those lives i know,
do they know me back?
those people i befriended,
do they talk behind my back?
is my life the lie people tell me its not?
would people be sad if i moved?
would they notice if i disappeared?
can i waste any more time with questions that have no answer?
or am i really lost to the depths of my mind,
and if thats what happened,
do i even know me?

Afterlife Nothing,
this darkness is so boring,
memories flashing by at the speed of light,
seen them so many times they're scarred into my head,
when we die seeing an,
afterlife nothing,
afterlife nothing,
feeling so freakin lonely,
having to put up with everlasting defeat,
lost voice in the sea of silence,

Upon few gracefully treaded hilltops,
certain schoolboys on dreary rooftops roam,
looking upon a city filled with shops.
Searching through back alleyways for his home,
one stands alone in darkness tall and straight.
Wishing his dismal life was spent with others,
thinking how he rolled life's corrupted eight,
abandoned never seen his mother's
face, he taught himself everything he knows
sits in silence he never learned to cry.
the times that he tries to quietly doze,
he hears the shots and wakes, afraid to die.
smiles a mask for those around him to see
nobody sees us, our masks are our plea.

Leave all the troubles behind,
Go forward,
Bite through the rind,
Get to the fruit,
And remember that as life shows up with hardships,
Stay strong,
Because past the clouds is sunshine,
And don't forget those you've left behind,
And that even though I wish you were mine,
I'll be with you every step of the way,
Even just as your friend,
I won't leave you,
I'll be there to be your sunshine,
If that's what you need,
And even if you want the clouds to stay,
I'll show you the light,
I'll remind you of the love you already know,
I'll remember how you helped me,
And show an even greater love,
to help you see a better future.

Can't you see?
Can't you tell?
Even though I might be different you accepted me,
Even though I am awkward you took me in,
Do you really not see how much you mean to me?
What is love that it passes so fast?
Do you know how many times if held back?
Don't you know that I try not to say my feelings?
Because I am afraid,
I don't want to hurt you,
And in doing so I would hurt myself,
Because I feel this thing like love,
And I feel the need to protect,
Thank you.

The hidden clues are nigh,
The loose ends will tie,
If you search you will find them
Truth about me, the end
The past these pages displayed,
From the demons
To the times I was flayed
These lines will lead
Through my despair, greed, and failure
My life in these lines.

Its encroaching,
I see my shadow approaching,
Stalking through the day,
Waiting for night to strike,
Silent screams pierce the night,
Those taken by the dark waiting for help never coming,
They're in the dark,
Unseen by those who search,
Unheard by those who who listen,
The hopes crushed by the weight of the world,
For its resting on the shoulders of the weak,
And those who are strong should try to listen,
For the silent screams in the dark.

You love everything that hurts you
Expect humanity from something never human
The rose looks inviting
Oh such a sweet sound
The pain of finding it is not unbiting
The subtle cried left unheard
Form together
This soul left
Took flight as a bird
The gentle slice
How nice it is
Death calls us to rest
No god
No demon
Premonition is sleep
For sleep is a glimps of death
Peaceful and forever
This mind was not made for here
lost long ago to the voice of fear
Now it is silent
One voice gone
Unnoticed.
Unheard.
Unread.
Goodby.
World.

At the end of the tunnel, is there a light?
Was it worth it to start the fight?
The end looks full of gloom,
The flower left before bloom,
To see your bruises,
To know your pain,
I don't care what I would have gained.
I wanted to help,
There is nothing I wouldn't have given up.
The life I have to spare,
Finding someone like you is rare.
Can I help be your light?
Can I help you through the tunnel?

These feelings that I use against myself,
I try and try to keep them from you,
But now you're seeing the real part of me,
The part I kept locked away,
It's creeping back...
I'm going insane...
This anger I locked up,
It's ruining my life,
And the chances of you being my wife,
Gone with the wind...
Lost to the wild,
They'll call me wild child...
Because I will run with the wind.
I cannot be chained.
Because I will die.

