I drove me to the corner
with an oversized *****.
She's a camouflage lover.
I wear bullet proof rubber.
We pretend love in Motel 6.
I sleep. She goes for a fix.
I buy her eggs and a waffle.
Our love was really awful.

We die one at a time when
our time is up and like dominoes
we click as we fall into graves we
never expected but knew about
all our life. Each of us thinks
we'll be the first to live forever.

I can't do this anymore.
Aimless daytime chores
pick up all the dog ****
clean the uppity cat's box.
Capture errant dust *****.
I'll start smoking again
addict myself to ******.
Overdose is my final sin.

She thought I was a carny
but loved me all the same
I made her laugh out loud
never caused her shame

Don't break me like a toy
or a long forgotten boy
yesterday's mistake
tomorrow's deadly snake
a heart drowned from tears
spilled over many years.

Do I know you from somewhere?
You seemed so near in my rifle scope
across no mans land I tried to **** you.
Let bygones be bygones. Forget the rope.
I'll be your waiter can I fetch drinks?
Bury the hatchet and hold onto hope.

Do I know you from somewhere?
You seemed so near in my rifle scope
across no mans land. I tried to **** you.
Let bygones be bygones. Forget the rope.
I'll be your waiter can I fetch drinks?
Bury the hatchets and hold onto hope.

Don't slam the door, boy, when you leave.
   You made your bed with that worthless *****
   and you'll both end in hell's kitchen weeping
   for your unholy child born within deep sins
   of forbidden flesh and lust's laughter. Look
   out for fire. I pray for your souls always.

   We lived with our love and sweet daughter.
   We had a son soon after. Like rabbits.
   Years later you are all dead. Life moves on
   and as I near the grave I slam every door I
   can and give my blessing to every **** thing
   that lives outside the lines. They matter most.

I fell down into a rabbit hole
tumbling until I landed in an
acid trip my keyboard shakes
and my mind expands and
you all creep from the shadows.
A Cheshire cat's grin appears
then it shows itself and directs her
to the March Hare's house
and the mad tea party.
She finds  her way to the garden.
The hookah smoking caterpillar
lusts for her purity but lets her
go to find the Red Queen says
off with her head. The door mouse
warned her keep your head.
She wakes from her dream.

I fell into a rabbit hole and
tumbled until I landed in an
acid trip; my keyboard shakes.
My mind expands. I'm in Wonderland.
You all creep from the shadows.
A Cheshire cat's grin appears then
the cat shows itself and directs her
to the March Hare's house
and the mad tea party. The tea is
spiked with acid and she has a cup
then finds her way to the garden.
The hookah smoking caterpillar
lusts for her purity but lets her
find the Red Queen who says,
"off with her head". The door mouse
warned her keep your head, Alice.
She wakes from her dream. She finds
herself chained to a bed in Bedlam.

My life was on the ropes.
     22 and 2 ex wives. 2 kids.
     Night shift cleaning floors
     and toilets in a grocery chain.
     She reached me at 2am in tears.
     Our dog died. I went to her dorm.
     We drank and ****** like before.
     I ran away to Boston to do over.

Do Poets Reside on a Mental Spectrum?

    Are we insane to a greater or lesser degree?
    Creativity comes from internal conflicted minds.
    Alcoholics, drug addicts, suicides and everyone.
    We work harder than most. We wring out all meaning
    of each word. Poetry puts us on a very tight budget.
    Life stories can be as short as:
          I lived. I died.
    A bit longer:
          I lived. I loved. I died.
    Getting a bit wordier:
          I lived. I loved. I strayed. Her lawyer ****** me.
          I died. I was buried in a potters field.
    I'd love to go on but I'm in my cups and ready to walk
    my hounds of hell and listen to music and stare at the
    stars and planets and wonder if we poets are stardust.
    When I get home I hope I can remember that thought.

Slightly ****** and drunk
  we enter into far out reaches
  of the universe to microscopic,
  subatomic worlds. We wonder if
  life's a dream, then argue whose.
  Is time travel possible? Maybe
  we're all from the future or past.
  If we changed an event from the
  past would we exist in the now?
  3am we all dream of tomorrow.

Slightly ****** and drunk
  we enter into far out reaches
  of the universe to microscopic,
  subatomic worlds. We wonder if
  life's a dream, then argue whose.
  Is time travel possible? Maybe
  we're all from the future or past.
  If we changed an event from the
  past would we exist in the now?
  3am we all dream of tomorrow.

Dorothy found us all in need
of a heart, courage and brain.
We walked her yellow brick road.
We slept in poppies in the rain.

She kept us going as dear friends
hard working with deadlines near
we all felt the changing winds.
Her laugh died, too much to bear.

Dorothy found us all in need
of a heart, courage and brain.
We walked her yellow brick lead
We slept in the poppies in rain.

She kept us alive with fine wine
hard working with deadlines near
crack soft whip to finish on time
her Dot laugh our reward to hear.

I cover me in doubt's blanket
keeps me warm against fake it.
True or false who to trust now?
Lust's gravity's birth's plow

The Final Chapter

I thought I was a boy
runs in summer grass
no classes freedom joy
my lifetime is near pass.
I don't know death's
ugly end of my life
shortness of breaths
hatred of my ex wife.

Throw a final dart
place to live to die.
Final beat of heart,
final kiss goodbye.
Cremate me I learn
be happy in an urn.

We grabbed each other shamelessly in theaters.  
   Weekends in the bed never coming up for breath.
   Eating was not important. *** was all consuming.
   I'm sorry you stopped being the woman I married.
   I'm sorry I stopped being the man you married.
   The air came out of the balloon. The wood rotted.
   Time always has its way with our sacred myths.
   We are stunned when love withers on the vine.

