingly provoke just because he ******* misspoke when heroes he would envision monster he did invoke. Smoke a joint Rock a bow, l  postpone the pain, do a huge line of *******, he tried to stop himself from being crazy going sane. His attempt to save himself died in vain

Feeling as if he was being crushed beneath the sense of pending doom. He felt as if he was suffocating in his hotel room. Only slivers
Of tainted moonlight slightly cut through his gloom. Dissolving solvents fume. Desperation hanging thick in the air like a new perfume.  For days his activities he did resume.  He would soon  be animated like ****  cartoon, higher than a **** balloon. Bathed in the simple eclipse of a neon moon, he was stark raving mad laughing like a loon. He addiction was in full bloom.

He just didn't want to feel ****  anymore, no pain and no sorrow. Life on earth he knew time he did barrow. Will he still be living like this for his every tomorrow?  As a rabbit would in the ground he did burrow. His misery was penetrating his soul quite thorough.  He hid himself away in a self made inferno. What he ensures everyday no-one seemed to know. Colder and more corrupt he would grow, his light now barely would even show. He traveled to the darkest places, places even angels wouldn't dare go. Down he was feeling mighty low. Like he had been pulled under when he got caught in the undertow. Suffering he **** sure did undergo

Nowhere to go he was starting to flicker faster and faster he was a burning out flame his world was nothing but chaos and disaster.  Of his ship he  wasn't captain, of his fate he was no master. As failing to find what he constantly sought after. He wanted this to be his last chapter. He was tired of living like he was an actor.  As if he didn't hear in his head scattered laughter. He told himself there was nothing left that would truly matter. Voices in his head chatter. He was going mad like the hadder. Over and over again he did completely shatter. He was nothing more than a soul left in a tatter
The few thoughts he had he attempted to gather, he  had already begun to stagger. Too ****** up to pull off the whole cloak and dagger. Away he his in shadows just as he would rather.

Faded completely to black, he most likely isn't  ever coming back. Him staying in his head had too big of an impact. He was a vessel broken with a shell so cracked. Had against him all the odds really been stacked. No one could say for a fact. Unscathed he didn't make out, **** sure not with integrity intact. From all angles  he felt he was being attached. A **** magnet the calamity he did always attract. He was feeling trapped. He did the best he could  but never could he seem to adept. He was fading.... Just like that.

For the evening I was just about to get ready so I could retire.
I had no idea that situations were escalating until they were dire.
The words that I write  to me they do not quite inspire
As I find myself climbing high just to get myself higher
Until I halt and catch ******* fire, get tangled up in  barbed wire
This chaos that constantly seems to ******* transpire
No wonder this self medication I tell myself I require
Sweet ******* release pretty much my only desire
The voice inside of my mind is nothing but a liar.
I am a ******* wire live live ******* wire that is watching the fire
As the demons lurk in the shadows and nefarious monster conspire
I am spinning just spinning like a ******* spin dryer
I have gotten myself into such a fantastic quagmire
That if  I were to take my aim I would probably misfire
A catastrophe and calamity ******* chaotic supplier
Of time and space I am simply a waste an occupier
Questioning minds they do so often seem to inquire
About all the pain and suffering I did somehow easily acquire
Flames such as these a pyro such as myself cannot help but admire
As up in smoke goes my world, so complete it engulfs entire.
In the darkest hours before I am thought to finally expire
I only long to hear the breath taking harmony of the angels choir

Not so much weighing on my mind but all of it heavy on my heart. My words barely Audible for my throat's so parched
Yet right through the Flames of my own Hell I slowly marched
As random on lookers just quietly to themselves they remarked
Some intentionally trying to stage a great *******  upstart
As lonely on this journey I myself am about to embark
Hidden away the the blackness of this soul ******* dark
Feeling as if at the very seems I am coming completely apart.
Heading towards the brightest parts of Hell in a hand cart
A beautifully broken disaster yet still a ******* work of art
Trying ultimate my night with fingertips that just don't spark
In general really at least for the ******* most part
Not feeling in the least bit confident, or even ******* smart
My own **** Demise I am feeling as if I did somehow jump start
I hope that joint you are not planning  to just ******* bogart
Please if you loved me at all get me ****** before I depart

A journey of such drastic ******* measures
Has me digging up all my cherished treasures
As hard pressing the very pressures
Put on me by the grievous endeavors
Leaving only those I consider my aggressors
To wallow in their own **** self pleasures
I am here attempting to burn out my own receptors
Truly it is a rather one of  those remarkable kind of gestures
As to Ashes I reduce all these unnecessarily kept records
I need no scythe to frighten off all these Spectors
Shaded by all these unseen ******* reflectors
So before I end property of some ******* collector
I'll seem out my very own salvation my own protector
That is in an entirely different world another sector,
Pretending all the while to be the courts best jester
Someone who let's the sorrows ******* fester.
Yet will never admit that they are indeed the lesser
A self doubling complete second guessed
That has been smashed underneath every stressor.
Now blowing in the breeze light as a feather
I am gone not just for now but for *******, ever.

