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30 · Aug 2023
Xoxo (6-2-22)
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
Regrets taste like yesterday
Change is what I am today
I can still sense you even when you’re away from me

I’m two steps behind you
No time to talk to you
Now you’re miles away from me
Meeting you was like yesterday

Reminiscing, imagining
Visualizing, glancing

You and me, against the world
You and me, on top of the world

But you let go of my hand
I don’t understand
Loving you was my best memory
Our love was my favorite story

Everything was a mystery
Now history has repeat itself
And I am all by myself

Now I’m all alone
Dancing with your ghost
Now I’m all alone
Now you’re not here when I needed you most

I cannot love someone else greater than you
I cannot find someone better than you
You are the best for me
Cause when you left me

A part of my heart has been with you
And it has left me broken
Broken, oh

I close my eyes, and heard your voice
Your voice is something compared to the noise
I hear everywhere
You are all that I ever want to love
30 · Aug 2023
midnight feels (7-10-22)
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
Give in to me
Lie down on top of me
I just wanna be yours tonight
Until we get tired

Ride with me, dance with me
Bite me wherever you like
Kiss me whenever you like

Until midnight feels different
Until midnight feels different

I just wanna lie down next to you
I feel so tired, so tired
I just wanna be yours every night
Until you’ll get tired of me, me

The weather’s so fine, the ambiance is so cold
You are all mine, now I’ve been told

Midnight hits different
Until midnight feels different
I just wanna wake up with you in the morning
And see your gaze, my darling

Walking with you barefoot
With your hand in my hand
Your wish is always my command
Cause your love can soothe

In all of me
I feel warm, I feel calm
Just give in to me
Until life hits different

Until my love hits different
Until your way of ******* me hits different
NSFW ***** explicit mode
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
Time once told me, that he alone, is karma
He alone will come along and hunt us all down
He will soon partake everything you did in my town
Time is tired from all of our drama

Time indeed tells when I will be able to forget you
It took me time to realize how blessed I was when I met you
It took me time to savor the love you have given me and made me
felt
I admit it, I was once held captive in your arms and it made me
Melt

Therefore, I conclude, it took me time to digest those flowery
words of yours
It came from that intoxicating and disgusting tongue of yours
Hence, time is always on riptide
My time has come to tell you this from the bottom of my heart
Time is indeed the truth teller of all liars

The universe, the spaces and everything in between conspire
Time always told me the truth you could never tell
Time has always been on my side
In the slightest touch of your fingertips

I have forsaken you amidst the troubles and woes you have given me
You gave me nothing but pain
You gave me nothing but heartaches and misery
You let me slip, away from the tip of your fingers

From every word I hear coming from your foolish lips
Everything still keeps on staying, it lingers
Though it was already in the past, but the pain still drips
It still drips in the back of my mind

Thinking why you left me behind
I wrote you poetries in exchange of your betrayals
I wrote you songs in exchange of your lies
I loved you right in exchange of you, leaving me behind

It’s true when Miley Cyrus tells that “Misery loves company”
But I pity you as I envy the girl you replaced me
How come you tell me things and repeated those mere words to her
You chase me now without forgetting you worship me instead of her

Can you not feel déjà vu by remembering your first compliment
I admire the confidence and I judge the poor sense of character
development
I curse you from now on until the day you rejoice on your deathbed
Get that **** inside your head
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
What you’re doing to me
Will always be the opposite of what you are saying
You bet your heart to me
But you’re not even sure yet

Oh, don’t make me forget
Yes, baby never make me regret

How you mean so much to me
Will be useless the moment I’m leaving
You told me I was your happiness
But why have I felt loneliness?

