I hate to burden you
with my ugly stew.
I've wreaked havoc
too much on the clock.
I wish I were a pain.
Humanity's stain
died in a **** oven
pity blessed coven.

I've held on as long as I can
to this slippery eel of life
that feels all wrong for me.
I never found "The One".
I never measured up.
I float away from time
with a needle in my arm
finally an honest smile.

I'm finally done
  answered to the gun
  held to my ear
  without any fear
  this is my suicide note
  final everlasting quote

The joy of life gone
  I answered to the gun
  held it to my ear
  without any fear
  this is my suicide note
  final everlasting quote.

The river ran backward
   the day you suicided
   posed lifelike in water
   yesterday's undecided.
   The books left unread
   words still left unsaid
   dead praying for dead
   no feelings of dread.

The river ran backward
   the day you suicided
   posed lifelike in water
   yesterday's undecided.
   The books left unread
   words still left unsaid
   dead praying for dead
   no more fear or dread.

razor's edge
too sharp
to think
penthouse
don't jump
might awake
from dreams
die in trash
rats eat me
when I crash.

I'm broke and alone
into a river a stone
a desert bleach bone
don't answer a phone

Betrayed by my mother in the easy summer days
    My father home from work at 3:00 drags me
    Kicking and screaming to the whipping post.
    They never understood my rebellion.

    my rebellion was ******* all!
    I was forbidden to see Westside Story
    I read the play from the library
    my father caught me and was angry?

    the catholic church can go straight to hell
    and use their fortune off the back of the poor
    to ransom their way to the heaven they offer
    to everyone as their own carnival.    

    I drag others into my whirlpool
    I want to die in my confusion...
    I want to fix my broken parts and return
    To a corrected life in a straight line.

    I always aligned with the quirky ones
    where I always felt myself and real
    not correct and punctual, happy...
    no going back to squareville. Done.

    Launched upon the pinball table once again
    I betray my wife and kids and enter an abyss
    Guilt that could crush God kept at bay
    with vallium and beer.  Gentle women who
    cared and gave me sanctuary saved me from me.

ROTC at XU and baby on the way.
    Full time job and losing my mind.
    I took your speed to keep going.
    I thought we'd be my parents.
    It seemed so effortless for them.

    Paisley shirts and bell bottoms,
    lava lamps, pass the joint and
    long hair and free love
    This has to be the 60's.
    My world split in two.

I'd still take you in tall grass.
I first planted my ****** flag
in your ****** ground and bled.
We spent Love's sweet spot making
our daughter in Mustang backseats,
shattered glass castles and broke
your father's heart and buried him
along a great divide of generations.

grow your hair
no underwear
everyone dopes
everyone hopes
wear Birkenstock's
ignore the clocks
be brave don't doubt
turn on, drop out
on Alcott Lane
myself to blame
paint a full moon
in the living room
nothing as it seems
in our acid screams

Sunday is a gas
it's 6 am Mass
high on last night's sins
I pray hard for amens.
I had pretty dope
gave me Gods hope
Christ hangs on a cross
looks down on my loss
I look up at His pain
it all seems the same.

We put Jesus away for the week
back to our world for the meek.
Slaves 9 to 5 and kids at night.
I disagree and lose another fight.
I drink beers and man the grill.
Drunk enough to sleep I eat a pill
for an easy landing tomorrow,
another week survive the sorrow.

The air's nearly gone from the weekend.
   God! The fun we had since Friday.
   My hangover's gone and I attack laundry
   and scream at the kids to finish homework!
   Panic. She needs a specific item nobody has.
   She needs it tomorrow. I call parents begging
   and heaven delivers once again. Frenetic.
   I will miss this magic as it's gone too soon.

The air's nearly gone from the weekend.
   God! The fun we had since Friday.
   My hangover's gone and I attack laundry
   and scream at the kids to finish homework!
   Panic. She needs a specific item nobody has.
   She needs it tomorrow. I call parents begging
   and heaven delivers once again. Frenetic.
   I will miss this magic as it's gone too soon.

I'm fading with the light.
My shadow takes flight
naked unseen from sight
'til full moon midnight.

I'll bring Sunflowers
  calling on you, Dear.
  Bouquet sworn vows
  until promises wear
  time's ragged edge
  begs my suicide flight
  from top floor ledge
  I miss tomorrow light.

My time is ticking on
night and day light
Hold me tight at night
so I won't slip into death.
Breathe quiet and submit
to life's loud demands.
This is where it stands.
Time will just silence it.

I remember when I was young
and burned too soon too bright
used up all my light and blinded
everything that was in my sight
universes were consumed in fire
victims of youth's blind trust
of the fiercest flames of desire
all that was left was star dust.

So vast beyond what eyes see
  Listen to the ocean carefully
  hear the birth and her history
  washed up in the surf's mystery
  whispered souls lost at sea
seek lost lovers for eternity.

I'm just your ******
use me 'til I'm gone.
I'm your ******* snow
snort me 'til you blow
your useless brains out
with a shot silent shout!

Never thought I'd be 75.
How'd my drunk arrive?
I died but I'm still alive?
Kind acts always survive.

