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48 · Feb 2022
Hospital
i wish i could read
your actual thoughts of me
get my leg up
with all my capacity
to walk away
and leave you
in your cacophony
solo
cause how often
has that been a way
i have gone
totally on my own
maybe each hit
will be softened
close my eyes to the ****
going on worlds over
disconnect from the news
turn off my phone
it's all over
whatever was going on
48 · Feb 2022
It Ain't Personal
your man
makes me despise all men
even though
i just should despise you
i can't bring myself to
he's just a boy
i guess you're just a girl
can't see clearly
close my eyes, but you still stir
in my mind
reaching out my arm
but it just reminds
of all the time apart
the slits you've cut
that which you done
what was harm
stays with me
putty in your palm
mashed and grated
spliced, and dissected
like your veterinary demonstrations
47 · Jun 27
Untitled #
From the stream, I waded.
Through long strands,
Like tall grass or reeds,
I stood.
From out of the waters, I walked.
In the forests, I awakened.
In the fields, I blossomed.
In the valleys, I bloomed.
On the mountain, I grew.
The clouds parted, the mist evaporated - the fog was lifted.
As I looked to the stars, I knew.
i was thinking last night
about how amazing you are
an interesting, multifaceted, individual
all you've accomplished with all you've faced
i'm so proud of you
i know your future contains big things
you're going to do great
47 · Mar 2022
Last Night, Pre-Flight
i am a freak
all i do
is hurt the ones i love
and abandon them
and then come back into their lives
to wreck things more
what is wrong with me
i cry and ask
covering my face
and curling into a ball
i have no trust
for my friends
and the love i have
is sick, obviously
i don't believe anyone can love me
i wish
for so much
and how much do i give
how much do i work
is it enough
or anywhere near
i have no idea
i can't see clear
past, my past
it fogs my thoughts
and dogs me
till they're present,
there in the moment with me
and i subcum
i am nothing more
than everything i despise
47 · Feb 2022
It's Useless To Try
happy hours
in the dawn of day
before it all begins
and i can listen
to the birds sing
the rustle of the trees
from the breeze
rolling through
47 · Feb 2022
What Else Am I Offered?
i feel nothing at all
it's good to know
that at the bottom
you can still fall
to give way to new lows
where you thought
there was no more to go
brother, seat yourself in the first row
you're in for quite the show
remember our youth
because i will
how i would have killed
for moments with you
given nail, tongue, and tooth
would've done things uncouth
been ruthless
for just a kiss
now that i can
it's out of my hands
but there are things i still control
and a number of things
i now better understand
47 · Mar 2022
First Gen
66
works harder than i do
is stronger
obviously, vastly more experienced
that comes with the territory
"you get raise?"
hell yeah! $2
"that nice, they only give me ¢0.60."
¿what?
"yea, ¢0.60 and they give you $2. i work here 15 years and i only make $1.60 more. how should i feel?"
i would feel insulted. to give that much of your life.
"yes, exactly. so you tell me max, what should i do?"
i don't know Jay! i understand completely where you're coming from, i would feel the same in your position. do you want $1.40 from me? seriously, i'll gladly give it to you. you tell me what you want to do
silence
acceptance
that we cannot change a thing
from where we stand
that i cannot change a thing today
from where i stand
and it kills me
46 · Mar 2022
I Should Be So Lucky
he's a grown man
well, that petty much says how you see me
i guess i might be bothered
if i gave credence
to others' thoughts
regarding myself
but i do
yours
does it give you joy
to play on my anxieties
never see me
a faceless joke
for you to stoke
to keep the laughs going
46 · Mar 2022
Don't Help
idle spring
the vision of her,
idyllic.

comparatively
it's all nothing
your mood can vary,
mine does not.
make **** look simple,
with a mind
that could ****,
but you don't scare me.
wish you were just
totally open
but i get it
i still can't
help from hoping
46 · Mar 2022
Heart to God, Hand to Man
you are just such a sham of a person
and you say you live
your life for others
but how much you do for yourself
things that serve your self interest
give it a rest
with the self righteous nonsense
or is your head
so far up your own ***
you think yourself conscientious?
46 · Mar 2022
Summer Will Be Hot
these days ahead
will be more difficult
than the challenges
we faced only
months ago
younger
naive
of course we didn't know
war lied in front of us
youth like
disturbed snow
i read a poem
about limerence
and it probably should've connected
but it didn't
doesn't change the fact
you still treat me like crap
and whatever i am to you
i'd like to know
but there aren't ever straight answers
and you don't feel any need to explain things
i won't be
a solo dancer
to the tune
of a waltz
45 · Mar 2022
It's Fit
i feel the moss
between my toes
and the mud
i fell into
only minutes earlier

loss, is a cost
we all have to pay
suffering
blood on the window
of the lense
we all see through

on your knees
we'll figure it out
it's okay
and we don't pray
but **** do we wish

and each kiss
means everything to me
i know how much they mean to you
and i never have any
intention to hurt you

