6/21/24 continued
WE WILL NEVER COMPETE IN HELL FOR OAT MEAL because we are too smartly pious for that. It'll be 23ยฝ centuries before I listen to you again! After I go I will be gone.
(6/22/24)
HIRING A HIT-MAN TO **** PEOPLE before they **** you first is as easy as easy is. Mafia hit-men are just like you & me except they're in the Mafia & they **** people. After the Mafia hit-man kills the people you hired him to **** then **** him when he least expects it, like when he's taking a **** or ******* a ******. Those are just 2 examples. You could **** him when he's having gall bladder surgery or when he's in Alaska being mauled by a polar bear. Anyway, don't get all excited about it because killing is just like it is in the movies only much easier because real people are taller and fatter. The elitists want to re-negroidize Holland while shifting testicles with low-performance underpants to decrease fertility among normal men. That's why it's important to blanch fat-cat caterpillars and not parboil them.
LARGE COFFEE MAKER for lease. Must live right next to Lake Michigan for ample water supply. Makes 1 million cups of coffee per second. Great for college reunions.
POLA BERLINSKY AND BOB WATSON - Pola's mansion was infested with rats and chipmunks. There was a plan to gas them to death and then sell their corpses to Burger King to feed starving ex-Wendy's customers. "Hold still," exterminator Bob Watson whispered to a chipmunk that was struggling to breathe. "He sure is a cutie. I'd like to make a pet out of him," Pola commented, but it was too late because Bob Watson had suddenly dropped dead from his third vaccine booster. Sixteen **** hours later his cadaver was ground up and fed to desperate Catholics who didn't care about the pope or anybody else except themselves.
(6/23/24)
YOU TRIED TO **** ME with your new gun when I was swimming 4 days ago in San Francisco Bay with my normal lover who's an ex-gay coal miner from Tennessee. I was very disappointed with you and so was my ex-gay lover. I'm not going to sleep with you ever again because it's 50 billion times easier to make full-term babies with ex-gay men.
(6/21/24)
GORDON'S ***-SAG ADVENTURE - As expected and predicted Gordon's *** was sagging just like the old man's does, just as Betty said it would. "One day you'll see that all of those ***-comparisons were for nothing," she moaned. Gordon removed his bib and stuffed it down his pants to compensate. "Why bother?" Betty groaned. "Your ***-sag can't be fixed except in Brazil." Gordon smiled. "Here are the tickets that will fly my ****-cheeks to Rio and a new life of firmness!" Betty just looked him over with horrifyingly-****** lust that was criminal in New Jersey & Alaska. "If you can get Brazilian surgeons to return your *** to its former glory I will let you tunnel to Egypt until my fallopian tubes are totally ******-out," she vowed with the seriousness of 2 ex-lesbians fully lubricated by Miss America.
(6/23/24)
WHY I QUIT WEARING A THONG BIKINI - "Stop *****! Stop!" A cop yelled. "Use *****-Stop spray! Use *****-Stop spray!" A different cop yelled. How can I tell these pigs apart? They're both masons. "Shut up and use *****-Stop spray or I'll scratch your eyes out!"
(6/24/24)
MY GRANDMOTHER NEVER HURT ANYONE - I bought paper plates after my grandmother was eaten by cannibal Pygmies 5 years ago in Wisconsin as I was attending a rodeo there and nobody had paper plates. Everyone had oodles of plastic forks though which they used to violate each other with. ******* perverts!
THE STORY OF MY TATTOOS - This one is to commemorate the death of Benjamin Franklin that happened long before I was born. See his bald head? He had a problem with his hair coming out. Maybe he was gay? And this huge tattoo is of my neighbor Chuck. He has no fingers on his left hand. Shark encounter. On my lower back is a pretty good depiction of Terry Bradshaw before he got fat. He was so handsome then. Finally, my best tattoo is this one on my upper left thigh that captures Ed Asner's smile a week before his hernia surgery.