We grabbed each other shamelessly at movies.
   Weeks swimming in bed never coming up for air.
   Eating was not important. *** was all consuming.
   I'm sorry you stopped being the woman I married.
   I'm sorry I stopped being the man you married.
   The air came out of the balloon. The wood rotted.
   Time always has its way with our sacred myths.
   We are stunned when our love withers on a vine.

In anything? Me or you or us?
Kids or Uncle Reggie's cancer?
War's brutal destruction?
Love's gentle healing?
A kind word to strangers?
A smile on the train and
laughter among the pain?
Dreams? Forever after?

The Trinity? Me or you or us?
Kids or Uncle Reggie's cancer?
War's brutal destruction?
Love's gentle healing?
A kind word to strangers?
A smile on the train and
laughter among the pain?
Dreams? Forever after?

You're a burr in my saddle
a stone in my shoe
annoying rattle
driving to you
in my **** box car
held together with glue
to remove a spider
for my love of you.

1965 Drafted to fight the Viet Nam war
just a skinny pimple faced warrior to be
counted in the dead column of Generals
keeping score in their silly death games.

Capture my love, anger and fear.
   Scratch my frailty with your pen
   upon the bone white paper, My Dear.
   Draw me in ink honest once again.

I saw God's spark set me in motion.
     Hell broke loose and molten metals
     exploded into a universe too big to
     imagine. Light begot light and suns
     were born. Globes crashed into globes
     stars blinked in night's black canvas.

I'm going to bed
to join the dead
for time it takes
dream mistakes
shake in sleep
soul to keep
wake in light
forget the night.

Dresden

Oh, ****. Here comes my rage again.
I thought the drugs kept it at bay.
My shrink promised it would but
said we might have to adjust dosage
and we'd talk next week. It scares
me near to death. Loose wire in rain
snaking itself wild full of death.
My kids barely shake in fear but
they do and it just spikes the rage.
I love you! I'd never hurt you!
******* it to hell!I'd never bomb
your cities to infernos like Dresden.
I'll tuck you in at night and battle
monsters under your beds.
I'll take you fishing.
I'll fix your flat tires.
I'll never burn you alive
from a great height God like.

I strangle my devil
in the shower
to rob him
of his power
until I hear
her ***** line
smell her smell
my devil's rhyme
comes back to life
appetites rule
touch its own reward
drooling idiotic tool.

We planted our hearts
in our backyard doubt
waited for sacred water
all we got was drought.
Love is a quiet slaughter
never suicides shout.

Life's a carnival, a festival and
    a tragedy and comedy in one pie.
    It's a terrifying and wild roller coaster
    and that first time in the deep end
    when you thought you'd never find
    another breath but did. It is lost in
    time in the bumper car ride at Coney.
    It's kissing grandma's corpse goodbye.

As I drown let me be
   In the deep blue sea
   I follow the echo's waves
   through the coral caves
   sky and sea witness my death
   salt water steals my breath.

Desperate drowning lovers
I walk along reaching hands
like Christ across the water
boys are toys buried in sands.

How to move from here to there?
With our entire life in tiny boxes.
Million rocks to move somewhere
Sisyphus calls the Uhaul  bosses.

I love Pink Floyd
when I'm drunk
I love them when
dancing in the dark
in midnight Eden Park
I love them soft
and loud as hell
explosions of planes
lights burn the nights
I love Floyd's flights.

A glass of wine
  and I will sign
  on a dotted line
  free of me and mine
  no more empty threats
  morning's pained regrets
  always the unpaid debts
  just drunk and forgets.

I don't need another drop.
I'll stumble to bed tonight.
I hope I dream of you and
not her with the snake hair.

I love everyone.
Hate has no room here.
The world is full of sun.
Hide the hidden fear.

I didn't have much to eat at dinner.
  I had glasses of wine and sips of gin
  I was feeling tired, not drunk, mellow.
  I asked siblings about the Will again.

  Hell broke loose. You were spoiled.
  You were Dad's fave. Mom loved you most.
  The mood shifted from love to anger.
  I suggested, "I would love to fake a toast."

I chase truth like I
bark chase my tail
in the **** camps
air was so rare
I feel your pain
Thanks for service
humans destroyed
none unscathed
after the "Peace"
a million babies
of wars desperate
need for lovers
breathed carrion
drinking Tang
for Astronauts.

I can't regret
what I forget.

I'm drunk enough to drink
a toast to my own demise
no fear no time to think
death comes no surprise.

Nothing worse than a drunken poet.
  Scratching **** on a pad of paper
  hoping some alchemy will create
  Poems to be worthy of the greats.
  Mind numbly grabbing for every word;
  brilliant lines drowning in beer spills.
  Poetry spilling on the tiles as sacrilege.
  A nightcap will put this futility to bed.

I woke up and hated me
for what I called you in
my drunken truth. I never
want to hurt you but I do.
It seeps out in weakness.
I might quit drinking but
it might turn to cancer and
live within my blood and leak
from my blind eyes I'd turn to
dust. I'll have another glass.

I float above my host
one more drink heals
pain burns the most
that he no more feels.

Too much fools blood to drink
I made monsters to never think.
Mad as a hatter follow the hare
down the rabbit hole if you dare.
A tab of acid and Cheshire Cat
I married a 10 who turned to fat.
Rusted tin man and cowardly lion
Dorothy's world is finally dying.

Drunk Grandpa has a phone
and texts me concern
warns me of his mistakes
hopes that I can learn
where the mines are
buried I keep my legs
he means well I love him
he begs me to hope, pray.

Drunk love is magic
kinda true and tragic
born in a Dali womb
a melting clock tomb.

I love our weeping shame
the edge of suicide's game.
Closing time once again
last chance for mortal sin.
See you in the piano keys
haunting dreams please.