Not many see what has become of me
Just some more initials carved into a tree
That’s rotting, that’s dying, from an ailment unknown
And nobody knows how much we’ve all grown
Conveniently ignoring the things we can see
Conveniently forgetting where we carved out our memories.

The more love you give me
The more wood I can add to my wall
Thick logs surrounding my heart
Sharp stakes around my mind
I just hope one day
Instead of love you give me the match
To burn it all down

People say "I love you"
as if it were just that easy
for all of them to say
with a completely straight face
that they feel an undying,
passionate emotion for little more
than a passing acquaintance.
"You're just cynical,"
they say
"Because you've never felt
the way I feel"
While that may be true
I believe I see clearer than they do.
or my favorite
"You have attachment issues"
as if ripping your heart out
and sloppily covering it with
last years holiday wrapping paper
and tying it up with a red bow
and handing it to the first stranger who
so much as glances at you
isn't the definition of attachment issues.

But when someone I know
someone I care about
someone I feel an intense protection for
someone who has put up with me for
so long says
"I love you"
It hurts when I can't say it back.

A car drives on an abandoned road
I sit in the passenger seat
Hands on the wheel, no sign you'll slow
and my heart begins to beat
faster than it ever has before
I don't trust you in this ride
I said I wanted the gas to the floor
but this wasn't what I had in mind

Because suddenly you're in control
of every aspect in my life
To bad you never listen
to what I have to say
oh how I wish, to find a way
to open my door and fly away
but to bad you never listen
to what I have to say

The speedometer hand is creeping right
How did we get this fast
All you want to do is fight
I just want to breeze past
the thoughts that hide in the back of my brain
seem to be gaining in numbers
let all just pray they ease the pain
and make it so I can recover

Because suddenly I'm in control
of every aspect in my life
It's supposed to feel like freedom
But I just want to say
"oh how I wish, to find a way
to open my door and fly away"
but to bad I never listen
to what I have to say

A car slows on an abandoned road
I sit in the drivers seat
hands on the wheel, no sign I'll grow
and I just taste defeat
I hoped you would be beside me
when I turned my head
but empty air is all I see
something else I just misread.

Rain, rain
Rain falls down
Spinning my whole world around

Tears, tears
Tears cry out
Sobs no louder than a shout

Ink, ink
Ink bleeds dry
Kiss your reality goodbye

Pain, pain
Pain I’m done
Everyone thinks that bleeding is fun

Stop, stop
Stop we’re cruel
Suddenly mental illness is cool.

Inside my dream you seek destruction
An endless cycle of death and corruption
I seek to fight, and end the pain
But I am just a small disruption
With a study beat you march right on
Unknowing of all the hate you cause
Or maybe you see the coming rain
A storm of emotions you have spawned

You always break
And try to take
The things we make
And try to fake
For all our sake
Why can’t you wake
And see the faith
In what we create
You say we sin
That we are a sin
And more akin
To dirt than friend
And what you send
To keep us in
The closet dim
Your hearts of tin