I have kind of bad anxiety
my life's an intoxicated fantasy
where every single thing I see
I must regard as an enemy

I'm worried what my friends would thing
If they saw how much I drink
these paranoid words written in ink
and throw it up in my kitchen sink
  
  The amount of nights I spend alone
  blasting music from my phone
  trying to drown the consistent drone
  of the voices in a steady tone

   The twisting feeling in the pit of my chest
   A nauseous wave that seems to test
   how much longer I can stay the best
   at hiding my emotions, but I digress.

I’m laughing and soaring in the air so high
Till you ripped off my wings
And I fell from the sky
I can remember the look in your eyes
When you ripped out my heart
And I fell from the sky

I landed with a crash in a cloud of dust
Bloodied and crying
For someone to trust
Then he came along and instead of disgust
He showed me kindness
And love unjust

Too busy daydreaming about her
To notice the way she looks at me

Too busy arguing with him
To understand what he’s saying

Too busy preaching to them
To care about their faith

I tend to go through life crashing
like a ball from a cannon
in a bright flash of white and a roar of sound
I breeze past what's important
and tend to hurt those I love.

I tend to go through life fighting
with my words and my hands
punching out my imaginary enemies
berating those who I love
the ones who I called my friends.

I tend to go through life crying
at all the suffering we have caused
of all the things that I've done wrong
and all the nights I wish
that I was with you.

I tend to go through life walking
you might pass me on the street
I have a far away look in my eye
and my hands are clenched in fists
my mind is filled with you.

I was talking to a friend today
Feeling lost and void of emotions
you know it’s a bad day
they said when the only control you have over your life is your death.

a great white wall silently stands

I tried to paint a mural, what an artist
I guess I forgot that my talent departed.

You came along, and you tried to draw too
Painted my mistakes white and started anew.

But your hand slipped, and were unsatisfied
So you covered your shame with another coat of white.

We tried to put thought into colors on wall
but discovered even together we couldn't at all.

After a time, the paint started to peel
giving way to what I no longer feel.

When nobody was there to hear a sound
I came back with a hammer and broke the wall down.