If you ever stopped
DRINKING

Long enough you could start
THINKING

Even if it was just for a few
MINUTES

Imagine the difference in our
RELATIONSHIP

But no, that’s to much to
ASK

You’re just a self-centered
*******

And can’t think about anyone
ELSE

Well I refuse to accept this
BEHAVIOR

I’m done being your punching
BAG

Mentally, emotionally and
SOCIALLY

Maybe for once you will
SEE

How your drinking is way out of
CONTROL

But either way, it doesn’t matter
ANYMORE

Because I’m breaking up with
YOU

Never will I ever allow someone
TO

Control me the way that you
HAVE

Never will I take the backseat
AGAIN

To a drug from someone I
LOVE

Never
AGAIN

Nightmares scare you 
but do they men
that sleep during the day 
working third shifts 
might just be 
the real nightmare 
Knowing your loved ones
are at home asleep 
by themselves 
thats no way to live 
to give or take 
the darkest hours 
from the ones 
that deserve 
your piece of mind 
for protection 
But what do i know 
i spent nights asleep 
in the backseat 
of cars 
traveling backroads 
as a kid 
with strange men 
who partied with 
my mom 
Truckstops
hotels
motels 
holiday inn 
blankets from a single bed 
make great cots 
for little kids 
more like tents 
did i pretend 
to stay hid 
from the evil sin 
If only it couldve been 
imagined at night 
when in deep sleep 
but these arent 
nightmares 
but rather 
childhood memories 
I stare in the eyes 
having to accept 
when i look my eyes
in my face 
My least favorite 
REFLECTION 
I HAVE EVER RELIVED 
I ******* hate 
the devils comfort 
I rather freeze 
to death 
than be warm 
from his flames

Words   u                         E
O       o   n
N       l    f
T       v    o
..........everything
................t
...............u
...............n
............­...a            B
.............otherwIse
...............e      o ­ o
.............. lost  u
..............y        l
........................d
......­..................n'
.........................t

Words WONT
solve everything
unfortunately
otherwise I
wouldn't Be
so lost ........................

Before her my cup was half empty

While together our cup became totally full , from her half full cup added to my half empty cup , creating one

After her, our cup became hers and I left with an empty cup and a **** ton of OPTIMISM

Couch surfing
A gypsy soul
where he goes
nobody knows
no rhyme or reason
to where he shows
sometimes uphill
other times with the flow
as he rolls downhill
with the wind or against
the seasons don’t seem
to have any effect
I’ve asked him before
what leads him
through certain doors
he just laughs and always
replies back:
“I really don’t know”
possibly his heart
a broken compass
as he allows
his various emotions
to lead the way
Or maybe his mind
like a gps device
that never quite
determines the next
location until his gut
signals this feels okay
he never makes plans
ahead of time nor will he
make long term commitments
Unless here in the now
as in right now
this very second or minute
and please be careful
because one hesitation
or a blink of an eye
and you might be disappointed
or surprised .... ****!
HE’S GONE
without a trace , no goodbye
don’t take it personal
it’s just how he lives
his life, a true traveler
this one , he’s been all over
some think he’s on the run
but he’s no criminal
he’s never hurt a fly
since one day he’s never
quite been the same
since an old flame
led him to a heartbreak
and ever since
he’s just afraid
to stay put in the same place
but who really knows
well I do
the answer is
only he does
but never will he
or atleast not now
talk about
or tell the tall tale
of the Why ?
So it’s easy to just assume
he’s a gypsy soul
floating amidst
a world unknown
trying to figure life out
Trying to find himself
afraid of hurt
afraid of pain
a victim to
a really bad heartbreak
always a town ahead
of love to come
afraid to stop
or it might catch-up
and then what ?
he’s forced to face
another chance
at life’s fate
At others hands
No thanks
not him
he’s gone
anyways
****
destination
unknown

Compare contrast
friendships
are meant to last
not gauge

Time for time
invested
to each our own
concept

What it means
to me versus
what it does to you
different

It wieghs on my soul
it wieghs on my heart
from the begining
from the start

But who am i to judge
who am i to care
about anyone else
more than myself

Without self-love
without self-respect
we cannot elect
to love anyone else

Call it selfish
label it facetious
but its the truth
but its the reality

Poetry is easy
at least for me
This beautiful mind
HA HA that made me
LAUGH
More like
twisted
demented
narcassistic
and
****** up
Has brilliant ideas
no nonsense
But when the dust settles
and the fans fade away
my problems will still
REMAIN
Beauty from Pain
Poetry from insecurities
art from disabilities
sky bound from gravity
OUT OF THIS WORLD
POETRY