On my shoulder the entire weight of the world I attempt to heft. From future events this trauma has created a theft just know that even with my very last breath I couldn't get any further left. So far left I may never get right. My eyes are quiet gifted in their sight I need a little light just to illuminate the night. The flames in my hell dwindled down and now they don't burn as bright.
Looking for some kind of solace perhaps salvation a world shaking transformation not a simulation but a completely new creation. I may need some confirmation. Indeed I need more information. My patience is short supplied awake sitting on my bed entirely wide eyed everything almost dead inside. Where good and evil were never meant to coincide no one left in which I care to confide my all too frequent thoughts of siuicide. I pray God let's all these transgressions slide die or ride ride the pride right on through to the other side. I am so ready to go back but not to what it was, I can do this much for my cuz just because.
Not like it was before now with myself I'm not so much waging war. I got used to guts glory and gore. More than that I fear losing sight of what I'm fighting for. Cracks in my moral code buried deep inside my very core.  God opens a window when he slams a door. To the heavens above I implore. I know I can handle whatever date destiny has in store. With every word myself  my soul I outpour. I'm not even sure what to do anymore
The personality I display is not the person I am trying to portray but the person the beasts I conjure continuously betray. Life ful of so much discord and everything is in such disarray cover the stench of decay with deaths bouquet. While like a burning out flame I flicker like I will soon fade away it's all so **** cliche cannot seem to forever hold these demons at bay always it does not matter what I say it is just the same old **** on a different day. No one last listens to me anyway. To prevail I'll have to somehow find another way. Until then I will just breathe and pray. Fatal feelings emotions raw and bare auditory hallucinations wondering if anyone here right now is even really there. There is not another hell that could ever  seem to compare. Spill my secrets I will not dare awake still haunted by my latest nightmares but who the **** cares. might ought to beware when my temper begins to flare I am all about the opportunity and the air. The dead do not seemingly just stare. The hurt is something I don't care to share as I sink into the depths of my very despair. Apparently I am losing bits of myself everywhere.
Near tainted moonlight does not shine into the room there's nothing cutting though this gloom crushed under the weight of the pending doom. Sealing the room like a concrete tomb. Prior activities I assume are safe to resume. Sweat and *** hang thick in the air like a new perfume. Colorful like a peacock's plume don't inhale the solvents toxic fumes the end may be coming all too soon  silvered underneath the eclipse of a neon moon all red assed like a **** baboon acting like some dumb ******* Buffon higher than a **** balloon all drawn out animated like a **** cartoon. It's is all surreal. I can't describe what I even feel spinning around til I start feeling ill the wounds I forever carry never seem to heal. What's the ******* deal If you ask me the whole ordeal is losing it's appeal so please Someone remind me what is even ******* real. the true me I must conceal.
Three parts already dead twisted thoughts run rampant inside of my head. Addiction thoughout my family this disease is widespread. Decency I probably don't have a single shred.
I may continue to stick with just what I know. Rocking this **** bowl. Slowly again losing control. Impossible to console the colder I get the older I grow. Vast hole in my dark desolate soul places I often travel to even angels fear to go shadows pull at me from somewhere down below. I'm more concerned with finding my blow so incomplete how could I ever feel whole.
These drugs that I abuse this ****** up way of life I chose. It's all just an excuse a crutch I use. I once had completely  different views but now it's all usually just more bad news memories I confuse I am better off wheny demons turn me loose.
So much that I have lost will one day be found. Nothing and no one can continue to hold me down I'm going to turn it all around. Come back up from the very ground. No more white noise for me to drown blaring in stereo surround sound. To the ties that bind by blood I am bound. Ambitions guarded by this nefarious hellhound. Myself I still somehow astound thought rather profound.
I am not Silver I'm Tarnished her evil ******* twin another washed  up has been stuck inside the costume I wore way back when. Headed right around the bend being serenaded by the wind. Notify my next of kin that I am heading for the ****** bin for attempt to slay the beast with just a bobby pin. Uncomfortable in my own skin sitting here in a world of make believe and pretend.

