I’m up at five a.m. and I’m
Laying in my bed
I know you said not to call again
But there’s so much left unsaid
I know I haven’t been the best
At saying what I’m thinking
I guess I have a problem with the
Thoughts inside my head

I never really loved you and
I know you felt the same
So now we’re left with broken words
And a general sense of pain
You said look how far we went
I’m sorry that I came
You wanted to feel safe and loved
I wanted to feel sane.

I feel like I’m always walking in a crowd of people
Who I was
Who I could have been
Who I want to be
All fighting in my mind
Fighting for control
Nowadays I don’t know what’s inside
If what’s deep down inside my soul
Is really me?

So you’re here again
Here in my mind
And now I can no longer find
My way out of this endless maze
That I seem to be in

I have a torch
You got a light
But everything is out of sight
Because you just light your cigarette
And everything is dark

I had a dream
Where all of the fantasies in my head
Poured out of my brain and into the world around me
And it became a nightmare

sometimes I forget,
what I used to do to myself.

I remember the feelings,
but not the tears.
the intentions,
but not the actions.

I told a friend
and waited ten minutes for a reply,
breathing in
and out.

in.
out.

worried that I hurt more people
than just me.

in.
out.

resist, overcome, forget.
That's what you're supposed to do

right?