Time tells all tales 
What once was thought 
What once was heard 
May not always be the truth 
Time tells all tales 
Time releases the truth 
What once was thought 
What once was heard 
May not be easy to think about
May not always be easy to hear
Time tells all tales 
Time heals all wounds

Seconds passed unnoticed
minutes seemed like hours

Hours were longer than days
days never seemed to amaze

Nights always feared most
weeks combined flew by

Months were very slow years
& the years were forever gone

This pretty much sums up
my confused childhood

Gray skies filled with clouds
unfamiliar hidden sunshine

Hungry for unacquainted love
starving for good attention  

But all these conclusions
weren't known back then

Nor were they made quick
however Im glad for them

True signs through life
that finally I've become a man

Time tells all tales needed
but time never gaurantees

Time invested in yourself
may determine being free

Time we cannot get back
nor can we ever create more

But that doesn't mean for one second we can't invest it

To fix times we weren't ourselves in an effort to grow

"TO BECOME WITH TIME, WHO IT IS, WE TRULY DESIRE TO BE"

"TIME ISN'T JUST A MEASUREMENT BUT ALSO A LOST LOVE"

My heart an ammo box
ammunition from past baggage
My environment filled with
walking talking triggers
It’s not just me calling the shots
so please pay attention
My mind is lacking proper armor
so no more target practice
My heart is tired of firing shots
murdering all innocence
I’m tired of becoming the victim
when I’m trying to be strong
So always keep a small circle
of only those who care

Lost and found
Missing
Lost and found
Reacquainted
Lost and found
Gone
Lost and found
Forever
Lost and found
Never
Lost and found
Saved
LOST

Boring, bland
everything planned
where’s the excitement
suspense has been
kidnapped, gone
that’s no way
to spend a life
find comfort
in the unknown
the excitement of
an undetermined variable
some might think
that notion is crazy
to move forward
with undetermined motion
but to me, it makes sense
those same people
preach faith
to believe in something
you can’t see
to each their own
not every house is a home
not every home
is a place stuck
In concrete, forced to stay
in the same place
face the facts
face the music
If the tune of the beat
you can’t move with
then you probably
need a new bucket
to carry your feats in
feast in, happiness
knowing your living
for something
YOU BELIEVE IN
regardless the criticism
of others they don’t wear
your shoes or travel
your path
they aren’t stuck
with the aftermath
the tears, fears, years
or happiness
lust, love, pain and heartbreak
so who are they to
JUDGE

Poetry has no rules
so if you feel
in life you
just don’t fit in
well hop aboard
and join on in
because you’re
always welcome
Poetry has no rules
so therefore
you can be yourself
without any discomfort
there’s no need
to apologize or say sorry
for being who you are
please just be yourself
Poetry has no rules
sure some may like
to rhyme when they write
while others
just go with the flow
some pour their heart
and gut out, while others
write about nature
Poetry has no rules
so just remember this
when you’re on this site
all we ask, is you be yourself
and we will do our best
to support you and shine light
in your life through words of
ENCOURAGEMENT
Poetry has no rules
so please just
express yourself
share your thoughts
not just for yourself
but so together we all can
GROW

Brain in overdrive 
producing mighty thoughts 
releasing ideas 
transfering out my windpipe 
pushing out from my mouth 
HEAVY WORDS 
with much truth 
in the message 
they spread unbiasly
for all to hear and see 
THE BITTER TRUTH
coming out in the 
rawest form 
subject to 
hurt your feelings 
but not on purpose 
these thoughts of mine 
have no alterior motive 
nor any self-benefit 
wether you agree or not 
the verdict is 
I MUST RELEASE 
all that i think 
so please decide 
for yourself 
what words to believe 
what words to grasp 
and hold on to
or which ones 
you should 
RELEASE 
and let go 
Storing the significant 
messages 
and point of views
that make sense 
using for self-growth
Ignoring the words 
that dont mean the most 
TO WHO?
You! not me 
these are my thoughts 
I created them 
from this fragile brain 
in an effort to grow 
I have decided 
to share them all 
not just for my benefit 
but for others 
WHO CAN RELATE 
and through trust
or relationships built 
we can grow together 
through......
SHARED COMMENTS 
Helping one another 
through relation of 
LIFE'S PROBLEMS 
believe it or not 
we arent the only ones 
going through 
THE SAME ****T
So let it out 
the good, bad and ugly 
I wont judge 
but rather try to help 
I wont pour gasoline 
on your fire 
but rather take comfort 
in the warmth of 
VULNERABILITY 
because its us 
who you decided 
TO TRUST 
with your 
FEELINGS

