If I were to be something to someone...
What would I be?
If I were to be loved by someone...
What would they love about me?
And if I could feel emotion without being undone...

When confusions my only companion
And in my dreams I'm just slowly falling
And even despair hold me for ransom
My pain can sometimes be overbearing
I know its wrong to love inner darkness
But I'm designed to be here in the dark
On my crazy adventures I embark
I'm finding new things like Lewis and Clark
People standing here watching me aflame
A dark flame just turned to my own bonfire

Boy I'd give my life up for you
You wouldn't do the same
Boy I'd go through hell for you
No you wouldn't do the same
Boy I'd walk on fire for you
No you wouldn't do the same
So disappointed
In myself
In me you exploited
Got lost in ourselves
Boy I would do anything for you
But you wouldn't do the same

Looking over my shoulder
Who will come after me
Pain coming fast like a boulder
Tears falling like debris
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

A new chapter of love is what I need
Before I see you I adore you yeah I adore you
I hope your what I need
I'm afraid of what my heart will do
I wanna believe I'm somebody new
And try this a different way
And if I don't I know the price I'll pay
Yeah I am very broken
But before I see you I adore you, yeah I adore you
With you I feel as though I'm in heaven
Our hearts make us do crazy things
We all have good or bad endings
I need to be free from my past
Because I'm fading fast
I see your face every day
And yet I'm too afraid to say
That before I see you...
Before I see you I adore you yeah I adore you

Wanting to be anywhere but here
With eyes filled with fear
Trying to not cry
Trying to be invisible
What did you accomplish are you happy?
With your new "family"
You will always have a room in my mind
A room of hurt & pain, it's not kind
In God I trust, in him I find
In him I find my comfort and my time
I'm sad to say I wish I had never met you
But brother you hurt me over and over... I miss you
I miss what you used to be
Before you let anger overcome you, you can't even see
You can't even see all the people you've hurt

Their eyes were ablaze, the fall: bittersweet
What it felt like
To be in the dark place in the shadow of hell, it made me complete
To feel increasing pain and screams alike
Every morning I wake up in a daze
Falling into the regular faze
Can't get rid of the demons stare
Ripped my heart out, more than I can bear
Can't sleep at night
Afraid of Satan's bite
You can hear me scream, in my utter agony
Was born to be in darkness
Though no one can hear my plea
Falling into the never-ending abyss
Falling for all the devil's tricks
But my own torment is my bliss

With thine chalice and dagger
May the blood rite begin
From life line to fate line you cut across
To the pentacle, To Lucifer I gladly gave in
To prosperity and justice, the upside down cross
Renich Tasa Uberaca Biasa Icar Lucifer
Your power is great, words I am at loss
To Demons, Spirits, Deities, and the Dead I confer
Praise Lucifer! Praise Hecate!
From my beginning to my end
I follow thee, to you I tend

I know I'm running out of time
Yeah I believe in the craziest things
You say I'll never endure of what this world brings
But I still have some time...
I know I will find my wings
Though uncertainty and doubt cloud my sight
I still seek out the happiness, the light
Hola, me llamo Ava... Si
Yeah that's me...
I know love and hope can truly be
Puedo ser valiente
Yes I am even when hate and hurt is all you say
Bravery, hope, and love is what I pray
Dios cree que todos somos guapos
Beauty, love, bravery, hope, yes all of those!
Yes this is what I have chose
Podemos encontrar lo que buscamos
Yeah it may be far it may be close
Termino con Dios entrando en mi corazon

Broke me in a thousand parts
Don't know where it ends
Don't know where it starts
Guess it depends
On who broke it first
I'm the Queen of Hearts yeah the Queen of Hearts
Heart shattered in a thousand ways
Don't tell me Ima be ok
Still waiting for the first to break
What else will people take
Oh here we go again

If you had looked me in the eyes
Would you see the pain deep inside
I feel as though I live my life on the other side
I mean it's hard when all people say is lies
Yet when I wake up it's me
And it all comes crashing down you see
Used to feel as though no one could set me free
….Saying...
I've been pleading to be free for so long!
And is that really so wrong
Being free isn't something you can cater
So I said catch you later
But then you were gone forever
Thinking I could never
I was falling, falling into that deep abyss
Thinking there was you, someone to miss
Never got something special like a kiss
Can't find reality when I'm falling
Can't find you when I'm failing
Can't find you when I'm floating
Away Away Away

One day If I were to ever be a parent this is what I would say
Don't worry child
I won't let anyone hurt you
I will be here telling you that you're a masterpiece
To you I will protect to you I will be true
I will try to make the best future for you
If you think you are not enough & you think you need to change it all
There's nothing you have to be
God loves you and me
I'll be there when you fall
I'll be right there when you call

