You say you love me
will you dive to the
bottom of my soul
collect ugliest sins
bury them forever
in the potter's field
of my broken heart
and lie next to me?

I heard the knock on death's inevitable door
had to answer the summons into another space.
There stood my 10 my perfect girl I'll adore
forever inside my Nirvana the perfect place.

I never meant to
steal your shadow
lock your heart in
my prison's flow

Burn your friends
in my insecure bonfire
screaming their ends
for my own desire.

An empty hospital bed in the living room
  morphine pills in the fridge and bed pan
  full but forgotten in the night's grief.
  They took her body away and I still cry
  every night even though it's been years.

The only one I ever fear
is she who haunts my dreams.
The one who carries my heart.
She loves me more than life.
She knows everything about me.
I'm her world. I'll be her grave.

I'll sprout again
  like stubborn sin.
  Kiss me goodbye
  but I'll refuse to die.
  I haunt your heart
  and I won't depart.
  I am a forever stain,
  I won't leave again.

I trusted his wisdom.
I trusted his pills. He held
me in the palm of his hands
while I broke into smaller
pieces still. I answered the
endless question, "What do
you think?". I dunno.
Years later I've pieced me
back together and still ask me
what I think. I still don't know.

They opened my head and peered inside.
    They found bric a brac at a yard sale.
    Junk no one wants anymore. Best offer.
    A fragile broken dream of crystal for
    you. Parent's screams in a lovely bottle
    of cheap perfume used only by virgins.
    Blanket upon which our love was consumed
    and our baby was conceived and we had the
    ****** of a lifetime. So long ago when
    I was in your heart and you in mine.
    Jars of catholic guilt. Gramps broke
    my world in a snow globe for pennies.
    The whole **** mess is yours. Please
    don't lock me up in a rubber room. I
    was such a lovely child running in
    tall grass in summer's green youth.

They ask me what I want.
   I won't tell those *******.
   Why would I? I'll tell you.
   We're strangers in  bars.

   I want to move back home.
   I want to move on.
   I want to apologize
   to...everyone.

   I want to watch you
   learn to laugh again, I
   want to make you feel good.
   I want you to scream again.

They opened my head and peered inside.
    They found bric-a-brac at a yard sale.
    Junk no one wants anymore. Best offer.
    A fragile broken dream of crystal for
    you. Parent's screams in a lovely bottle
    of cheap perfume used only by virgins.
    Blanket upon which our love was consumed
    and our baby was conceived and we had the
    ****** of a lifetime. So long ago when
    I was in your heart and you in mine.
    Jars of catholic guilt. Gramps broke
    my world in a snow globe for pennies.
    The whole **** mess is yours. Please
    don't lock me up in a rubber room. I
    was such a lovely child running in
    tall grass in summer's green youth.

I was lost inside my speed
  ****** mind hoping for calm
  but all I got was lost in Oz,
  a shrink's chair with no exit.
  I jumped from mountains of lies
  and buried me in truth's grave.

Good, bad and indifferent.
  I always want what I don't have
  and don't want what I do?
  That just summed up succinctly
  what expensive shrinks spent like mimes
  in quiet offices. Now I have the answer to
  "What do you think?"
  I think we're all mad as hatters.

The best meal ever, Shug!
Dad said it every time.
Mom smoked her Salems.
I stole a few small crime.
Got kid drunk by a beer at
the creek all by myself
a cheap case dad bought
ironically called Top Shelf.

Corner of here and there
whenever and where.
I beg for change
always rearrange
shtick for crowd
I want them loud
tossing money
****** funny.

Numbers I adore
are God's own drunk
******* on the floor
old small and shrunk.

I always love the quiet
    snow filled woods mute
    the dead have no words
    set me free with silence
    easy way to say goodbye
    without drama's screams.

Your innocent smile
   his guilty face
   it's been a while
   his fall from grace.

   He fuels his anger
   with cheap whisky
   you fear the danger
   you can still see

   love in his heart
   first time kiss
   like at the start
   bell's silent remiss

My skin looks like wax.
I see your ghost, my sin.
Come back home and rest
in our bed together again.

You were set loose upon our young souls.
We laugh uneasy on bar stools when you
come to mind. We're here to undo damage
left. We live our lives best we can under
a nun's dark cloud and catholic guilt.
Sometimes I think I can't die soon enough.

You were set loose upon our young souls.
  We laugh uneasy on bar stools when you
  come to mind. We're here to drown old sin,
  nun's black habit fallen catholic guilt.
  We live our bent lives remembering
  Sister Mary Holy Water's Catechism.

Hanging on old bones
I'm parchment skin
my story tattooed
litanies of my sin.
I rattle when I breathe
and forget most things
except my lovers and
my wedding rings.

A lesbian bar name
of Slaughtered ****
gathered her fame
Tender ****'s block.
Tiny licking flames
build goddess' flock.

Folks are butchered like meat
in buckets overflow with blood.
Friends and family might defeat
the Chinese Communist flood.
Greed bought America's core.
Billionaires bought God's soul.
Like pirates from a long time
ago they stole Him whole.

I might remember your name.
I might remember my cruelty.
I might give you 40 fertile acres.
I might free you with your mule.
I might seek my own redemption
and find freedom from my bonds.

To sleep
to dream
to die
painless
free of debt
and addictions
and love's
poison sting.

We were naive lovers
long years gone away
mock marriage tattooed
always here to stay.
I'm in a tomb
another womb
tiny rented room
sleep all afternoon.