Walk through life if you want , I suggest you rUn ScArEd. 
THE CLOCK IS TICKING

Head
or
cage

Happy
or
rage

Love
or
plague

Good
or
bad

Content
or
mad

Chipper
or
sad

Ungrateful
or
glad

Feelings
floating
amidst

Internally
forming
fists

Battling
one
another

Defending
or
dictating

Helping
or
bothering

Hurting
or
comforting

Moving
or
stopping

Whispers
or
shouting

Tears
or
laughter

Feelings
dictating
decisions

Within
this
head

Within
this
cage

TRAPPED
STUCK
LOST

CONFUSED
MISUNDERSTOOD
ABUSED

Feelings
emotions
concealing

Thoughts
actions
RESULTS

FEELINGS
dictating
LIFE

MY
CAGED
HEAD

MY
CAGED
LIFE

FREE SPIRIT
never owned
Keep pretending
you got ahold
COLD, WARM
Feelings attached
I LOVE YOU
but
not enough
to ever
FEEL ATTACKED
so
back off
You do You
and
I’LL DO ME
scab

You see what you see 
I see what I see 
He sees what he sees 
They see what they see 
She sees what she sees 

Eye to eye we rarely see 
But our eyes see it all 
Why do we see the same things so differently?
Is it our minds fault?

You feel what you feel 
I feel what I feel 
He feels what he feels 
They feel what they feel 
She feels what she feels 

Heart to heart we rarely feel 
But our hearts feel it all 
Why do we feel the same things so differently?
Is it our minds fault? 

You think what you think 
I think what i think 
He thinks what he thinks 
They think what they think 
She thinks what she thinks 

Mind to mind we rarely think 
But our minds think it all 
Why do we think about the same things so differently?
Is it our eyes fault?
Is it our hearts fault?
Is it our minds fault?

I know I personally base thoughts off feelings but my eyes see what my mind believes so therefore:
Its my hearts fault for being on my sleeve.

HEART-ATTACK 

I know personally people that base feelings off thoughts and let their minds control all of their decisions regardless their eyes visions 

CRUISE CONTROL 

I know personally people that allow their eyes to give insight to how they feel before thinking and allow vision to control feelings leading to a drawn conclusion mentally

TARGET-LOCATED 

The combinations are endless and this is what causes the difference amongst our thoughts, feelings, visions 
AKA: MINDS, HEARTS & EYES 

DEFINE 

Who you are 
Who he is 
Who they are 
Who she is 
To better
UNDERSTAND
Where they are 
COMING FROM 

THOUGHTFUL 

We cannot seek 
UNDERSTANDING 
When we cannot 
UNDERSTAND 
OuRsElVeS fIrSt 

CONCLUSION

Scars on a body
like tally marks
on a chalkboard
More to come
before I'm done
these lines provide
COMFORT
Or so I thought
they come with
an expensive cost
Lost battles and
irreplaceable time
but I must keep
SCORE
Scars on a body
like tally marks
on a chalk board
More to come
before I'm done
these lines provide
REFLECTION

Because I’m not happy 
you never will be 

Because I have insecurities 
I will point out your flaws 

Because my past is frightening 
our future together will be too 

Because I was scared 
I will continue to scare you 

Because I deserved better 
you will always deserve better 

Because I’m the product 
you will never reach the solution 

Because I love you 
I will never let you go 

Because I told you this 
you have moved on 

Because you moved on 
I decided to get help 

Because I got help 
I have started to grow 

Because you loved me 
I felt the need to change 

Because it killed me to hurt you 
you know it did wholeheartedly 

Because we both knew 
I never did it intentionally 

Because I was a victim 
to some bad patterns 

Because you fought me 
I was able to break free 

Because you loved me 
you helped me to change

Eye dont care
eyes wont either
Wether one or two
They refuse to pay attention
Those images I just can't
AFFORD
LISTEN
Those words mean something
they accept their purpose
Wether one or two
ears both hear
Ear will hear

