You walking beside me was a familiar feeling
Our lives were so small, we walked around the mall
All the cafes and movie theatres
Silently reading, softly kissing
I'd grab you and continue if you shy away
oh those were the days, we'd go all the way

YOU ARE MY EVERYTHING
What did 'everything' mean to a 15 year old?
I don't know, probably ***** and partying
Smoking was a superior behavior
and they worshipped the rich rappers
Got off from the drama and fights based on practically nothing
But I knew everything
Cuz I knew you and you were my everything

Funny thing is I've lived 2 years without everything,
Miraculously fine
Maybe because a broken heart can still beat
Or maybe because everything and I still talk
Today everything was in my bed,
and all I wanted was to know how that book I was reading was gonna end
I thought I was such a reckless kid
How. Did I draw a line so fine?

I think I don't believe in love anymore
Cuz my dad cut me off at 18 for a reason I don't know
But I still believe in everything
If she ever kiss me again,
I may believe in love again and won't un-believe it ever again.

It wasn't like in the movie
Time didn't stop
No music played
when you walked into to my life
I wasn't blinking
for a split second can't be missed

I had a hard time deciding
where I sit
when I sit with you
cuz I wanted to watch you eat
and I wanted you beside me at the same time

My sister said "yes, your heart skipped a beat
but it isn't a heart desease,
cuz boy, you are in a much bigger trouble"
And I didn't get what she said
No one told me what's it like being in love

But I sat in the middle of the night,
writing poems about you
I was listening to songs
every single one dedicating to you
and every pretty thing I saw
reminded me of you

I never missed to smell your hair
I would kiss your hand at every chance
Every joke was to make you smile

Now I see you in the smoke I blew outside the window
Years ago, if someone told me about this
I would mock at them,
saying "move on, don't make it big a deal"
Now it is two years later,
my hands on the letters,
pressing one by one as I'm thinking of you
and one by one, the moments reappear
I still feel you all over me, touch by touch
but we've walked away from each other, step by step
I have to admit that tonight I moved one inch back to you
and I think I've been doing this inch by inch
but when I look around,
I'm in the same place as the last time I checked
when I thought I walked away


I might've chuckled dryly at the irony
I was right where I left you,


Right where I left you.

Beth, I saw you packing up your clothes
That’s when I realized I had so much to lose
Rumors... this time they were true
It’s such a shame that I had no ******* clue

Jack said “when someone has stopped loving you, there’s nothing you could do to fix that”
I told him “I know my Beth, she’ll come around”

Beth, what did you see in him that I don’t have?
I would take you to the moon if you’d love
You know I hate to beg
But here I’m on my knees, can you please come back?

Beth, I know that I’ve been bad
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to make it up to you, you know that
Beth, the love of my life
Don’t take this away from me
I know I ****** up but please stop packing things up

Beth, please...
I promise to be better
I won’t get angry again for any matter
Beth, my world is small
‘Cause you’re just 5ft tall
Don’t you know it’s the end of the world when you don’t love me anymore.

That feeling when you look at something
Just a glimpse of that something fill your heart with a warm sensation

You look at that and you absorb it in your memory
that you almost believe it was yours
But that something never was yours
And you know it never will be

But you don't feel sad about it
You're just happy because
that something exists
You're glad that someone has it

That's when you realize, you can survive life this way.

Everything that my mind whispers
It's just a matter of time that I start doing them in reality
Doc said take a deep breath in
Count it one, two, three

One, two, three
I hate having walls around me
Wanna crash them with my fists 'til they break
or 'til i break

One, two, three
Grab my bag and leave here forever
Or grab a knife and end it for ever and never

Everything that my mind whispers
It's just a matter of time that I start doing them in reality
I counted one, two, three and breathed in as the doc said
Everything stopped, I felt my own heartbeat in my throat
But nothing changes, I'm still nothing but a broken promise

That was it, everything started all at once again
It's just in my head but it's a matter of time that I start doing them
My fish jumped out of his tank I watched and cried while he struggled for life
I don't know why I didn't put him back into his tank
But I struggled with him for his life
'til his last jolt as I sobbed
I wonder where he is now, it feels good to think he can be anywhere
In the nothingness, in the afterlife, in heaven
But not hell, that'd be so unfair
He'd been there while he was with me

When life became so tiring, death seems so welcoming
I took a deep breath in
One... two... three...
Everything that my mind whispers
And it was a matter of time...

My dear amazing girl,
I know we've been keeping in touch, but I miss you so much
Not your touch but your love
I know
I know there sure must be other sides
But the side you show towards me
It's just full of love that I almost forget
That I could never be that full of love

My life is a mess (I know everyone else's too)
But with you and all your love, I almost thought my void was gone
As if I was completely whole
But who am I to deserve your love?
Messing things up is what I do best
And we were too young to love

The way you still treat me with the same love and respect
I can't help but wonder myself
Inside of you, is there even a single thing as near as hatred?
I know I've been bad, how can you not hate me instead?
Even I hate myself
Even when you had taught me how to love me

I am fire, I burn everything I touch
I have to stop this little moth from diving into me
You have wings that can fly, leave me in ashes as I burn
Don't love the way I lie
You would never be able to smile, with this a-thousand-degree fire of mine.

Isn't it selfish that
I wish you were hurting?
Isn't it crazy that
I'm glad that you're okay
at the same time?
Isn't it mind blowing that
you make me feel everything and nothing
at the same time?
Isn't it stupid that
I still think you're the one?

Are these memories miracle
or a life-long curse?
Are you listening to the songs
that bring me back to you?
Cuz I don't feel like I'm mentally here
Sitting in my lonely chair.

Do your days get a little bit longer
and nights get bit a little bit colder?
Do your favorite love songs
still make you feel the same way like they always do,
Or are they ripping your heart out?
Do your distractions and your coping mechanisms
still work like they always do
Or are you feeling like you're self-destructing?

I thought I figured it all out
I thought I found my way out
Now I feel like there never was a way out
I knew it would not be easy
I never knew it would be this hard

If you ever keep a bird
One day he'll tell you
That he wanna get away
That he wanna break free the cage
Not knowing he'll lost his way home
Roaming around missing you
For all eternity.