You’re giving me the benefit of the doubt
Cause you made me feel doubt
If you’re busy to chat me
I will understand

If you don’t have the time to check on me
I will understand

But when you see me with someone else
I hope you understand
I have already loved you less
I hope you understand

I don’t have the time for people who have no time for me
Just because I’m strong enough to handle pain
Doesn’t mean I deserve it
A fracture of my heart always remains

I hope everyone sees
That I am worth it

And now I’ll do what’s best for me
With or without your presence is enough for me
I’m no longer your priority
Cause you no longer own me

With or without your presence
Will make me happier and better
With or without your presence
I don’t need you anymore
30 · Aug 2023
NIGHTMARES (8-30-21)
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
How will I ever let you go
If I still remember the things we did
How will I ever forget you
If I still remember the words you said

All the things you said are running through my head
Please leave me alone, get out of my head
All the memories we did, are all in my head
Please leave me alone, stop messing inside my head
29 · Aug 2023
Healed. (5-6-22)
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
I looked back and recalled my past
Told stories to my friends
And starts to cry
My experiences in the past
Has given me so much learnings in life
To forgive and forget the past
To never plant anger deep within your heart

Every time I think of all the things that passed
I smiled.
Since I already moved on, embraced the acceptance
And began to change
Cause baby, I am already healed.
I’m no longer in pain.
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
Pretentious. I was never that type of person
Liar. I never lied about it, but are we in unison?
He told me already yesterday
He had unclear explanations, faulty reasons

I admit it, he is a walking red flag
He might not admit it, but he cheated on me
Caught him red-handed, put him on a pedestal
I might **** him in a heartbeat, no tag

Got no label for that, you see
Who wouldn’t believe such a loser like me?
When he ended things on purpose
He said, he got nothing to lose

My life is a bit candid
I never caught him red-handed
Those moments were unforgettable
True, but lies were unforgivable

He is indeed a wolf in sheep’s clothing
He put himself up in everything
With all the lies, betrayal, and tricks
Let me tie him up in a joystick
28 · Aug 2023
I am. (7-14-21)
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
I don’t deserve to be in so much pain
I deserve so much more
I deserve better
Guess all of the fragments remain

I am not like this before
I deserved better
Now that I finally am feeling better
No need to be this bitter

Thou shall not fool thee
If your intention was only to love me
Thou shall not hurt thee
If your intention was to keep me

I ran away for miles
I felt okay for a while
You made me feel temporary affection
But made me feel lifetime desolation

I am who I am
And your love was so much more
A burden in my soul
A sucker of my energy

I am what I am
And your lies were so much more
To reach your goal
Got to maintain this energy.
28 · Aug 2023
Promise (01-04-22)
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
Didn’t know when to start telling you
The truth about what I feel
About this enchanting feeling I felt for you
Didn’t know where I began to feel

That it has always been you
That the entire universe conspired to help me find you
Heaven is in your eyes
I was left mesmerized by looking into your eyes

Please love me more on my bad days
Please stay with me before, during and after
My bad or better days
You and me together

I promise you will always have me right by your side
And I promise to never leave you behind
That feeling I cannot explain
And loving you in ways I cannot explain

If I know what love is
It is because of you
If I know what love is
It has always been you

I fell for you and I still am falling
And this love is worth remembering
Oh, the moon in me finds a sky in you
And, the star in me finds a dark in you

It has always been a pleasure to be drunk in your love
All I want is your time and love
I crave a love that drowns oceans
Got me feeling mixed emotions

Both of us are enough in every way
I love you in all ways
You are enough
A thousand times enough

For you are enough for me
Enough to be loved by me
Your eyes hold everything my soul thirst for
Your hands touch every part of my soul I long for

Your lips parted every part of my soul I want to miss to
Your love made me feel the love I want to

I promise to have and to hold you
To cherish and to love you
From this day on and for more years to come
Until lifetime comes

I love you.
28 · 7d
eyy 🤙
Everybody told me what was so good in "goodbye," Our friendship seems to end, but I can't tell you why. Who are we to try, to break it down, or just let it go?

I know, I know, it breaks your heart. Now I see why we are strangers again. I thought you would remain by my side forever, but no.
28 · Aug 2023
positions. (8-20-22)
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
You know what I wanted
You got what I needed
I'll let you free tonight
Seeing the bright lights

They say the sky's the limit
Baby, don't reach that limit
Why did we reach heaven
You are my lion living in my den

Why is this feeling keep haunting me
It keeps haunting me
I like it harder like that, like that
I love how you go inside me like that

You know you're the only one I want
You made me crazy about you baby
You got me so addicted to you baby
You're the only one I want

Got to utilize the different positions
Giving you all the attention
Whenever you feel comfortable
Oh babe, you look so adorable