Im not a peasant
nor a present
just please
treat me with
RESPECT

Love’s pool keeps
CALLING
Tempting me to get
CLOSE
I refuse to give in
AGAIN
I’m so afraid, I’ll
FALL
My heart beats
HARD
At the
THOUGHT
My subconscious screams
NO
Before this last
HEARTBREAK
I was
FEARLESS
But now, I’m scared shitless
AFRAID
No more diving in
HEADFIRST
I wish I could
TRUST
But the result of lost
LOVE
Has left its
MARK
To my :
FUTURE
LOVE ,
I’M
SORRY,
I’m
DAMAGED-GOODS
unfortunately
Hopefully
YOU’LL
STILL
love
ME
4

WHO I AM
IF NOT
I WON’T
Give-in
To : LOVE’S CALL
To the
DEEP-END
Without first
YOUR PATIENCE
and ability to
UNDERSTAND

Every pore a sensor
every movement accounted for
Every word heard and dissected
every feeling selected
Every tone detected
every emotion elected
Every single aspect about you
accepted or misdirected
every attempt to remove me from this shell
Every attempt to save me from this hell
every smell picked up on
Ever since i was young
every detail was important
Every single situation
ever created I had to pay attention
Every single second, I had to live in the moment
SCARED

Wicked games 
normal names 
Are the ones 
that pull the strings 
Horror brings
wicked names 
abnormal games
Are the ones 
that pull the strings 
Nobody deserves 
nobody earns 
To be controlled 
at others hands 
Control brings
wicked things 
Abnormal games 
upon the ones 
Horror from 
the wicked ones 
That pull the strings 
to control normal ones 
To those that need 
to feel they succeed 
Pulling the strings 
that only wicked names 
Would attempt to In an
effort to control anyone
I have no place for you 
or your horror games 
Please leave me alone 
I will not be controlled:
BY ANYONE, NOT EVEN YOU 
THE WICKED ONE 
WITH YOUR NORMAL NAME
PLAYING YOUR HORROR GAME, PULLING STRINGS 
IM NOT YOUR PUPPET,
TO CONTROL

A world filled with nightmares
A heaven filled with dreams
If only not for gravity……..

A world filled with questions
A heaven filled with answers
If only not for gravity………

Is it you?
The one that is gone 
the one that lost life 
For you are no longer here
disappeared from this earth 
A true place of sin 
Hell on earth especially now 
Are you the victim?
for the inevitable took place 
You are no longer here 
you are heavily missed 
Are you the victim?
Or is it all of us ?
We are still here 
we still have life 
We havent disappeared 
from this sin filled earth 
We lost you and we are forced alone, without you 
Are we the victim ?
Or are we just being selfish?
We know you are in a better place , regardless ones faith, we know it cant be worse than here 
You no longer have pain, you no longer have fears, you no longer are living in a sin filled world 
Are you the victim ?
Or is it us ?
Can you still see me, wherever you are? If so can you believe me, when i say " when i lost you, i lost who i was" and if so, does it **** you, like the loss of you did my spirits and if so is my reaction causing you to be the victim from the sorrow you see in my eyes? 
Are you the victim? 
Or is it us, the ones that love you and hate that you're gone?

If I said it
IT MUST BE TRUE....
If I wrote it
IT MUST BE TRUE....
If I believe it
IT MUST BE TRUE....
WRONG
The only truth behind these statements is the:
”TRUE FEELINGS”
I felt that motivated and fueled the beliefs.
TRUE

My life’s demise
was in the disguise
of a love potion
but really a notion
in ALCOHOL
to allow me to
**** things up

My life’s entirety
relies solely on
my ability to face
my problems with
my SOBRIETY
no longer a victim
to numbing the pain

Words heard that meant so much

Words felt that meant the most to you

Words expressed to others in love

Words used with compassion to help

If only these were the only types of words

Words used as tools to help heal wounds

Unfortunately my relationship with words

Hasn’t always been a caring one

I know the importance of words powers

Words of weapons used against myself

Words of violence hurting my feelings

Words of others shaping my insecurities

Words of the jealous breaking me down

Words from birth to a graduated man

Creating a monster inside my head

Words learned and used in the same way

Causing my adult relationships pain

Words I cannot take back nor return

Words I cannot speak of but wish I could

Words describing who I want to become

Versus the words that currently reflect me

Words read to learn about desired change

Words wrote to help grow through poetry

Words are the answers to our problems

Words are our demise if used wrongly

Words are what we make them to be

So don’t blame words when we are to blame

So use them wisely with good intentions

That’s when words can benefit us the most

To provide support, to heal and help

To build others up when they are feeling down

To relate and conquer others loneliness

To share and prove this world has hope

Words our everlasting remedy afforded to all

Words a gift we all have been given

Words a true blessing we all can create

Words might be the difference you can make

Our love so lite
captive to the wind
where it’s gone now
only Mother Nature knows