I refuse to wade in a shallow pool of past regret while our shadows give chase to our silhouette. I never wish to forget how I have always pictured ourselves riding off into the sunset bullet in the pistol Russian roulette I will not let myself  get completely upset over something that hasn't even happened yet. Smoking the days last cigarette. To trails and tribulations myself  I subject perfectly imperfect versions of my former self I still protect on painful memories try as I might not to project. Collecting every single but if my self respect. Flawed I have a detectable defect. I can't seem to self reflect. Important moments intercept. I have tried to study this aspect in great depth. A loser with a lesson that should be taught notions that can't seem to be forgot.   Forgive me please I'm been thorough a lot space cadet to astronaut. I've been distraught. Over this entire onslaught. To me to **** up is to **** around and get caught. Lost deep in thought. Twisted and contorted inside of my head are the confusing feelings of dread like I am already walking  around like I am three parts dead. Red I have bled decency I feel I have not a shred this ****  disease of addiction is completely widespread awake I lay staring at the ceiling from my bed we've all been somehow misled he situations badly misread. With God's I have pled to help me turn all this dope back into Sudafed.Unchecked I've been unable to regulate all this anxiety I demonstrate. I try to help educate people about my tucked up mental state aggravate agitate abbreviate duck a bunch of hurry up just to wait I hardly ever hesitate to deactivate incriminate exacerbate inebriate tripping over issues that just don't relate isn't the throws of addiction just ******* great. My own problems I admit alone I create especially when it's harder to concentrate without going to to seemingly complicate life with the darkness I contemplate. Memories I desecrate. Alienate no hope of this pain to alleviate a **** up I am indeed to this very dare self medicate our myself half a as on sedate so these murders I will not premeditate. Self eradicate probably works better than trying to self exonerate
Characters they did assassinate.
A perfect imperfection that is being torn in More than one direction underneath my protection can't even recognize my own reflection. I will leave it to the storytellers discretion to pick out the matters more hard pressing issues that desperately need addressing investing infesting interesting depressing of all the emotions that need suppressing to be giving it all I am capable of possessing. Confessing the truth is congestion hard for digesting **** calling in just here texting its all quite perplexing.

Here I sit getting ****** taking every hit straight to the dome feeling alone right here in the house I sometimes wish was more of a home.we all go off and do things on our own lost inside the zone higher than a drone. Feelings I wish to numb still smoking until I am dumb never getting nothing done because I am always spun would I really die tired if from myself attempt to run. I think I am almost ******* done the amount of drugs I desire is none. I want things to go back to the way we're before this ever ******* begun.
I confess that I am indeed a mess I sometimes suppress the things in which I don't not wish to obsess under a lot of duress still there are issues I probably should address I love now as l used to hate with all I possess it's all a ******* process I'm in distress the truth I congest is hard to digest mess with the best might as well die like the rest
In my chest my heart beating sporadic because still I suffer as an addict thoughts turning erratic the facts ******* fantastic I for years was still so enthusiastic enchanted by the magic that turned into a fanatic head full of static all so tragic dramatic was so **** drastic completely automatic
My addiction isn't at all fiction it's in fact the friction that burns to the affliction chaos and catastrophe due for a collusion I long for a different vision under new conditions a brand new mission stand against those that try to beat me into submission praying for a new family tradition a life shaking transition no more stupid superstations we all have our suspicions My advice is when temptation entices us with our favored vices is power down all devices think about the unpaid prices the sacrifices the **** never suffices
Chasing smoke clouds and spirits though I don't know why constantly seeking that first high life based an a fantastic lie. Epically I did fail no matter how hard I did try. No iron clad alibi no tears fall from my eye I've lost the ability to even cry not many left on which I can rely on the emotions they amplify whiskey washing down the rye it perhaps a good day to die is it hello again or good bye

So far the pen mightier than a stainless steel sharpened blade I'm shaking but unafraid I may not make it out of this integrity intact unscathed instead of being good at it I'll settle just to behave soul I cannot save chilling on my own ******* grave fine line between being stupid and being brave. I can't lose it all with the all that I gave.

All the **** I spout I can't help it sometimes it just comes out.
The explicit lyrics lines and rhymes come from the recess of a disturbed mind. One no doubt demented  permanently. I mean all the time I am perverse just as I am twisted tangled my bare emotions were raw they've been ******* mangled my reach had been kind of angled short of ******* breath I feel like I've been strangled come on now why the ******* trying to judge me like you are one without baby without
any sin. You have no idea what kind of person I am within. One that's always been uncomfortable in her own skin. You don't know where I've been, the places I've visited to from time to time to  time again
This is where it did  all ******* begin To ******* paper I put this
Pen. Outpouring the very depths of my emotions  I am here just going through the motions white hot  flames from  my hell give way to an explosion.  I wish there was at  least one thing to break me wide open.  I promise it wasn't on impulse I didn't even try to think it through. Clearly  reading intent even in text  messages is something I've just become used to. I really dislike all the guys that end up walking around like they're brand new. If you give me a few minutes maybe I can  change your point of view. You seem to think I need help, well of course you do, you seem to think there's something special about you.  If you're expecting Mercy I haven't had a shred. For  awhile ive been walking around like Im already 3 parts dead off of this yellow brick road I began to wander towards the wild blue younder. Absence makes the heart that much fonder. Deep thoughts heavily I ponder.
You and I are not quite the same you are sane going crazy while I crazy going sane. We both have different ways of  processing pain right down to the kind of thoughts we entertain
We don't  even know the same kind  songs we have difference's in rights and wrongs.  We are just as different as day and night. You're as sober as a judge I'm higher than a kite.
We have different fears different things that bring us  joy. We even have  different techniques we tend to employ.  I would rather save you would rather destroy. There's no doubt a difference in the lives we've lived and probably in how we'll eventually die. We do not have to  see eye to eye  to be friends we don't have to the same. So if you want I am down if you're game