She let me kiss her at ten
innocent blushes from both.
She goes by Cinnamon now
and charges for hourly love
in Motel 6 and front seat
drive by blow jobs for Johns.
She hardly casts a shadow
being ****** thin after all.
She flies into forever skies.
Susan disappears and dies.

She let me kiss her at ten
innocent blushes from both.
She goes by Cinnamon now
and charges for hourly love
in Motel 6 and front seat
drive by blow jobs for Johns.
She hardly casts a shadow
being ****** thin after all.
She flies into forever skies.
Susan disappears and dies.

You counsel me to choke on it
as he stuffs it in my throat and
be the wife a husband needs.
I'm in a night sea in a fragile boat
rowing to a god I hope listens
I take on your water and drown.

Like father like son
all we do is carry on
best we stay the course
never better never worse
rules are rules don't forget
cost of family some regret
marry at a crossroad's heart
love or pedigree is the start
***** and egg make me in womb
worms strip bones in the tomb

Hold the present now
it will be precious.
Hug it, and taste it.
Remember it delicious.

I splash in the waves with my kids.
Sun and surf and family. Beautiful.
I venture out in deeper water. I'm
swept out to sea in a riptide. It was an
innocent kiss, small desire, a tiny sin.
Storms destroy everything in a blink.

I lived in the loneliness
with beers and smokes
look for perfect mistress
watch **** with strokes.

Where did I go wrong?
I went to a crowded bar.
Strangers hum the song
yearning only goes so far.

Syd was just a crazy spark
LSD flash of lightening
at midnight in Eden Park
got too high frightening
left his acid laced mark
on apples over ripening
Pink Floyd born in dark.

I saw God's spark set us in motion.
     Hell broke loose and molten metals
     exploded into a universe too big to
     imagine. Light chased light and suns
     were born. Globes crashed into globes.
     Someone's in my head but it's not me.

I saw God's spark set us in motion.
     Hell broke loose and molten metals
     exploded into a universe too big to
     imagine. Light chased dark and light
     was born. Globes crashed into globes.
     Someone's soul began the human blight.

I lived as long as I could.
Life wore me down day by day.
Pills and shrinks and shocks tried
to solve me. My poems put my
puzzled life together. Nobody
saw it and I took it with me.

I lived as long as I could.
Life wore me down day by day.
Pills and shrinks and shocks tried
to solve me. My poems put my
puzzled life together but all they
saw was crazy girl lost in modern
times without her north star. I
died with my head in their oven.

I think I understand our subtle hatred
  for each the other. How long can we live
  in each other's shadow before we disappear?
  I had your children bloated while you took
  a lover. I ached for suicide but went nuthouse.
  Shrinks and pills and shocks convinced me
  to put my head in our oven and let it go.
  I thought of our children at the very end.

The Greatest thing
I will never learn,
is just to love and
be loved in return.

build our life to be
lust's fierce urgency
makes us perfect see
everybody's jealousy

we argue **** and fight
share dreams all night
wake tangled up in light
we are lovers take flight.

Who can tell me why I'm here?
Are the tales long gone? Who
found whom to **** towards
my spark into my life? Thanks.

God's horrid anger roars
acid rain from his skies
rowboat gone mad no oars
mermaids steal your eyes
from rock strewn shores
look away from the cries.

I stroked her headstone gently
  whispered to the dead show me
  asking for a preview of death
  when I finally take my last breath
  will I haunt my lovers tears of rain
  or will I chase away Cancer's pain
  from Halloween Queen named Kellee?
  Are we blinded by light or can we see?
  Do we suffer forever or are we set free?
  Will our shadow creator ever let us be?

I've had enough living.
All taking and giving
the promises broken
forgiven never spoken.
Tally wacker won't work.
There's no more circle ****.
Our tears are all the same.
Stay warm in dead flame.

Taste me there
  you strike
  snake like
  poison again
  finish our sins
  never begin
  nobody loses
  nobody wins

I don't ink my skin frivolous.
My dead dog Rusty's paw is
on my wrist and I had "poet."
inked on my shoulder as a dare
to myself to prove it or shut up.
One more poem if you care.

He found my need and fed it.
I'm an empty vessel in a shroud.
A thousand ****** kept me calm.
I died for you to make you proud.

I'm just another trophy to make
me lifelike with glass blue eyes
convincing color of the skin and I
promise I'll keep safe all the lies.

He found my need and fed it.
I'm an empty vessel in a shroud.
A thousand ****** kept me calm.
I died for you to make you proud.

I'm just another trophy to make
me lifelike with glass blue eyes
convincing color of the skin and I
promise I'll keep safe all the lies.

He found my need and fed it.
I'm an empty vessel in a shroud.
A thousand ****** kept me calm.
I died for you to make you proud.

I'm just another trophy to make
me lifelike with glass blue eyes
convincing color of the skin and I
promise I'll keep safe all the lies.

I had a glass of wine or so.
Late afternoon turned dark
as did I. Another glass or so
and I read a poem or two and
saw a shadow inside you like
a lover hiding in your heart.

perfect life torn asunder
death in rain and thunder
webs of cancer grow
in silence you never know
until you see in her eyes
the love of your life dies.

She suffered out loud in poetry.
He punished her with his many
lovers who never read a poem.
She punished him with suicide.
Poets slit throats with razor
sharp lines and metaphor.