You say no I say yes
Should I do it should I not
My feelings are a big mess
It could be better why not
You say he's mean, I say he's misunderstood
He sits by himself, his hood up
But what goes on under the hood
We should all just be friends and not be stuck up

Demons of my past
They ripped out my heart
It happened slow but fast
I feel like I wanna rip everything apart
Guilt, feeling of worthlessness and helplessness
To hell with distress
I'm sinking in this mess
Designed to live in the dark
But what about that spark
The one I felt in the very corner of my heart
Demons of my past
I've won at last
But I feel like I wanna rip everything apart
Why be smart
When you can be reckless
I mean why start
To hell with distress

You were looking like an angel
But you really didn't care
I let my heart go, I wasn't careful
Now all I can give you is a cold stare
It is so hard because I have to pretend I don't care
Because I know you don't
I feel like this isn't fair
Yet I can't make you have feelings that won't be
I dream and dream and dream
of falling in love like a fairytale
But I know fairytales are for books
And that dreaming is for sleeping
Still every time I see you boy I feel like I'm dreaming
I can't say it's me not you
Because it is you
What hurts the most is I spent so much time on you
When you didn't care
And now I have to be true
True to myself and to you
I really liked you, and you didn't care

Just let me be me
Can't you just let this girl be
Thanks to those who don't care
About how different I am
You can hate me
You can give me an evil stare
A shout out to Vic
First impressions stick
I run run run
Sorta having fun

Tried to get you to notice all that time
Spent my whole life trying to be a ten
That ten's not worth a dime
Now all that's left is what could've been
Now I feel like nothing
Now I'm thinking
There's someone else
Do I move on to the next crush
He makes me blush
But there's nothing left
Running on an empty tank
We sank
Now do I move on
Don't know my next move, I feel blank

Don't leave me alone Don't leave me alone
I know that you are prone-
to leave and just abandon me
Even though you don't need me I need you
Oh can't you see
What to do
I hate you yeah I do
You say I don't know what's back
But your heart's twisted and black
Say you're afraid of the future
While I'm afraid of the past
Don't wanna be the last
Evil is your sad crutch
You say I don't know much
Not weak anymore, leave me here, go away
Thought I really needed you
Was a dumb kid, don't want you to stay

My help comes from you
Your pulling me through
Your my rescue
Your understanding is proof
Don't leave me here to-
Fall into my own darkness
Born into darkness
You are my light
Your are my light when I'm hopeless
When I don't have the strength to fight

Shattered glass on the FlOoR
Dragging me down the StAiRs
Trying to stop you, grabbing the DoOr
There were the sad wooden ChAiRs
_______
Even when they're all staring
And you can't stop comparing
Your life to others
Telling yourself there's something better
Writing like your running out of time
When your day-
is sour like a lime
Wishing your life away
Wishing your friends to just stay
Looking out the window seeing kids at play
_______
Can't get away right now
But certainly time will allow
For me to make my dreams come true
_______
Though feeling blue
My feelings definitely overdue
People passing by without a clue
Running to someone new
Them leaving as if on cue

I miss you far away friend
Unexpected words
Hoping my message will send
Friends forever and ever
May your new life be good and never end
Time together I treasure
Thank you
For everything you do
So glad I knew you
cops and the color blue
may it not come to juvie
Yes Adrian this is the first clue (:

I'm finally free
Yeah I said it out loud
He no longer haunts me
I'm finally out of the crowd
My future I'm starting to see
I have a chance, an opportunity
I am finally free
Thank you God for getting me through this
Thank you friends for helping me
Thank you Thank you Thank you
I love you all
I'm no longer a slave to my own self
I put my pain on the back of the shelf
Though I'm still learning to love myself
I know I'm getting there
Though a lot of my life was unfair
Now I can start
My life has just begun
This time I'm going to walk towards the sun

Feels like death
Feels like unrest
Feels great
Truly designed to live in the dark
To what dark adventure's shall I embark
Don't know my mental state
Might be too late
But whatever
I'll be fine whenever

Pain hates but it also strengthens
It's hard to leave my past at the door
Looking at the waves beyond the shores
Thinking of odd horrors
Good or Bad, Heroism or Evil
I hate that I am feeble
Fear can haunt you and pain can follow you
But pain can strengthen and fear can drive you

I love the voices
I love black and red
I hate the choices
That toss me till I'm dead
Fallen to the underworld
the one of my thoughts
What will unfold
I'm seeing spots
Hidden in the night
The sky that you look up to
Unreliable like the headless night
This headache is pounding
There's Hades bite

All the hate
Is this fate
Am I too late
Can't even navigate
Not in a good state
Just leave me be
Can't you see
Don't you agree
This ain't a cup of tea
All this hate...
Am I too late?

