Coney Island amusement park
Rotor where the floor is gone
screaming for mommy in dark.
In a pod with my first lover.
Now so many true loves ago.

Living is tough enough,
Love **** near impossible.
playing card on fire
          Vargas' beauty my desire!
Forgiveness beyond reach.

15 in a state of fierce excitement
the heat of Catholic school dances,
June's centerfold made me take me.
Classmates were strange romances.

Girls bled into women I desired.
I shaved into a man they wanted.
Lust is love's spark to be fired.
In old age photos we are haunted.

Hormones
pheromones
sexting on our
cell phones.

Calling from
a phone booth
talking for hours
Love is our proof.

Non profit millionaires
rulers who hide in Foundations
all are putting on phony airs
destroying once free nations!
Lock us down. Lock us up.
Burn us down and rule dirt.
I won't drink from a poison cup.
We still live. We still hurt.

Day to day we live this assigned life.
Are we a Punch and Judy puppet show?
It feels like it in my cups when my
spine stiffens and I find my *****.

Come morning and it's reset time.
I'll wake and wonder where my
outrage went and hope all is well
in this easy prison of my design.

My commas are in a hurry
exclamation points worry
colons horribly confused
periods indecisive abused
question mark is unsure
semicolon can't endure.
Quotation marks keep
words forever asleep.

My commas are in a hurry
exclamation points worry
colons horribly confused
periods indecisive abused
question mark is unsure
semicolon can't endure.
Quotation marks ensure
what you said will be pure.

You live in shadows of fears.
You swim in rivers of tears.
Meet me in the promised land.
Take my offered helping hand.
I'm different from the others.
I swear no smothering lovers.

Birth

Mom pushed hard to get me
into life I was stubborn and
liked where I was but she
persisted and evicted me.
Bright light and faceless
ghosts abducted me and
****** and wiped cleaned
me up and swaddled me
in a straight jacket ****
it I will never let it be.

Sick as hell he needed to
be put out of his misery.
I spilled a river of tears
waiting until his ending.
We laid him on a blanket
and fed him endless treats
while the vet put poison
in him to give him peace.
We're both chasing *****
in our dreams together.

The front of the box is kaleidoscopic.
I open it and dump the pieces on the
table. Scattered life yet to be lived?
I scan them looking for shapes that
might fit other shapes. Like I've done
with lovers. Some fit better than others.
Colors begin to reveal patterns and I
start connecting. Painstaking! Tedious!
Why do I do this? Maybe I'm desperate
for order. It begins to look like a true
picture, a photo booth black and white
of an ancient looking man with a crooked
smile and eyes you'd get lost in. Familiar.
Kind. I keep at it through the night as I
begin to know this person. Dawn reveals
the sun I place the last piece. I step back
and see myself years down the road with
a puzzled map of my life yet to come.

I had a breakdown fell
apart in puzzle pieces
everywhere I spilled
was bits of my verses.
Help me put me back
to myself again, please.

The alcohol was kerosene
lust crazy house on fire.
Naked in our bed obscene
flames feeding our desire.
We're pyromaniacs in love
but always end in ashes.
Our smoke drifts above
laughter dead in glasses.

The alcohol was kerosene
lust crazy house on fire.
Naked in our bed obscene
flames feeding our desire.
We're pyromaniacs in love
but always end in ashes
our smoke climbs above.
Memories rise in flashes.

If I could set myself on fire
and with a lighted heart tell
about the strangers swallowed
in hate and earth's endless
wars. Thousands dead and
missing and where's my dog?
If I could set my life aflame
and shed light and warmth on
this place and strangers then I
would strike the match and die.

It's a quarter moon tonight
the tiniest sliver of light
just one more night to live
the perfect poem I will give.

We live our lives
in paltry graves.
Dress like Queens
with violins and lovers
Hippies far out man.
I never could love
deserving lovers
I was never worth.

I don't know who she is
but she turns me on.
I love this siren calling me
from rocky shores to
this brave Ulysses
dancing more naked
than my eyes can stand.
She rises from the sea
upon a giant shell. I swim
to her light and my grave.

So many questions
for my departed loved ones.
Always a day late
and regret's sorry fate.

what road defeats me?
what breath my last?
what walls my prison?
what tale is my past?
who's left to remember?
who's going to care?
who will light a candle?
who will shed the tear?

what road defeats me?
what breath my last?
what walls my prison?
what tale is my past?
who's left to remember?
who's going to even care?
who will light a candle?
who will shed the tear?

Is God a friend or foe?
Is heaven or hell fun?
Are we born into
lives already lived?
Did Cirque du Soleil
create *** escapades?
What is this family?
Why are we? When are we?
Who're my head voices?  
Do we have any choices?

I break my own heart always.
Punch jealousy holes in walls
until I break my hand again,
spend 'time out' in the halls.
Drunk and in a kind of love
I'll never quite understand
how vows go the distance
when running in quicksand.

I died quietly last night in a cancer
  ward with whispering machines and
  silent sobs gripping my hand as it
  turned stone cold and stiff at last.
  Sirens screamed and patients yelled.
  I was asleep in perfect silence now.

