The most fearing is the most
frustrating
The most pressing
comes through the window
of the knowing
that I wouldn't be ready for you 10 years ago
The thought that you may have never been able to know me
Even when I could see you in my dreams so vividly so specifically
in the nature of this life form
I was drawn to so many others I secretly couldn't stand
in front of
without making me sick and quivel
they were never you
not once
They could only attempt to
try
and
replicate
Me
the connection the electric magnetic
wires stretched between my teeth
caught up
in the circles of so many dimly lit flames screaming red caution
splattered out pain
I didn’t listen
I hadn’t a thing to gain
except the knowing awareness
through the respect of them
All
deadlight, sound blank space
No pulse to work with until the truth came to talk to me during visits to the dentist and there I was just yearning for the attention of The One.
They came one after the other as does a nightmare with a ***** little secret
It couldn't be
Real
I never told myself anything
I just knew
But what does it mean to know when you are only real
in your loneliness?
When no one can see you for who you really are
Makes you feel kinda lonely…
This is the real prison.
When you know that.
And there is nothing to do about it, but wait
pray but trust in Him my God, to let him move you fluidly straight to You in Light and Truth.
I see you, I see you. And, you're not alone.
You're my best friend.
One of the most amazing people I've ever known.