Life

birth and death
first and last breath
time's chaos between
a pauper or a queen
all is only a whisper
a one eyed cat's purr
broke 5 year old leg
my ***** and her egg
start it one more time
is it reason or rhyme?
repentance or a crime?
wretched or sublime?

Life

  You're my religion, my church, my prayers
  and the jury on the day of my judgement.
  You're air I breathe and warmth of sunshine,
  spectacular leaves in autumn and fresh snow.

  You're every thought I ever had good and bad.
  You're every ****** I've ever known and every
  tear spent mourning the deaths of relationships
  and friends and family and the dearest of pets,
  every tender moment in each other's arms and
  every drunken fight we had and cruel words we
  threw at one another and holes punched in walls.
  Exhausted we surrendered and made ****** peace.

  Asking if it's all worth it is useless. You just are.
  You're each moment and thought and success and failure
  I've ever known. Birth and death and in between is you.
  I don't love or hate you. I don't really know you. I just was.

Makeup can be warpaint
   just 2 young dumb kids
   in West Side Story minds
   playing in a mine field
   the whole thing explodes
   in the third act and I
   exit Cincinnati to Boston
   a blinded horse in Equus.

I cross the threshold
  living in a definition
  I don't want to suicide
  an act of desperation
  let no one leave alive
  life comes home to die.

Diminished
near finished
seek a grave
soul to save
betrayed again
the mortal sin
**** the rules
all of us fools
never really die
as hard as we try
I watch your ****
for the hell of it
life for the brave
dead dreams we save.

Birth to Death is life.
On a pinball machine
bounces off bumpers
into brand new clean

gone a new you
no stretch marks
summer of love
**** in Eden parks.

I did French leave
I abandoned you
I went to Boston
built a life new.

It's mathematical
an eye for an eye
always practical
tongue for a lie.

I need my penance
you silent collateral
the final death dance
eat my mortal soul.

You have limited weeks
that are still available
small vacation peeks
your time unassailable.

Leave it clean so new
guests thoroughly enjoy
their pristine view
of this brand new toy.

Life is Blink of an Eye

       I was born through time and space
       landed in this crazy bright place
       furious at light and white beasts
       with no faces but ******* and feces.
      
       I lived parts dealt me rich or poor.
       Bully or bullied Methadone *****.
       AA and AlAnon LGBTQ and straight.
       I always struggled most with weight.

       I had visions through time and space
       in Hospice in Morphine dreams place
       light's candle abandoned the living
       accepting a blink of eye forgiving.

Life is tedious and dull
as a tale told too often.
I drink wine to make
it seem magical and keep
the razor from my throat
and despair for breakfast.

Life's a puff of smoke and chaos
    and a breeze that makes it clear,
    an endless walk towards endless.
    We fall in step then we disappear
    
     in a lost rhythm sometime after.
    Memory is fallen wires snaking
    in the rain, deadly in its clarity.
    We start it through fear shaking

    and end it down a rabbit hole that
    takes us through a looking space.
    Hungry man snake pulses inside
    the waiting Snowdrop ****** vase.

75 and moving to last page
time to clear an empty nest
just accept the final stage
then  throw away the rest.

Dumpster in the driveway
collects my broken dreams
books bought never read
nothing as it ever seems.

Guitars and keyboards tossed
lyrics forgotten as stutters
all my words are dead lost
poems die in wet gutters.

Final note of
life's symphony
resonates with
our sympathy
priest consoles
bells will ring
tears will dry
angels will sing.

Time is flat
A Carousel
ride forever
a life I dwell.
No heaven
just reruns
live it again
the same sin.

We met in a bar introduced by friends.
I spoke to barflys and almost lost you.
I saw you in a vision of light and you
burned your way into my heart. A bolt!

Furious flash of His anger
puts the fear of God in us.
We hope magic beads and chants
will save us from the ignorance.
Science will explain it all away.
The planets spin madly around
our sun and we eat dinner and the
wine doesn't spill in ocean waves?
We are frozen in our life frame to
frame while everything around
us is complete chaos in dreams
that we can never understand.

If I could love what I should
instead of bent lines and curves
going where they shouldn't
I'd be the perfect insect for
society and spend my life in
glass jars with holes in lids.

The pagan sun
fierce at noon
cool at midnight
God's full moon
dusk bugs light
captured in a jar
killed in flight
in children's war.

A collection of stars
in my childhood jars
next to my little bed
morning all are dead.

prison yard lights
Friday night lights
What will you give
as we hide in shadows
in the dark nights?
under the bleachers
playing at love
as the crowd cheers
we dance from above
and suffer for years.

The light we never see
our life not meant to be
remember the forgotten
grapes of wrath rotten.
Seeking a Promised Land
struck dead by God's hand.

It's happened before.
I've fallen in love a million
times and the fire always
dies on a bed full of ashes.
There's no lust in a bottle
only soft moments of truth.

She hypnotized me.
She mesmerized me
staring in my eyes
telling me the lies
I never believed
her love deceived
I broke my own heart
just like I always do.

Mysterious
not serious
magical
hysterical
feral cats
wharf rats
swinging bats
miss the ball
**** it all
give me a call.
Grandma
a trip to the mall
buy a spot
to be my plot
bury my ashes
in lightening flashes
while we live on
until we are gone.

Listen to the wind.
I hear that voice again.
It tells of things we fear
and some we love but
most of all a baritone
that knows my weak
and my strength while
I doubt everything.
I'll wake to the barking.
I'll hope for the best again.