and baby
i just want to die
45 · Mar 2022
Pull You By The Hair
still wanna blow your back out
make you shake
eat it all up
holler my name
grab my hair
ride my face
pull my hips
choke you out
and throw it in the air
hear you shout
45 · Mar 2022
No Compassion
this is hell
i think you will always have my heart
i want you to have it
but it does nothing for you
and you can't love me
so it's wasted
45 · Feb 2022
Growing Pains
no one talks about
how translucent they are
or perhaps they'd rather not mention it
there's something you lie to yourself about
maybe you don't even know what it is
i know it's uncomfortable
facing uncomfortable truths
growth can often times be painful
but it will hurt you more
to remain the same
45 · Feb 2022
Choke On It
know how "broken" you are
so that's not it
how you can maim me
make me hurt
but i always ask for more
shove another excuse down my throat
45 · Feb 2022
Failing Each Other
mama was a *******
and an er nurse, who took care
of 9/11 victims
drugs are ******* horrible
without a properly equipped system
the wayside for her
until she died
got casted aside
not a man among you
with conviction
45 · Feb 2022
Red Rocks
got a punchline
it's your hook
you swing it, sink it in
but it's fickle and feeble
and i can still swim
and the stream is kickin'
Did you hear about the stark raven?
A conspiracy they got to know.
Heard of the lonely crow?
****** killed what was alone.
The orphan doe?
A stag that grew antlers.
Hog runt of the litter?
Boar of the bog - grew tusks & got a bit bigger.
The tiniest elephant?
Trunk like a trumpet, ivory like horns.
The smallest hummingbird?
Sharp as a dragon in precision, quick as a griffin.
As for the prairie dog?
Town; coteries & clans a̲r̲e̲ the wards.
Of the marmot?
A burrow whispers of whistles.
The tortoise galápagos?
Variability shines spectrums of different rays -
Amid waves, like amber will age.
The Axolotl?
Regenerative & able to metamorph -
Like a phoenix.

Adaptation is their wisdom.
44 · Feb 2022
Nature Is A Whore
want to set the world on fire
rejoice in the warmth
of Europe burning
America ablaze
Asia sizzling
from each pole
flames fuming
hate every person i see
**** everybody
want the world to be hurting
44 · Jul 15
Osiris, Uranus
For what you were, you are (k)not;
For what you were not, you are naught.

This is the gift of the present & of presence,
You who are being & are a being.
Change is the promise of now,
With potentiality being the triumph of the Futures,
Which hinges up the fulcrum of your variability.

How you walk with fluctuations;
How you grow, adapt, & evolve.

The Future, as past now & at present is;
To control how you mutate,
To find meaning - which is already in existence -
To liberate your companion(s), Expression & Existence.

This is the way (,)
Of Evolution.
44 · Feb 2022
Hoop Earrings
i've gotten hung up on things in the past,
it's true
that was then though
44 · Feb 2022
Yea...
as a symphony
she's infinitely
more beautiful
than anything Mozart made

and like art
she gives cause
for men
to rob and steal

michelangelo
da vinci
you would have been counted
among their many muses

who would have rendered
hercules weak
atlas to ignore his duty
letting the world
hit the floor
44 · Feb 2022
How Deep Is The Ocean?
i love you like a brother
but **** man
just let me vent
i'm not always looking for your opinion
though i appreciate it
sometimes, it helps
just to be present
tell me that *****
and let's get a beer
smoke one down
i'll shed tears
on my own
In the vibrations, I bring coherence;
From "ocean" waves, I bring form.
Amid all the points,
Like stones thrown,
It is I who lift them up
Onto my shoulders.
you're the overdose
the drop in the pale
that sees the ocean spilled
there were hands at the controls
to let up the floodgates
once
each one you stilled
every feeling killed
reduced to emptiness
and ash
there's literally nothing left
inside of me
memories
of flashes in a pan
i can understand now
why he's your man
43 · Mar 2022
Put You Down
wish i could wade
your sea of sorrow
offer relief
from the rain of pain
present each day
the only promise
of the morrow

how i'd bleed for you
only cut me dear
so it's something
you're used to
these dead ends
burn them down
like the bridges
and begin again

darlin
i can't recall
was it a rise
or did we fall

stuck your stinger
deep into me
crippled and
shaking

frothing at the mouth
hyperventilating
her voice
commanding me

never more
to see
birds soar
43 · Mar 2022
Let's Give'em The Axe
premier, sir
they riot outside
bread shortages
the price of milk
too high

the pumps, president
they're running dry
nary have i seen gas
ever so high,
not in my life

they protest us
who reside in parliament
london has homeless
we exit the union
no plan except for total independence

arrogance
from career politicians
who had no place
pursuing their trade
but they did, anyway

act as though
the people did not put you there
that can be taken
that which was given
as the breath in your body
to leave you winded
gasping for air
43 · Mar 2022
I Ruin Everything
it's on me
for the people i interact with
because they don't seem
to respect that i have issues too
and they affect how i respond or act or think
i forgot
to be broken
that's just for all of you