Junkies banging trash cans
at 3 am to the rhythm
of the concert
in their blown out minds
make me want to dance
like I've never danced
and come back to life
from the TV burial
I never asked for but.
We lie quiet in graves.

I'm a quilt
sewn from
pieces of each
of you I've
touched  and
never forgot.

I have a cat with one eye
can't control her eating
I can't tell you why
eats when heart's beating.
Leaves ***** art on floor
to clean it up seems cruel
she always leaves more
it turns into a puke duel.

I have a blind cat that knows me
and sees things I can't even imagine.
She meows loud each night
demanding to be heard.
If she wrote a poem it would Howl and
change the course of Human Events.

I remember that time
in dark naked 13th hole
sand trap near our crime
will you still love my soul?
My mind always shivers.
Just believe in our Fate
I dream us in cold rivers.
It will never be too late.

"I love you"
"****"
"I quit"
"Don't worry
it will fit"
"I promise
it won't hurt"
"Forever"
"I want a divorce"
"You don't understand"
"She gets me"
"I'm sorry"
"It's not you"
"It's me"

I go to sleep feeling dread
    in the morning I feel dead
    fog never lifts from my head
    I need Methadone to be fed
    I can't forget what she said
    Take the red pill instead.

I go to sleep feeling dread
    in the morning I feel dead
    fog never lifts from my head
    I need assistance to be fed
    I can't forget what she said
    Take the red pill instead.

I lost my wedding ring
it fell into the mud
with all the other ones
our horror of blood.

The end wouldn't come.
***** to death by many
rag doll kissed by some
just a **** for a penny.

rain fell long and heavy
  it overwhelmed the levee
  downed a thousand trees
  drowned countless turkeys
  choked a million frogs
  soaked my fire dry logs
  cleansed my soul of agony
  won't you just let me be?

I have a confession to make. My
  family consists of clowns. I don't
  mean Circus types, I mean purely
  human and completely seltzer water
  funny, baggy pants, ****** nosed and
  spinach in the teeth clowns. Take a
  Family Photo and we all have closed
  eyes. Our zippers are always down.
  We gather for a wedding and the
  bride to be dashes for the door,
  her entire family on her heels.
  The thing is, we're family and
  we're together for better and worse,
  until we're shot from a cannon to a
  place that fits us like a rubber 'til
  we die out like the cuckoo bird.

Paint me in watercolor.
  Bring me back to life.
  Hues of laughter and desire,
  light inside brilliant light
  husky brawling of youth
  half naked, sweating, proud.

Raise your cups in a toast
to all the ones we love.
Here's to our mistakes
and those we made right.
We're human after all.
Here's to you and me.
Early love is easy. Toast
to those who suffered love
and carried on through years
and sleep snoring tonight.

I saw you on the subway.
You showed up in my dreams.
I woke desiring you.
I'll never see you again.
I can ride the trains forever
but math says we'll never meet.
Random is love's way and she
leaves us desperate for impossible.

I'll just look the other way
  let you steal my night and day
  silence my words I need to say
  a broken life I'll always play.
  I'll **** me as an afterthought
  piece of filet you never bought
  from a butcher I never caught
  my ***** you always sought.

I'm lost inside a desert
among it's cactus forest
hell's heat beats me down
blood blinds, eyes drown.
Water was a never thing
inside a mad song I sing.

I walk the street
my *** on display
pull over we meet
discuss what to pay

ten bucks for head
a minute or hour
guarantee I'm fed
my ****** flower.

I chased my dad into traffic
thinking he was leaving me
broken leg alive was magic
an old man will always see.
I try to remember the tragic
but I can only let it all be.

Children pick flowers
  in lazy summer fields
  rage hiding in hours
  innocent one yields
  counts to ten ready
  or not here I come
  daddy's pistol steady
  warm in noon's sun.

You better hope you have another
card up your sleeve and you're
ready to die if it drops on the floor.
Card sharks have death tools so
keep a shot in your sleeve to put
the **** thing to rest or die.

Drink in dark bars at noon.
  Drive by hookers on displays
  down boulevards of dreams
  where pleasure never stays.
  Smoke **** without filters
  drinking shots and draft beer
  wife hunts me bar by bar.
  day drags into night no fear.
  We always face consequences.
  Silent treatment. Sleep alone.
  I look for a job in morning.
  Real men, dogs without a bone.

A bitter pill to swallow
  I still don't know the cost
  of which god to follow
  I'll die forever lost
  Maybe I'm an atheist
  and fade into the night
  a furious raised fist
  never found a fight.

A bitter pill to swallow
  I still don't know the cost
  of which god to follow
  I'll die forever lost
  Maybe I'm an atheist
  and die into night
  just a raised fist
  never found a fight.

I drink Absinthe all alone.
I take my pills turn to stone.
I fade into the womb of night
I'm born once more into light.

you got my ball
   you got my chain
   you got my misery
   you got my pain
you make me despair  
you never leave
I choose to die    
you just bereave

They're hills are huge,
defeat us in numbers
and never give up ever
and always remember.
Marx. Lenin. Stalin. Mao.
Senate and congress now
in broken USA anyway
middle class dead today.