𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝑩𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒌𝒚

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝑩𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒌𝒚 5d

I hate the way China keeps murdering people who are practically innocent. Me too. 1 Friday night I'll go there & they'll be super sorry a lot. Maybe the pope will command Jesus to put a terrifyingly-powerful death-grip on their Stalin-loving throats till they crap-out in agony?

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝑩𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒌𝒚 5d

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝑩𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒌𝒚 @SuzyQBerlinsky · May 13

You should always beg for pity while projecting pathetic uncertainty. Play dumb. Bathe infrequently. Puke after meals. Puke between meals. Puke and bathe and be all that you can be. Be an army of one. Bleach your hair. Join a cult. Sacrifice a Pygmy.

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝑩𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒌𝒚 5d

[100% phony quote]

“If I could start over again I would marry a man who was 100% not gay and then I would eat so many tuna fish sandwiches that I would go into toxic tuna fish sandwich shock.” - a 100% phony quote that I wrote that I almost attributed to old abortion-martyr Jimmy Carter

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝑩𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒌𝒚 5d

My leg-amputation kit comes with a good leg grow-back kit in case you find yourself a little bit unfit after using my leg-amputation kit.

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝑩𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒌𝒚 5d

I'll take care of you a little bit after Jesus crosses the second Antarctic ice wall. There will be complications, but too few to trouble you. Don't befriend cannibals. Keep your ******* hidden.

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝑩𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒌𝒚 5d

It took you forever, if not longer.

1 day, before I crap out, I shall write 6 novellas & 1 novelette about
butchering a high-protein-meat chihuahua that was my favorite pet.
I can't function on tires with no air in them: bouncing on bath mats,
yanking brittle whiskers off the vile corpses of pure-breed cats after
drawing contaminated blood from the hardened necks of rabid bats.

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝑩𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒌𝒚 5d

Women: when they're not crashing helicopters into Mount Everest, they're falling out of trees like rabid monkeys.