Vanished within air
gone without a care
separated from us
alone we both are left

Maybe that’s why
I sincerely hate the wind
for it’s the reason
our love went adrift

She didn’t seem to mind
her eyes have no regret
as she lifted our guarded love
for all to see against the wind

She knew the threat
her eyes saw the tree branches
violently passing left to right
as the wind chimes screamed

She felt her hair being pulled
away from her head firmly
as it danced the same direction
with the powerful breeze

Was it on purpose? Was it to hurt me or maybe , just maybe she wanted us both to be free

From a love so lite that not even it could go up against a summer breeze without losing might

For she knew we both desired a love in strength capable of taking on the biggest of storms

Fight the demons
OR
Write the demons
OUT
Give up to
TEMPTATION
Or
GET-UP
Overcome
BOTTLE-UP
Feelings
OR
Pour them
OUT
Release through
POETRY
Hell on earth
HELL
In my mind
RELEASE
These demons
FREE
Write

Heart to brain
feelings travel
entering unmindful
and then converted into
Words
exiting mindfully
leaving your mind
Empty

That very moment after those words leave, is when you really think about what you said and however you feel then is your conscious speaking without feelings.

Open book
look
But don’t touch
read
what is my body
telling
you to do to
me

WRONG
try again, look closer
focus
otherwise you’ll mess this
up
I’m not playing games
fun
take this serious

Right
my body language
bad
because you are sick
disgusted
but I knew you had to
see
this for yourself

Gone
leave right now
don’t
come back ever
again
my body hates
you
as you can see

Bored you are
alone and afraid
Those demons
in your closet
Call your name
when absent from
DISTRACTIONS
So you act out
to avoid the pain
But I don’t take it
PERSONAL
As I can read
between the lines
Its their fault
not yours
As they are
the ones
That made you
who you are

Holoday 
caust me 
my sanity 
most recent 
memory 
of losing her 
as my soul 
got slaughtered 
spending 
a celebration 
all alone 
shes still gone 
yet i pretend 
that i can forget
that theres no hope 
for a quick second 
then I'm reminded 
She gave up her grip
and 
FOREVER LET GO

No vacancy amidst this heart and mind

The sign well lit for all to see that crosses my path

An aftermath to a blurred past mixed with undesired emotions

My soul a landlord to an apartment of bad tenants

Well not anymore as all the flaws have received notices

It’s time to GET OUT ! I’m done no longer willing to be the host

One by one, door by door, I’m meeting them all and personally saying goodbye

Some I have known longer than others, while some only a few years

It may take a while but I dream for the day they all get out
FINALLY

And then I can start fresh with a total makeover from within
REMODEL

Only then will I accept applications for good morals and values

That’ll be the day when I can feel good and be proud of myself

That day isn’t quite as far away as one may think as I keep
KICKING THEM OUT

And with each argument or self acknowledgement I feel a little more strong

Gaining the confidence to continue to carry on with this mission I’ve had for so long

There's a tear running down your cheek
but no fear in your eyes
As I peek
I realize the shine from your
beautiful smile
Coming from your warm face
of comfort
I too smile as it cheers me up
to know
There still exist tears of joy,
who knew ?

How many years
will we live in fear
of the unknown

How many generations
will still feel the same way
we do now

How many wars, pandemics, natural disasters, mass shootings, etc

How many? I ask myself.
Fear does keep the
economy going

I fear living in fear
an entire life more than
fear itself

BE FEARLESS

Its just another day 
the weatherman
is calling for SuNsHiNe
but Im still feeling 
teardrops of rain
its just another day 
the weatherman
is calling for clear skies 
but Im still feeling 
shades of gray
DEPRESSED
STRESSED
Sadness replaces 
happiness 
Emotions drown
blending together 
NUMB the background
Silence sounds 
all love is lost
the cost 
paid in FULL
time gone 
Never to be replaced 
faced with 
traces of 
past trauma
building up
to much to overcome 
Easier to just 
GIVE-UP 
Yeah the weatherman 
called this day wrong 
for people like
you and me

