The most fearing is the most
frustrating  

The most pressing
comes through the window  
of the knowing  

that I wouldn't be ready for you 10 years ago

The thought that you may have never been able to know me

Even when I could see you in my dreams so vividly so specifically  
in the nature of this life form

I was drawn to so many others I secretly couldn't stand
in front of
without making me sick and quivel
they were never you
not once

They could only attempt to
try  
and  
replicate

Me
  
the connection the electric magnetic  
wires stretched between my teeth

caught up
in the circles of so many dimly lit flames screaming red caution  
splattered out pain  
I didn’t listen

I hadn’t a thing to gain  
except the knowing awareness  
through the respect of them  
All
deadlight, sound blank space
No pulse to work with until the truth came to talk to me during visits to the dentist and there I was just yearning for the attention of The One.  

They came one after the other as does a nightmare with a ***** little secret

It couldn't be
Real
I never told myself anything
I just knew

But what does it mean to know when you are only real
in your loneliness?

When no one can see you for who you really are

Makes you feel kinda lonely…  

This is the real prison.  

When you know that.
And there is nothing to do about it, but wait
pray but trust in Him my God, to let him move you fluidly straight to You in Light and Truth.  

I see you, I see you. And, you're not alone.
You're my best friend.  
One of the most amazing people I've ever known.

Insanity
          
               is

                  the
                            process
                                
                            of  
                              e­very    line   that  
appears                            
      in   it’s  crooʞed                                                    ­  
                                      form

The end of the world on
(The Mayan Calendar)

Moving into a velar glide metamorphosis
Vicariously springing forth
Transforming out of cocoons

They were borne from the melting mounds
of powdered flakes
resting on the golden face
of my Trojan balcony
suffocating each window in utter fog
blocked in their finite prisms

I lie crisp and awake
trapped inside them
Yet still, I am free.

Let my guard down
Then you pulled it around

Close my eyes

I move
And you’re not there
This cage is deep and endless
Makes you insane
Going through the slide
Wake up on the silver lining

A dream maze
Slips through fairy dust
Powdered rain drops
and Power plays
Reappear
Just when I’m unprepared
Why couldn’t I see your actions defused?
This was psychological warfare

I was getting used to it
Someone you love
Is a more than trying on a feeling

It’s a commitment to the truth
Without the repetition of indecision

Have you ever imagined what it feels like to be a missing piece

The sweet precision of what you live to feel

Introducing yourself to new roles
and positions

To absorb
To admit
To respond
To participate

What is reality but a source of our current condition of consciousness

Consider this

Control is nothing but the power of a sword
Stuck in the dead of winter

I don’t want to see you as everything
the parts of things
You
all of me pushed out
That is all me

I don’t need to hear from you everyday
Just to know you’re somewhere out there
Time has shown its color  
You are able to find that solid ground on your own
And so am I.

The world is one crooked expression
always crooning into the cosmos of a lunar addiction
The world waits to unfurl your subjective reality

And I’m just a brave voice in a space
responding to it

A friend told me, once you pin a star, you’re eternally a spear

The next day I heard from God
that his light is just a substitute for gold

According to the world, nobody keeps their promises

So we define a few things:

liquid-  a quench for realisation
solid- self-knowledge
gas- a dense fog circulating around our selfish ideals ___

We are a jumble of our own crooked expressions

In Perfect
Precision

I could **** up your science
With an angle like that

As humility pays homage to the sun’s yoke

Living in a system that is anything but solar

The circle of survival has transformed into a flaming ball of cruelty
A mystery of clouds submerging in unreliable metamorphosis

O, I wish you were still there to
keep me in place
safe away

My thought is a solid wanderer
And the value of humankind:

Human complexity: over esteemed

(Most people would like others to think that they are more than they are)
(That they have a lot more going on than what meets the eye)

The majority; shallow beings

In the face of God
we must judge our own mirror

For he could never be endowed
with more idolatry
than is deserved
None.
in simple praise alone

Be it cracked
or smooth
scraping with innocence
or far removed

Spiralling deep into the underworld

Some mermaid being shall pick it up
and bring it to her face
distorted
in a shell like shape

It remains
a constant
reminder
of who we are

A chosen ending
beneath all things  
ineffable

and above all
wonder
brimming

on the brink
of tears.

I am.