You call me selfish,
ungrateful and mean.
Are you looking at me?
Do you see me?
or do you see a reflection of you?
I am not perfect
nor do I care to be.
You, who want me to bend and give
to accommodate you
are the selfish one.
Manipulation at its best
and it used to work on me
mold
mold myself
to what he or she wants
make them happy
don't upset anyone.
See me, choose me, don't leave me.
I am not that naive anymore
I am on to you
I see the lies.
Say it again,
and look in the mirror
Selfish, do you see it in your eyes
ungrateful, do you see it in your eyes
mean, do you see it in your eyes
Your name-calling  is a reflection of you
not me
I do not own your perspective.
I will survive it all.

My mother, mommy, mom
You were my person,
My sun and moon and stars,
The superwoman who made everything good happen
and the one I blamed for any bad that happened
My little sister and I only had you
the three of us
in cahoots or at odds
the bond was the foundation
until I built my own.
Your smile, a vivid memory
your laugh an echo in my heart
my hands look like yours and if I clasp them together
I can pretend we are holding hands again
closing my eyes
inhaling your scent of Patchouli
how did it feel to be enveloped in your arms?
Soft and safe and peaceful
when I was little
before my teenage rebellion
when I pushed farther away
how many times did I break your heart?
Each time you forgave me
silently,
without reproach,
unconditionally.

Tears flow from a plentiful stream
Sad stories shared
Eyes overflow
Precious moments inspiring hope
Cheeks are the backdrop of cascades
Loss, and loss, and more loss
It isn't mine.
I am an outsider looking in
Pierced by the worlds pain
I look to my blessings
My soul shifts with relief
Wells that hold gratitude
Fill to overflowing
I count my blessings
Wife, son, daughter, son
Health, wife, son, daughter, son
Mother and father figures, wife, son, daughter, son
My people
Who hold me up when I stumble
Who hold me in high esteem because I am me
Who see me
All that I am and am not
And still wrap arms around me
Accept this weeping figure
Heart of sponge
Soaking up your hurt, his hurt, their hurt
Lifting a chin to bring eyes to eyes
I see you
I see your path
Look and you will see
It is yours, all yours
And it is plentiful
A solitary tear
Droplet of joy leaving me
Touching you
Landing on your skin
Sparking acknowledgement
It is mine, all mine
And I have earned it