How do I help others,
Cant help myself,
Why do I see angels
When I am the demon?
All my questions unanswered.
Alone
Who am I?
This demon
Son of demons, grandchild of angels,
How do I protect the ones I hurt?
Hurt the ones I protect?
Personality fluid, not set in stone
Am I nothing?
Yet I am everything?
I am not human,
I am human,
I am evil
I am good
Why?

If only the roses would stay the year,
the thorns would leave,
if only the sky could stay this shade of pink,
the clouds keep at bay,
if we could stay like this forever,
in our arms I feel safe,
if only these songs I want to write would turn themselves into hits,
all this and here I sit,
is my life just an if only,
something I made up in my mind
while my mental health declines?
if only my friends would think more of themselves,
then I wouldn't have to worry so much,
if only the sad songs I like would make me feel better,
and I could express how I feel
but all these if only's are just figments
of a broken imagination,
why am i drawn to hurt like a moth to a candle,
as I'm drawn closer not afraid to burst into flame,
if only it could end sooner,
if only I didn't have to worry,
but I cant stop now,
I have to help the ones I love
if only they could stop their hurts,
if only people could understand that we hurt
and just don't want the people we care about dig their own grave
if only I could stop writing these hard words,
if only I could write in one style,
that wasn't hard to read,
I'm sorry,
if only you could help.

If you were gone,
Who would I have?
If you were gone,
What would I have done?
Please don't go now,
Because you are the flower,
And I do not want to miss the bloom,
If you were gone,
Would you have left again?
If you were gone,
would I have continued to be the outcast?
Please don't leave,
I would miss you,
If you were gone.

Immortality.
the failures of humanity
to watch all love die,
his world crumbles
the end never nigh
demon rumbles
he watches in pain and joy
as dust flows with the breeze
the one immortal,
learning to play coy,
sitting by the seas
earth's last portal
through winters ice
and summers nice
he learns silence
trauma of the violence

The moments I least expect,
Playing CoD, laughing away,
Losing fast, getting rekt,
My mind begins to sway,
Friends in an old life, I swear I will come back to you.
Sleeping all day,
Wishing all night,
Staring at the sky starry
Nay, the northern light,
The small town is not for me.
But she and I,
We will be there someday,
Catching up after all this time,
Perhaps then everything will feel better,
Everything will be calm,
We would watch movies,
Stroll through the mall,
I miss them all,
The friends of a past life,
One that I look forward too again.

my friend,
you were there for me when i was at wits end,
im sorry i had to leave,
i hurt the ones i care about
my pet peeve
i never meant for you to be left out-
of my life,
ive been busy
getting through struggle and strife
the people here are really iffy,
didnt know what to do,
i would have left someone,
but who?
im sorry my friend,
i meant to be there for you

Thank you,
For making the quarry,
Giving me some glory,
For taking those stones,
That were in this place,
And turning them into the building blocks of my happiness,
I feel like I never say it enough,
Thank you
For taking the hardships and turning them good,
Now that you've taught me,
I can help others,
And succeed in my dreams.

Oh Katniss, will you let Peeta give you that kiss?
Its an experience that you may miss,
you shoot your bow, and follow the waters flow,
but will you really find what you need?
like the others who died to greed,
taking lives like gold,
is it getting old?
The capitol has you in their clutches,
Peeta can bring out the blushes,
Haymitch knows his secret, you told him to beat it,
this game of love and war is full of pain.
what do you have to gain?
your life of regret at the end?
that you left him as a friend?
maybe for the best,
for there are sequels, who knows what happens in the rest.

If i talked backwards,
Would you understand me better?
If i was opposite,
Would I be normal?
If I say something,
Does it get turned around?
Tell my what i have to do,
To get this right,
The backwash soothes me more than waves,
The retreat tastes sweeter than the battle,
Why am I the wrong way around?