Oh hey there
Are you happy
Or just don't care
Do you like me
Or am I something
You just can't see
Oh anything
Would be fine
But could we
Find the line

You are right I don't know much
But in my heart there is love
For darkness, for Lucifer, and such
Others knowledge to mine, are above
But with the devil I keep in touch

I give and you take it isn't fair
Down for love and up for air
Show me, show me is what I declare

Don't let him blow your life away
Yes that is what I say
But when I saw him I hoped he would be mine anyways
Cuz when you near I feel like...
Yeah I feel like you keep me alive
We may not be at all alike
But you awakened something I thought was lost
The magic of love... But it could cost
It could cost my heart, time, and mind
But I'm still wishing to find
To find the line to find my heart
To find what's keeping us apart
I feel it, something very deep within
Something underneath the skin
Still learning more about you
Every day I see you more and more
Every day I see you, yeah I do

I don't wanna be jealous no I don't
But every time boy I see you with her....
I need to push this feeling down, but I won't
Though you don't know, I feel like she's in the way
I imagine her stopping you, telling you to stay
Why does everything that kills me keep me alive?
Jealousy hurts the soul
It hurts like sharp knives
I don't know many who survive
Her words are like honey to you
But I see her trap that will bury you alive
This hurts my heart and my mind
Yet I keep quiet in hope that you will find...
Why does everything that kills me keep me alive?
Why do I keep coming back to this like I'm blind?
I need to let this all go so I can strive
Because I have to survive

Listening to the wise
Yet taking all the chances
Hearing different lies
I say hello to everyone that passes

Watching a fallen star
As I drive by in my car
I can see his pain from afar
But he won't let me help him
Though his agony is filled to the brim
Just let me be there for you
Yeah that is what I shout
He doesn't have much only a few
It's like all the love has run out
Every time I try to help him, he runs as if on cue
He wants to be better
So I sent him a letter
Waiting for him to get back
I'm so scared I feel like Ima have a heart attack
Guess we both need to get back on track

Looking off into the distance
Wishing I had a pathway I could run away on
These things don't happen by chance
Things are meant for a reason
Maybe to teach me something
To go over my feeling
I hang on to everything
I hang on to every moment
Good and bad
I don't mean to be sad
I don't mean to be mad
But I am happy
Even with a life on the run
Even with a life filled with hurt, and that isn't always fun
God helps me see the light, the sun
My family is all around the world
Mom says she believes in me
Dad says God's working on a masterpiece
Ian says I would never make it you see
Sara cared about me
Logan was always there for me
My friends had been those I could fall back on
I love you all
Even those of you have only ever hurt me
You had a reason to act the way you did
I hope you will find your purpose like I did

Every time I look at you
I feel like my heart's beating out of my chest
Looking from the outside in
I tried to be my best
But I will try to win
I will have to go up against sin

When we are lost in the mess we made
And were out in the dead of night
Blindly swinging a blade
Thinking we are about to be in a fight

You're bringing me deeper
You are making me hope
Though the road is steeper
You are the one getting me up the *****
Through the lies, Through despise
Yeah you are making me hope

The momentous pain every day
Just wanna buy a house in the mountains
I don't belong among the angels - away
My spiral of thoughts overflow - fountains
All I wanted was for you to stay
A dangerous game is what I play
My demons dance around my room
A rose at half bloom
Stuck inside my head
The red paintings that bled
I have internally fled

You should stay away from me
I'm dealing with a monster
The beast is ugly
Once you're in you can never get out

My thoughts are considered abnormal
Though they are normal to me
I don't understand why I need to be formal?
They tell me to think sensibly
I am never here for acceptance
They order, be nice, be kind...
Just shut up and leave me be
You are just mad because I don't know my own ******* mind!!!!!
You say the dead can't hear you
I'm a psychopath, oh my
When you finally face that truth
Open you ******* eyes
I'll light you all up in flames
Don't talk to me when you're to blame
If Hell is really where I came
Then I wonder what the man in white will proclaim

To figure out what to say
My Familiar, my grimoire, pray to Hecate
"Blessed be the next 3rd quarter moon day"
To release my bad habits
Perhaps some new, to let go in bits
Please guide me to truth in banishing
Lord Lucifer protect my loved one, strengthen me
Lead me to darkness, do not let me flee
That I may gain the key
To some comprehension to demons, rituals, the Goddess three

My life, yeah my heart
Wish it could be sweeter
Yeah my mind and my heart
Wish I was completer
All I wanted was for you to be happy
But this unfinished puzzle
I'm not getting you anywhere baby!
I'm an incomplete individual