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A life lost to senseless cause
     Or is it effect, that you forgot
      To put yourself in check
       Before you brush your teeth
       Lay your clothes out for the next day
Did you check in with yourself?
Self check? Sanity check? Mental health check? On my grind check? Good choices check?
Which box did you forget to put
That x that marks the spot
That people pleasing attitude
  You are not
   That try me today look on your face
Or that I don't need this trouble
   With a side of total disgrace
   Check on you before you do anything
Am I always right? Do I really have to fight?
Why am I angry at my boss? What keeps me awake during the night?
My dreams, my fears, reminders of what's to come
  Moving forward means I have to
My sanity, my focus, my thoughts and my hands
I am an old can, expired way past my open date
Fresh is not a word I would use to describe me or my pain
Maybe blunt or numbing or agonizing
Could be a part of my new recipe for life, for living
You see, this old can, has been in the same shelf for last few months and today out of all the **** days out of a year
She decides to open me up
I'm sour, ugly rotten inside til my core my juices; they clump when she began to pour me out
No doubt, I was ready six months ago or maybe even 2019
But now, she can't even enjoy my the sweetness of my whole, golden, buttery flavored goodness
Tosses me like nobody's business,
And yells, "we out of corn"
****! I was happier in the back, with
The spam
Iam energy, Iam time wrapped up in a bowl of fruit
Sweetness is the taste of my lips, my eyes using my collosal mind to grip
Where I slip into a downward spiral, deeper than the underwater caves, darker sleepless nights turn into long
Crying days
Puffy, sweaty, Im just like a blow fish, ready to pop! I need my strength, to rise back to the top
To breathe again, gasping for air, I choke, cough a little(tiny air bubbles pop)
Nothing changes, but the time
I go back in for another dive
My words, are like  birds that fly off the page into the wind, gestures to pretend, hand shadows into two digit dividends, multiplied by toes that step out into the light cause words don't walk they take flight.
Slaps in my face, "you're a total disgrace
Don't leave home without taking your things"
You're a loser, can't do nothing right
I want you out of my sight
Too **** bad, you are a waste of a body
Should have given you up a long time ago, now look who's sorry
I'm tired, don't want you anymore
And don't forget to close my door
... Wait, I'm sorry come back Honesty!
Empty space

My words don't have a home, no worries of being alone
They have each others cues in understanding how we use them
My words don't have a home,
They live inside my power dome
A guide for cells, nerves array
You could read(feel)them like braille, tracing the spine of my vertebrae
My words need no introduction, they
Create a page of mass production, thoughts zooming in and out like blinking lights, causing a word-collision or combustion
My words need no help, they have a voice as loud as a bomb, move justly
Onto my paper, taking care to do no harm
My words are all I have
To show you who Iam
Words that provide a map
Of where I am and my future
With the touch of pen to hand
All black all black
    Don't crack, but it's constantly attacked
By whom you say? Anybody can be preying
On my skin, next of kin, down the street blue and black is still in
Two times riding while I was lighter
Cops thought I was white
But I beg, to differ my mama **** near white and my daddy black as coal
My great-grandma is irish and black,
She had porcelain skin and long shiny black hair, I was told
Stories of my ancestors, my kin folk long gone, skin color  ranges of light blues to the blackest night
Our skin was never the problem,
To solve, in addition we are more than
You can dissolve in one drink, one sip, one ship, two whips, three times sold
To the highest bidder, never too old
Do our history gets, it keeps repeating with every sound of a "click", a man run, children playing in the golden sun,
Fresh linen clothes line hung, beating of a drum, drinking way too young,
Don't know the words to a song, we hum
All black, all black
My true color, often being attacked
By contract, Iam given freedom
By God Iam alive
Give me black any day, for it outlines
The other colors anyway
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