You are perfect,
I see my reflection in your eyes,
And only there do I look sane,
Only there can I feel right,
But then you look away,
It shatters again and again,
What I wouldn't give to stare into your eyes forever,
The eyes that can do things to me nothing else can,
Neither the mirror or the reflection of my laptop screen,
Can make me seem quite as fine,
As when I am with you.

Yours are the eyes of the night sky,
the stars that sparkle and bring beauty into my world,
the smile you wear brings joy to my days,
the light you shine is what guides me the best.

I see the monsters,
the demons you battle,
even if I don't know everything,
I'll grab my sword,
And stand by your side,
I'll fight no matter what,
I'll use the only abilities i have,
to bring you up,
out of your dungeon,

This is the time of day,
When I look outside to see the frost that glistens,
And hope that you would listen,
When I say,
Good morning,
And I hope you have a wonderful day!

Who am I?
What does this world have in store for me?
Other than this battle I face between the two,
Both hold my heart, yet only one can I see,
And the other is like the sea, tossing, turning,
Both are hurting,
What can I do?
For the feeling are stronger for both of the two.

I am sorry that this wall must be,
This sea is full,
There are more people that care,
and this love we have, that we cannot share,
it will change,
might take time,
but love always does,
and that was why i was afraid,
Afraid to lose the love.

If I could see the wild,
I don't care how mild,
I would join,
The journey that you left on.

You forgot to take the necklace,
I made for your birthday,
And now i fear that the monsters might get you,
But if you wish to be left alone,
I know that you have your strength,
So just say the word and you know I'll be there,
Joining you in the wild,
And be your protector,
But if that's not what you need
Then I'll be a friend,
And I'll thank you for being my friend,
For being there when I needed it,
When everyone else pushed me away.

These are the words I say most,
The ones that take me on the journey of the impossible,
The life I leave is full of sadness,
But the one I enter is worse,
What if,
What if I was what you want me to be?
What if I could hold your hand but for a moment,
You don't notice,
You don't see,
So I escape,
Into my secret places,
The place that I hate most,
But also where I can be accepted,
My imagination betrays my emotions
What if's,
What if I was more than one person,
Even then I could not love everyone,
Though somehow,
I can as one.

What if I had died those years ago,
Before you knew me,
Would you have lived like normal?
Would I not have caused this conflict within you?
What if the people I care most about are only being hurt by me,
These are the what if's,
That I try to ignore,
But when they look my in the face,
When I try to talk ,
But no words escape,
When I see you hurting day after day,
Knowing that I am a part of it,
I can't help but wonder,
Are the if's just reality?

Watching the snowfall,
Dressed in a gown of white,
I catch the snowflakes on my tongue,
They disappear all day long,
I wish you would stay,
I miss you when you are gone,
The brightness of your days,
And the fun I have when it's this time,
Watching the snowtop hills grow,

Sometimes you can be harsh,
Times a few you have left me in a rush
Taking with you the good times we've had,
Headaches from the fall you let me take,

Kind and mild,
When i walk in the wild
You guide my mind,
You see me through the nights I spend alone,
This is winter,
Cold to the touch,
Warm to the heart.

I wish I had been there,
It just ain't fair,
I wanted to hear the beautiful thing,
Known as your laugh,

I've seen your smile,
Though I don't know how fake it was,
It was still as bright as the sun,
And I hope I live to see it again,

But what I really want,
Is for you to be happy,
Then I can hear your laugh,
And see you smile all the time,

Why can't I help you get rid of your sadness?
Why do you run?
Am I that monster that scares you away?
Don't think I haven't noticed that we are two sides of this coin,
I hate that I am this devil to your perfect angel,
But can this mold be broken?
If it can, it would be too late,
Because I see you hiding,
I see your running,
Is it from me?
Or the monster inside?
Am I helping?
Or am I making your sadness worse?
I need to know,
Because if the latter is so,
Then I will leave,
I will go