I accidently breathed life into the beast that has always seemed to reside deep down inside.
Where my patience is already short supplied.
My sorrow can't ever truly be denied.
Eyes filled with tears that I haven't yet cried.
Where am I going to next I cannot decide.
I may just go ahead and ride the pride,
breaking through to the  other fuclimg side so my cousin I can see.
Him and the rest of my deceased family.
I stand among the debris.
myself I am trying to run from me.
Tomorrow coming holds no gaurettee.
The  only thing that I could ever hope to be is just pain old me.
LOnging to be ******* free
This sinister darkness is ******* foreboding.
feel like I should be exploding.
I am already over loading,
******* hardcoding til I went off roading.
was smoking just floating.
To me this is ******* coping
that is until I start choking.
I am just hoping
the demons I am not provoking.
Surely I am not invoking.
I don't say that lightly for I am not joking.
Promoting their possession of my damaged soul
I travel on to the places even my angels fear to go
I have a feeling that I belong way down way down below.
I'll admit that loud is my rock and  roll I constantly rock this bowl.
so apparently I am no where near being in control.
Im so broken I cannot be whole.
I have been impossible to console.
Then while praying out loud I heard it echo.
Why is I am here in this hellhole.
Armed only with a couple  bullets and  Daddy's pistole.
So don't you be an *******.
Into **** near everything I pour heart and soul.
I jump down another rabbit hole trying to catch that troll.
The horizon is already all aglow.
Did you not ******* know that end up that much more corrupt, I am cold.
This is a demented and perverse Fairytale that has already been told.
Matter of fact it getting rather old.
No questions were asked and there were no lies sold.
Like laundry I know right when to fold.
My ride or die has already died as he rode.
Cracks in my moral code. Life on this dirt road.
You don't have to tell me I know that I am throwed.
I always I end up sitting alone in **** dark,
trying to create a ******* Spark.
So I can watch myself as I stab myself with Jagged pieces of your broken heart. I am waiting on this journey that on which I'll soon embark.
I think It was somone in the hierarch
that to no one else could make an off/ handed remark.
There wasn't one person he didn't appear to outsmart.
It was pretty much his trademark.
My granny is our matriarch.
A Monarc from the trailer park.
Laughing like a loon I have gone mad as in raving stark.
I will not miss my mark,
From generation to generation this knowledge the elders did impart.
Keeping us prayed up on our way back up right from the start.
Feelings serverd now alicart.
I thought I was in prime position to fall apart
Losing myself in the nefarious dark.
My path needs illiumanating someone please light up my dark steps
help me not to be stressed.
I don't need to be obcessed.
MY true self I have surpressed.
I *******  confess
I am nothing but a hot mess
These crazy thoughts infest  
as the truth's hard to digest.
Burning down in the protest
The matriech I was meant to protect.
Now it's save your own *** that 100% in effect.
Spirits from the past I attempt to ressurect
So with the ones I sincerely missed I can soon connect
I wish I could do it imn a manner that was more direct
I don't know it was I did ******* expect
I only brought them back with  much love and respect
Even though my secrets are being safely kept
Still in a few days I haven't yet slept
I am more than a little wrecked
Emotionally broken in every aspect
on my traumatic past I reflect
I am in fact the suspect
on a rather touchy ******* subject
I am feeling pretty **** inept
I think maybe I need God to intercept
Outside my mind I have stepped
This is something I can accept
Over this unbearable pain I have wept
These memories from the past I try to eject
off into space I blast like a space cadet
perfect I **** up, I am a **** up perfect
I am sure I am one that won't be easy to forget
At making things worse I am indeed quite deft
The weight of the world on my shoulders I try to heft
What to expect from someone who's went this far left
The pain in my brain has been etched
The situations far to complex
The sorrow a ******* side effect
Wading in the pool of past regret
looking back in retrospect
smoking the day's last cigarette
while my thoughts I try to recollect