Susan Tucker
Thomasina Latina
Virginia Keenly
Linda Hotze
JFK Killed
Curly hair girl
Kathy my Love
broke our *****
made our Katie
in a Ford Mustang
killed your father
broke his heart
summer of love
tore us apart
burn the bras
halter tops
I drowned
in *******.

I was driving cross country
yet again running toward
or away from paradise
or hell I landed in a cheap
motel in Little Big Horn.
I had beer on ice in the tub
and in sleep I dreamed
of Custer in pretty hair
leading blue soldiers
to massacre's last stand.

Same little boy I've always been
now trapped in this old man skin.
I feel there's no way I can win.
Little boy carries old man sin.
I bounce off walls deep within
the carcass of my closest kin.

A child disappears
like magic tricks
little bitty fears
stroke the ******.
Learn the trade
be an expert
don't be afraid
to taste a squirt.

She favored earth colors
and rough boy games
and science and vaginas.
Her own and then others.

they take our orders
  clean our tables after
  fractured smiles always
  with an eye on the clock
  coins left like charity
  count it fingers crossed
  feed the kids or keep
  them warm or buy a pint
  and dime bag to feel a
  little like a big shot.

they take our orders
  clean our tables after
  fractured smiles always
  with an eye on the clock
  coins left like charity
  count it fingers crossed
  feed the kids or keep
  them warm or buy a pint
  and dime bag to feel a
  little like a big shot.

dancing in the flames of hell
in a place I belong with friends
long gone reunited, cold beers,
A/C now it's like Georgia's summer
and he beats the keys to death and
the rest of us back to cool life.

I know life matters
except road splatters
and children eaten
and cruelly beaten
blood and tears
rivers of fears.

Live today
tomorrow
shimmers
on horizons
never reached
mirages
broke vows
red rains

You people hiding in crowds who
  think I don't care of your pain
  need to ******* tears and know
  I bleed the blood you do and die
  in your pain while I think of
  loved ones who will miss the
  mess I am and always was but
  hold your hand to the very end.

We live
then die
we laugh
and cry
wonder why
still try
to pray
for a day
He comes again
we answer sin.

birds singing insects trilling
wind whipping dogs barking
cats meowing fires crackling
hearts beating keeping time
fireworks color midnight
and thunder in our hearts
when we met the circus came to town
when it's over it's hardly begun
the laughter is gone forever
the silence is deafening

When I wake again
I've lived too long.
Another day in prison.
My life is really gone.

Nothing's perfect but some
     things are perfect enough.
     Begging God in tears to cure
     your cancer for the kid's sake
     as you puke your guts out in
     the chemo spa treatment room.
     Remission means temporary
     reprieve between the scans.

We would do well to die
before our dreams.
  I stare vacant
where I was aroused,
an old fool.
  How do I limp
to my finish line? Help me
  know my place now
that I've packed my life in boxes.
I yearn for my big sins.
Where is lust's object of desire?
Where is my ******?

Light of my life,
fire of my *****.

A butterfly wild on the wind
landing weightless on my life
you cracked my world to pieces.
No family's safe from ******,
coquettish nubile kitten who
drowns me in cheap perfume.

We would do well to die before our dreams.
  I stare vacant where I was aroused, an old fool.
  How do I limp to my finish line? Help me
  know my place now that I've packed my life
  in boxes. I yearn for my big sins. Where is
  lust's object of desire? Where is my ******?

******'s sin is mine alone.
  She never knew her power.
  Bubble gum puffy nips
  I desired her perfect flower.

  Her mother died to save her
  but she saved me instead.
  She came to our bed in tears,
  that night she finally bled.

  ****** floats wild on the wind
  her cheap perfume my seduction.
  She died birthing our Mortal sin
  causing my Eden's destruction.

******'s sin is mine alone.
  She never understood her power.
  Bubble gum and puffy ****
  I desired her perfect flower.

  Her mother died to save her
  but she saved me instead.
  We went to my bed for comfort,
  that night she finally bled.

  ****** floats wild on the wind
  her cheap perfume my seduction.
  She died birthing our sin and
  causing my Eden's destruction.

******'s sin is mine alone.
She never understood her power.
She wanted innocent flirtation
while I desired her perfect flower.

Her mother died to save her
but just saved me instead.
I brought her to my bed for comfort
that was the night we finally bled.

****** floats wild on the wind.
Her cheap perfume makes me drown.
She died birthing our mortal sin.
I cried for her. Lust took us down.

******'s sin is mine alone.
  She never understood her power.
  Bubble gum and puffy ****, but
  I desired her perfect flower.

  Her mother died to save her
  but she saved me instead.
  I brought her to my bed for comfort,
  the night she finally bled.

  ****** floats wild on the wind.
  Cheap perfume my rhapsody.
  She died birthing my sin.
  I will never again be free.

******'s sin is mine alone.
  She never understood her power.
  Bubble gum and puffy ****.
  I desired her perfect flower.

  Her mother died to save her
  but she saved me instead.
  I brought her to my bed for comfort,
  the night she finally bled.

  ****** floats wild on the wind
  her cheap perfume my seduction.
  She died birthing our sin and
  baptizing my *******.

I'm just a lonely billionaire
with tiny loans on tiny houses
ready to foreclose on tiny people
who lose jobs to China and miss
payments and live in cars or boxes
in Hoovervilles. I think of you as
dollars and cents, pennies on the dime.
Burn me to ash if you must. I survive.

I'll bury you in parts
   left after explosions
   all the broken hearts
   tear stained emotions
   leave me to my own
   in fields of neglect
   where nothing is grown
   love will never resurrect.