I'll stumble over for a visit.
   I'm kinda' drunk.
   I hope you're not too sober?
   Are you insane like me?
   Contrary as a crooked line
   and seeing my favorite ghost
   on sleepless midnight's asking
   where have you been my love?

I'll stumble over for a visit.
   I'm kinda' drunk.
   I hope you're not too sober?
   Are you insane like me?
   Contrary as a crooked line
   and seeing my favorite ghost
   on sleepless midnight's asking
   where have you been my love?

My hand keeps wandering
  where it shouldn't be.
  It broke all those hearts.
  It burned all those bridges.
  It's lust's sleight of hand
  that fools me every time.

The years of youth are
full of low hanging fruit.
We are pampered royals.
Easy nothing is absolute.

I chased my tail forever
looking for a perfect lover
I grew old in dog years
and started raining tears.

Moon and sun wear me down
Time is a wicked assassin
I make a slow crawl to death
arrive with my final breath.

We were young and beautiful.
     We tasted each other and feasted
     on our banquet. I smell you still
     I'm 73 and you're beside me in bed
     in dreams that are more alive
     than my daily crawling to death.

Where are we going
Calvary or Bethlehem?
  Not one more track
  of your sacred smack.
  Our ships go down
  and we all drown
  with our devils
  in our deep blue seas.

a ****** room
an empty womb
a tiny casket
in a tiny tomb
already forgot
a small mistake
untied the knot
vows were fake

Unknown ******* I loved
for moments slit my wrist
before I had a chance to ***
died in her perfume's mist.

Innocent kids defiled
by adored self styled
monsters of the young
always forked tongue.

I can always make you smile.
Take a Polaroid say cheese.
In a minute, takes awhile
Mona Lisa if you please.
Your beauty breaks my camera.
Your beauty breaks my heart.

Maybe somewhere in between?
****** in *** or Beauty Queen?
Living our middle class dream
or maybe vomiting Opera Cream.
Christ broke my Catholic heart
promises we could never keep.

I'm 70 and blush like a 10 year old
     crushing on the girl with snake hair.
     She's electric and boombox loud laughs
     and shakes me from my very foundation.

     I have my life packed into boxes ready
     to sell for pennies at the yard sale.
     I can't dance. Rhythm was never my thing.
     I don't want to fall in love with you.

     This valentine inside my chest betrays me.
     I'm always ready to fall in love with trouble.
     The ashes smoldered and now come alive and
     We'll burn with lust in uncertain tomorrows.

She's one of a kind. She's royal and common.
She's electric with boombox loud laughs
that shake me from my very foundation.
I'm struck dumb in her company like a boy.
I fear what I feel. It resembles lust but I
am a prisoner of the life that I've created.

I'd never end my life on purpose.
   I couldn't pull my own trigger or
   swallow my hand full of pills or
   jump from egotistical heights to
   look like a broken doll discarded.

   I daydream of situations where I
   have tests and see my doctor who
   delivers bad news, the worst news.
   I'm stoic. I refuse chemo. I'm done.
   I'll die in a morphine haze happy.

   When is old too old? My days are
   reruns of reruns. I won't find the
   love of my life. I won't break hearts
   or have mine broken. I've lived the
   Kama Sutra with a sore back for it.

   Maybe the snake hair girl will
   look deep into my soul and see a
   piece worth stealing and hold me
   in her bed and whisper as I look
   into her eyes and turn to stone.

Piano notes can break my heart
  first love lost in youth's chaos
  or have me cry with joy at our
  first child's birth. I hear echoes.
  "You've been at war with yourself
  far too long. Come home, son. I've
  loved you all along. Nearly out
  of time my end is coming soon.
  Metaphors keep burning us down."
  Fire hisses like snakes in the rain.

We wed in the snow
   divorced in the rain.
   The enemy you know
   embrace her in pain.
   We were soul mates,
   shared beating heart.
   Lust betrayed fates.
   Love played a part.

Trapped in a house in a
snowstorm electric out
candles and ***** keep
us going and wondering
at the snow globe beauty
of our lives in moments.

In my cups I said grace at supper
on bar stools and raucous laughter
with my dreams hiding inside fog.
I lived inside the neon signs.
Will I know normal? I'll kiss you
when I've had a hair of the dog.

I saw you on my horizon.
I drank to your health.
I went to AA and confessed.
Skunk coffee and stale donuts
shaking sweat and smoking
an endless chain of cigarettes.

Crazed warriors armless,
anything but harmless
kicking bombs into nets
quiet church no regrets.
Beckham did it best of all
master of the Soccer ball.

I mumble and slur
our life is just a blur
ocean over and under
love is always blunder
set me free once again
divorce my wander sin
Gomorrah and *****
burned into the calm.

Everything seems so ******* right.
Just one more drink and I'm cured
as long as I make it to midnight
witching hour I'm understood.
I stumble to our wedding bed
clumsily break your web of lies
satisfied that you never bled
dream is gone from your eyes

I died when I agreed
to fight USA's enemy.
CIA counts me dead
I'd rather live instead.

I could not attain velocity
    to escapes war's gravity.
    Never found land of free.
    No more real geometry.
    Wished who I used to be,
    no now what I had to see.

We gave you all we had because you needed us
and answered the siren's call of glorious war.
Outnumbered and outgunned we lost our comrades
and hills and limbs and minds. Pieces of us came
home to never heal and burden loved ones forever.