Julia Shalom

Julia Shalom Sep 2021

Scared to break another heart
Scared to find love in all this dark
But love light came to my shadows
Chose me his target
Said I was worth it
Said I was gold
Every little thing you do
Echos the promise:
"I love you"
You screenshot our facetimes
You stay up all night
You listen to my fears
And help me to fight
You told me that I'm worth the risk
Of broken hearts and broken dreams
You told me but you showed me too
I know your promises ring true

Julia Shalom Aug 2021

thanks for the abuse :)

I'm grateful for the pain you caused
Thanks for not shutting up about my flaws
Because of you I learned about toxic stress
I know how to be a manipulated mess

You held my face in your hands
Said you were proud of where my actions did land
I guess you like it when I cry
Maybe you feel better about your lies
But you didn't know I was crying because of what you made me do
You controlled my desires and I hated that about you

I didn't know
Scratch that, I knew
I knew you were wrong and treating me bad
But I hurt myself every **** time you asked
Because I thought you were the one
I tried to keep you from leaving
I thought you were the one
Till my heart no longer stopped bleeding

Don't speak to me that way again
Boy, I'm not your lover
Thanks for all the pain you've caused
Do your next girl better
:)

Julia Shalom Jun 2021

Unwanted

You're in my head
Take my heart
And break it if you want
It's always been yours from the start

I know you don't want me
But I can't help adore you
So here, have my heart
Rip it to shreds
Without ever catching my eye

When I need you
I want you to lie
Say you love me
Say you want me
But it's just a dream
You never were forever

You deserve it all
And I broke myself apart to give it to you
You deserve the whole universe
But I'm just a star

I am nothing to you
But you're everything to me
I love you
Even though you don't let me

You ignore me now
But maybe you never knew me
Do you know,
That you are the obsession
Of a broken shadow?

You never ask what I'm thinking about
You never ask what's on my mind
The answer is always you

And if I could
I'd kiss you till my lungs gave out
You deserve every flower in every field
I'm just a rose who fell for your eyes
But you were afraid of my thorns

You're in my head
But you don't want my heart

Julia Shalom Jun 2021

The Whys

The whys always stay
Why did we kiss
Now I’ll never feel your lips

Every night where I lay
Why does my mind remiss
On every time you put me on emotional trips

The whys never stray
Why’d I fall so hard
Now I’m wasting away
Was my heart to you just a thing for play?
When you left, you left a shard
A shredded fray

Why did I give you all of me
Because as soon as you disappeared from my life I had nothing
I have nothing
Nothing but the whys

Julia Shalom Jun 2021

Scars Become Art

I've heard it said that beauty is when scars become art
And all I can hope is that that's true
Because I want us to be beautiful.

Right now we have so many hurts,
Skin is torn and hearts are broken.
Trauma clenches our throats,
And trust is still broken.

We have so many slices,
They cut patterns around us,
In our hearts
And between our lips.

As time wears on,
We try to heal.
But these don't really disappear,
They become scars.

So all I can hope,
Is that scars become art.
These patterns tell stories,
They express who we are,
What we've been through.

Our scars express what it is to be us.
And our scars make us beautiful.

Julia Shalom Jun 2021

For you, For me, For Us

You say I'm the best you've ever had
But how does that make any sense
Cause I've never ever been good enough for you
For you
I don't know if I can ever be enough
So how can anyone
Anyone else
Ever be good enough
For you

You saw me in a light
That made it appear I had no flaws
So once they started coming out
You thought it was all wrong
I've always had this side to me
The closer you get the more you'll see
But you thought I was perfect
So when my struggles appeared
You weren't prepared
You aren't prepared
For me

You're afraid to lose me
And I'm afraid to lose you too
But I also need me
And if you're so afraid to lose me
That you can't let me be me
Then I don't know what to do
I want to be perfect
For you
But I have to be true
For me
So I don't know what to do
For us