Purchased
used phone
upgrade
jail broke
good deal
but no
insurance
Fall call
phone cell
call dropped
concrete
cracked screen
works still
microscopic cuts
from screen
touch fingertips
hurts to
text message
voice text
speak to
speak through
phone mic
to prevent
touching screen
if only
You purchased
phone insurance
scam
maybe not
after all
especially
after fall
cell rings
answer carefully
please
to close
to ear
and it
hurts
hair gets
caught
in cracks
or it
cuts ear
from head
movement
from cell
phone
to touch
screen
to
fail phone
touch scream
all because
you literally
and physically
dropped your
call
on concrete
sidewalk
moral of
story
buy insurance
and save
money
fingertips
ear
hair
and prevent
from looking
crazy
speaking aloud
into a
cracked screen
or from
saying ouch
from the
pain

So I am who I am
but that’s not who I was

Before the transformation
mistakes were made prior

Well I feel I’m close to healed
but what should I expect next

I meet a girl, she’s into me
where do I start to explain me

Do I tell her the good, bad and ugly with hopes she will love me

Or do I not feel the need because it’s really not who I am

The truth will set you free
but the truth from before wasn’t me

So I’m confused a tad bit as I know I don’t want to mess this up

But I feel a full disclosure might expose myself for who I was and hurt

This life a constant battle amidst what’s right and wrong

I know I want to do what’s right and that’s not of concern

But what is right is what I ask myself truthfully when I think at night

For me to wear their sins that I already carried for a lifetime this far

Or is it okay to accept it and move on like a closed case you accepted the punishment from

I don’t know and that’s the real concern for me because moving on I want to be happy

My subconscious tells me it shouldn’t matter but on the contrary it said the same thing when it did

My heart says no matter what any true love will love you for who you are

But that’s not me and it’s not who I am, so I’m confused about what needs to be shared

Any feedback greatly appreciated as I know the collective thoughts of stronger minds might lead to a rational decision

You can’t lose something you never had but you may never gain what you scare away

So who is to say or decide what to expose or decide , what’s wrong or right , there’s no sun or moon in love to determine the day from night

My emotions all mixed and confused as the thoughts all erupt and leave me feeling empty from lust

Who really knows or thinks highly enough to share their opinion amongst my decisions to help guide a young pup

My love
Not like most
Just ask the waiter
Or the host
The bartender
My best friend
Because those
That seek me
Usually tip the most
Top shelf

I miss her
She misses me
When we’re together
we can be us
But that’ll never happen
and it’s not because
OF US
but rather
All the in-between
that refuses
To allow
OUR
stars to shine
TOGETHER
So we remain
amidst the same sky
DULL
amidst the same WHY?
hidden from our light
Amidst the same
LIFE
but separated
By the in-between

Deep thoughts
lead to deep decisions

Deep decisions
lead to deep thinking

Deep thinking
leads to deep thoughts

“Deep decisions,
scare the **** out of me!”

I’m deep thinking
aloud again…..

Crime commited
wrongfully convicted
Plead not guilty
but she didnt believe me
My defense insanity
it wasnt really me
She refused to hear it
and threw the book at me
Life sentence, my punishment
with no chance of parole
Mine as well have been
the death penalty
With that verdict
she literally killed me
Trapped within a cage
engulfed in total rage
My anger for my old self
forced the demons to escape
An appeal was formed
a new case was born
She no longer the judge
I no longer held a grudge
Acquitted on all accounts
uplifted from all the doubts
Through true loss of love
forced change was gained
Reflection of past situations
realization of mental triggers
Acceptance of all decisions
the good, bad and indifferent
Responsibility for self flaws
insecurities acquaintances
I didnt have to be perfect
no one expected me to be
From hostage to victim
from victim to broken
From broken to healed
for once I felt like me
FREE

I was free
for those first
nine months

I guess
they found
me guilty

I caused
her water
to break

After that
all Hell
broke loose

Delivered
Into a
Life Sentence

Scream, yell
tell a tall tale
the tallest ones
always tell
THEMSELVES
without speaking
one word

Hard wired 
DNA tired 
genetics invented 
man created life 
overcoming
sickness 
politics threatened 
rocking right to left'em
BEHIND 
time 
lightyears 
AHEAD 
of light 
Dark-ages 
pages 
written 
on human flesh 
with sacrificial blood 
lost ones 
forever gone 
RETURN 
back home 
before the 
INVENTIONS 
that started 
HELL ON
EARTH 
simple

Internal warfare 
MENTALLY 
EMOTIONALLY
External warfare 
PHYSICALLY 
MENTALLY 
EMOTIONALLY 
Im not in the Military 
but why does it feel 
we abide by the 
DONT ASK DONT TELL 
AS A WHOLE 
AS A COUNTRY 
AS A WORLD
Im tired of bleeding
Im sick of temporary fixes 
I want to :
PERMANENTLY CHANGE