My life has been a crockpot of mixed emotions all stewing together

Without any taste of the familiarity of each ingredient alone

The comfort of them all together creates a vibe felt forever

Before I found myself, within fake walls that weren't my home

"I KNEW NO BETTER, NO BETTER AT ALL, UNTIL NOW! "

Life conditions us
We condition life
What condition are you?
What condition is life?
Conditional statements
Conditional questions
Conditional answers
Conditionally speaking
that is........

Created to create

I'm feelin froggy
dropped the bad habit
left it standing
dine and dash
I don't owe you nothing
I spent many years
That only led to many fears
And it appears, I've had enough , I can't stand it , I never planned it , but 32 years taken from me , IM tired of being disappointed... I WANNA BE PROUD OF WHO I AM, no more allowing sickness , change couldn't be quick enough , I had to learn patience , it can't come overnight but the flaws to numb the cause can be instant, madness Abra cadaver it's not magic R.I.P you becoming the best you could be , I cannot flee me, I rather be lonely and working on becoming somebody than rely on continuing to be a narcissist feeding off bad energy from a relationship , who am I, I cannot blame others for my past pain, I must change who I am before I can provide happiness for myself, useless cause, IMPOSSIBLE but I must end this madness and this poem on a positive note, WE ALL HAVE GREATNESS , WE MUST JUST FIND IT , ITS WITHIN OUR PURPOSE , NOT ALWAYS ON THE SURFACE , KEEP FINDING TO GROW AND BE A LEADER TO HELP FIND IT FOR OTHERS, BE STRONG FOR ONE ANOTHER ! that's what's weighing heavy on my heart .

I'm going through a selfish stage
but this is my change

I don't mean to be rude
but I finally feel important

I know what I need to do
so I just need to focus

I apologize to those that
I have made feel unnoticed

It's not on purpose so
please don't take it personal

I'll overcome this phase
and be way stronger

I'll become someone better
and be way more supportive

I'm going through a selfish stage,
you deserve better

My ultimate goal is
to become that for you

I don't mean to be rude
but I finally feel worthy

One year my dear
and one month
since I last saw you
One year my dear
and three months
since we broke up
I still miss you
Four years my dear
and one month
of me messing up
with no improvement
I really let you down
However many years
and months my dear
It takes you to reconsider
I'll be waiting for you
and our lost love dear
until you're actually
really mine dear
I will always miss you