It's fine as long as you're happier with me
As long as you enjoy me
It's fine as long as I satisfy your cravings
Don't worry, I will give you everything

As long as I feed your hunger
And quench your thirst
Our love will never be over
Because I would always choose you first
27 · Aug 2023
Never Knew (04-24-21)
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
I never knew when my pounding heart started racing
Every time I see you walk around the place,
I never knew when I first fell for you
But it was when, I first laid eyes on you;

It was as if I can hear angels singing
Every time I see your face.
Every time you walk in the room
My mind was imagining that someday you’re going to be my groom

I never knew when my mind started thinking of you
Or when did your name started to resound on my mind,
You were too hard to find
But now that I have you,

I wish you would look my way
And let me hear you say;
Don’t run away, don’t walk away
I hope you would want to stay,

Dear love, I don’t even know your name
But you’re still the one I want to aim,
Only your eyes and mouth, they smile
Oh, I love to see them just for a while;

My feelings were like lightning
It came too fast but we’re not rushing.
This feeling is not fleeting
I never feel like reeling,

Hit the vibe and come with me
I was too scared to talk to you,
But come here and sit beside me
I just want to let you know;

That I never want to let go
I just want to stay here with you.
I never want to see you go
I just had to let you know,

The way you move makes me fall
Fall harder and deeper into you,
The way I tried to never fall
But I caught myself falling for you.

But you weren’t even there to catch me
I was kept on falling,
And one day I’ll be crawling
Next time, I’ll be walking;

Another day passes by
Didn’t know what time is it,
Feels like time flies
Every time you look into my eyes;

I hope you feel it
Cause I don’t want to say goodbye.
Say your sweet goodbye
I hope it’s worth it.
27 · Aug 2023
Weak (5-6-22)
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
This guy I met online
I thought was already the one
He tested my patience when he crossed the line
I lose control and now he’s all alone

When he’s dealing with me
I felt that he’s ignoring me
Since he thinks I was superior to him
He thinks it is making him weak

And he thinks he was inferior than me
That’s why it made him feel weak
I got a lot of things to deal with him
Since it both made us feel weak

He is ******* up all my energy
He is making me feel drained
My mental health’s breaking down again
I felt depressed again

He was so terrible at pretending
He was so miserable at lying
He apologizes countless times
But repeats the same mistakes all the time

He tries to fool me again
Then tried to manipulate and control me
And no sorry could ever bring me back to normal again
Since the trauma, betrayal and trust issues in my head remain
26 · Aug 2023
First and Last (7-14-22)
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
Our story was written somehow in the stars
Our plans can be viewed from afar
I have asked you to God
And He gave you to me

I guess we were written in the stars
Because you are meant for me

You are my prince
And I am your princess
I ain’t a damsel in distress
And that makes you my prince

You are my everything
That is why you are my king
For you are my beginning middle and end
I hope this feeling never end

For you are my love today, here and now
For you are the love of my life somehow
You are my past, present and future love
For you are my first and last love

I will never keep you like a secret
You deserved to be exposed
How much I have loved you so
How much I am proud of you

Oh, these memories are too precious to be forgotten
You would not be forsaken
Oh, let us not forget
I suppose.
26 · Aug 2023
Selfless (2-15-21)
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
If you love me
Just know that I love you more
If you miss me
Just know that I miss you more

If you badly needed me
Just know that I need you most
If you desperately wanted me
Just know that I want you most

You were my first at everything
From first dates to travel goals
You were more than just a fling
But without you, I am just a half of a whole

You were my better half
Yes, you always make me laugh
You’re the reason why I chose you
And you are the reason why I stayed with you

That is why I wrote this poem for you
To tell the whole world that I am yours
And that I was proud to be yours
That is why I love you

You are my best friend
And my lifetime lover
You will always be my forever
I hope this relationship never ends

I’d love to wake up with you in the sunrise
And watch as the sun starts to set
With you, holding my hand
There is nothing more I could ever ask

When I am with you, time flies
This moment is all I never wanted to forget
And right here we stand
I was born ready for whatever you will ask

Five years from now and I’m still yours
Ten years from now and I am still yours
Fifteen years from now and I am still yours
Until we’re old, I will always be forever yours

