this gnawing ache in my chest
like words can't express
miles and miles from you
my love

stirring for you
from so far
as eddying currents do
with stars in the sky
in motion all around
as the tide tends to

how do you sleep
when it's a celestial body
you find divine
and sign your life away
to stay in the dark
to worship for all time

moments from tonight
will be burned into my mind
hot iron brands on skin
and I don't know
how to feel alright
water filling the lungs in
what good would talking do
and walking is no use
stuck like a pin
I just want everyone to be alright
to be happy and have enough
battles you can't win

I know things I could have done better
I know I could have been better
if I were stronger, or smarter
or just a little more understanding
I'm too young
to be so full of regret, such shame
and grief, and for it to be so commanding
and I think at times
life is damning
but I realize it's just the damage

no fuss
no time to talk
in this lameduck generation;
a friend till the end would be nice
and if that can't arise, I suffice
a friend, generally and genuinely
is more than I can ask for

how cruel
that it can tear you in twine
two, for twice the heaven
love split between divines

trying to break out
of this **** class
these tiny pigeon holes
I keep getting stuck in
I can get ****** in
to things I shouldn't
and when I look at my life
I ask myself
what to do with it