am i making assumptions
no actually
i try not to jump to conclusions
but what about having a mind
with nine tracks running
doesn't say to you
that some are loose
i can yank
but it's a long train
and i can grip
only the caboose
42 · Mar 2022
Talk To Others, Everyday
i want you
not these stupid ******* games
so at least
leaving
get that through your brain
that you did this
this is what you gain
loneliness
gnawing
give you
my constant ache
42 · Mar 2022
Dope
i go
below
skinning my soul
to depart from the shoal
and the shores of man
all the news of war
and my failing love life
the work that bores
my two real friends
hating me
never accepting
living for nothing
while others die
for everything
but what does any of it mean
42 · Mar 2022
We Don't Communicate
i don't want you
to feel guilt over me
or anger or animosity
sadness, pity
don't feel
for me
i think you'll find that
easy
42 · Feb 2022
Steppin' Out
never more obvious than now
people don't think
no way, no how
about others and what's goin on
the solutions to render everyone
happy, full, clothed, and sheltered
too busy chasing dollars
or some other contrive
imaginary numbers
old world heads
that have theirs
stuck up their *****
42 · Oct 2022
Battle Of Hastings
a tree sits,
outside my window.

autumn greets, hello

green, turns to orange,
and things previously flourished,
now go
down below
41 · Feb 2022
Insecure
i remember the person you were
before this man latched onto you like a sore
sure, i'm fooling myself
cause this is how you've always been
i can hear it now
you won't quit
i won't be putting myself
through this
over and over again
so i guess that's it
it doesn't matter
i'm sure you have other men
41 · Feb 2022
Matchbook & Plow
pour me another glass
i won't get up
till i can't
shout so loud
they won't fill my cup
so i figure that's the end
and the bar room's so noisy
the patrons so nosey
it's like you can't converse
just follow me?
let's find us a nook, nice and cozy
we won't leave
till they bring round the hearse
don't dip in your purse
this round's on me
wetter than water, and can't breathe
the things you do to me
41 · Feb 2022
Superstition
an artist cries tears
and they smear
down the front face of his canvas
he wears his fears
like his heart
on his sleeve
and you want to help me
even though you're frightened
stuck on the thought i want to hurt you
do i want you to help
when it's you that sparks flames
my mind wandering from you igniting
the ideas of us
and you backtrack like i can forget
and go on
even though it's you that rekindled them
41 · Dec 2021
While I Idly Sit
watching the television
as they bomb my countryside
scrolling through the phone
while they raze my city
smoking cigarettes
when sanitation services conclude
and sewage overflows
and my son starves
laying hungry in bed
wasting away
waiting for day's break
41 · Feb 2022
Thunder Cracks
i can be
a lightning rod
to inflict all your pain upon
but i won't be here
when you whip yourself
just to strike
41 · Mar 2022
Keep The March
i feel like i'm dying every day lately
or pieces maybe
but i'm losing things
things i will never again see
that once
mattered to me
this matter that's me
wants to cease to be
but the other matters, matter
and they give cause to gather
the little strength left
to muster on
and climb this wretched ladder
what awaits
on the other side?
well, sheet man
i dunno
i haven't stopped to fathom
40 · Mar 2022
I Refuse
what is abuse
to someone who will not walk away
refuses to
and any hand offered
swatted too
i ask what's the use
will i have to watch another person i love
**** themselves
as i am helpless
saddest part of it is
it isn't me
who's helpless
When One is drunk with anger,
They are more apt to be eager
To go to war.
With themselves, with others;
Occupation is aggression,
Reason's regression,
When done only for control.

In the pursuit of subjugation,
One is subjugated to ******* -
Their idea of.

It becomes their lifestyle,
The thing they live for.

In that marriage,
¹You are the bride-maiden
For transgressing against your neighbor.
1 - Because in ancient times, to most common people, ladies were less than. Controlled by their spouses, or "husbands."
40 · Mar 2022
What Do You Know?
come on over
and watch me
defecate and replicate
a couple new
younglings

we can **** for hours
and if you're good
just to watch
that's fine,
you weird kind

she smiles
and whispers in my ear
something to make me riled
all the while
just writhe
39 · Feb 2022
Smiling Through The Frown
to believe all you said
what an idiot i was
truly, if there were something in this head
by now, it is rot
and i guess everything we talked of
was for naught
it doesn't matter
i balk now
at every thought
The Ouroboros?

This One is simple.

The snake eating itself
Is suffering from starvation,
While trying for an egg.

It thinks
By the act of consumption
That it can give birth to something,
Rather than lapse
Back into nothing.

An allegory for those who steal, bastardize, destroy, and desecrate philosophy;
But ultimately, an allegory
For the evolution of those without compassion & patience.

Because those without
Are only eager
For more nothing.
Toxoplasmosis and the fly's immunity
a ****** and a people pleaser
but she doesn't ****
and acts evil
pushing buttons
flicking levers
with a performance
like knievel
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