Three years ago, back to the moment I first saw you
At the back of my mind
I hope I will meet you
And after that, you never left my mind
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
You are the best thing that’s ever been mine
Love, you are my unending and limitless
Source of happiness
But I want you to know that you’re mine

And you are the best feeling I ever felt in my entire lifetime
I think about you all the time
How much you mean to me
And that you’re the one for me

I’m yours and will forever be yours
I’ll be everything you wanted me to be
And your 911 every time you needed me
Just know that my heart will always be yours

God knows how happy I am with you
And I will be here to take care of you
You will never feel alone
And I’ll promise to be your comfort zone

Because I am permanently in love with you
I was searching for happiness and I got you
One day, there will no longer be distance between us too
At the end of the day, All I want is you
25 · Aug 2023
Truth (01-02-22)
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
What we had was a rush
We started off as strangers
Then next up is being each other’s crush
And thrilled to see us being together

Too many times I let myself fall on the ground
But then, protected myself
From the people that surrounds me
I let myself down
And people started judging me

But you held my hand
My worth was nothing grand
Yet I never let you fixed me
Healed me

But you did fix and heal me
You repaired my broken heart
And caught me when I fell apart
And wanted to protect me
24 · Aug 2023
Sorry (3-20-21)
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
You’ve been so unavailable lately
Why’d you just took me for granted
You just said it yourself
That I am all that you wanted

You can’t catch my drift lately
So, am I making a fool out of myself?
Am I too much to be handled?
Is what I’m making you do

Hard for you to do?
So, am I just going to love with abandon?
The words I can’t say to you
Are the words you would hear in my song

Baby, I wrote this song for you
But still my feelings for you were this strong

Sorry if I overthink a lot
If I have been so emotional
If I mess up a lot
If I’m too sentimental

I just want you to know
I will never let go
I promise to hold on
Cause I don’t to go back to one

I’m sorry if I expect a lot of things from you
If I felt too jealous or disappointed
If I felt like I have trust issues
I just don’t want to feel like I’m avoided

I just need your time and attention
Ooh, I just need your love and affection

Maybe I just need a little bit of space
And keep myself busy all the time
Whatever it takes
I just don’t want to waste my time

I tried being so considerate and understanding
I want to give up already
Cause I’m super tired already
It felt like I’m the only one fighting

We’re going round in circles again and again
The pain always remains
But I don’t want to let you go
Cause I just want to stay with you
24 · Oct 15
runaway from here
yndnmncnll Oct 15
Take me back, to where it all began
It was never according to my plan
We met back in twenty-twenty
You had me at hello and lost me at being lowkey
I thought you need me

But that was then,
when i was naive
I lost my faith and it was what I believe
And i thought it was fine
I thought that you were mine

Take me back, to where it all began
I kept recalling everything that I can
But I don't understand
Why you held and let go of my hand

Does it ring a bell?
When you said, I wish you well
I mean well, you seem so happy
Not when you're no longer with me

Fate is where it all began
But it seems distant
It's not you, it's not me
Now who is at fault here?

I want to run away, run away, run away from here
I want to run away, run away, run away from here
Make me disappear, take me away from here
Far away from here

This must be a mistake, seeing you once again like nothing happened
It must be a dream, A dream
I can no longer wake up from,
For you are only here with me now.

Moments lost, suspended in time, Your presence feels both near and far, In this dreamscape, where shadows whisper, I reach out, but you slip through like sand.

Reality’s cruel trick, playing on my mind,
An echo of what was, of what we left behind, Trapped in this endless loop of longing’s brand
Where you and I, forever, stand hand in hand.

You vanished without a trace, but here you are, back like a phantom reborn.
Like a ghost, you returned and now I am torn.

Take me back, to where the stars align
Before the echoes of our past began to chime
Your laughter was my favorite symphony
Now it's just a silent, empty melody.

I wish you well, it's what you said,
But inside my heart, it’s a storm instead.
Our fate began in a distant dream,
Now it's shattered glass, or so it seems.

We blame the stars, we blame the sky,
We can’t see eye to eye.
I wanna run away, run away, run away
But memories chase me, they make me stay.


You are that man I used to love from across the block

— The End —