I looked my one eye cat
in her lonely eye and
saw a trace of cancer
like sharks in water
like slicks of ink
licking hungry lips
as buzzards might.
I beg no more death.

You hang on your cross in my bedroom
reminding me of your suffering and I
feel guilty for the 40 lashes and the rest.
I'll pry nails from your hands and root
for You to rise from death magician like
to blow us away and hang dying on walls.

I've been on your cross
nailed impaled beaten
I never felt your loss
you in my mouth eaten.

I live in a Church
soul kept in a jar
I stop Jesus search
found him on a bar
stool next to mine
we talked of fate
society's decline
everybody's hate.

like a ***** the metaphor
keeps giving it out on, on
I did my best to live. I failed.
The fourth, the fifth,
the minor fall, the major lift.
Hallelujah. Midnight Mass choir
lifts me to tears of joy as he's
born to a ****** in an angry mob.

Christ don't live in churches.    
    He lives in the slums and prisons,
    grungy dive bars and crack houses.
    He offers hope to the hopeless
    and direction to the lost souls.  
    Christ doesn't sleep in church pews
    he sleeps on park benches and grates.
    his blood is cheap wine communion
    on city streets his body stale bread
    from the soup kitchens for the poor.
    He lives where he's most needed;
    then and there and here and now.

Christmas time
decorate pine
eggnog strong
Christmas song
It's a Wonderful Life
put away the knife
drink another scotch
goose Honey's crotch
she loves that
wear Santa hat
feed the fire
forget desire
kids are there
so unfair
lights blink
can't think
curse my *****
presents burn.
In hotel
Xmas hell.

Death is Under the Tree

Another week another cancer
for friends to battle best they can
or die the best they can't. It's ugly.
It will come for us all in time.
It comes out of left field. It creeps
into you quiet as a Christmas mouse.
Holidays are tucked away in a
hospital bed and Hospice care.
Death is under the tree
wrapped in tissue wet with tears

Santa comes overnight and leaves stuff.
Sleep. Dream of toys and candy canes.
Tomorrow never seems to come.
We barely sleep and meet at 4 am.
We kids gather at the top of the stair to strategize.
5 am we send a soldier to wake mom and dad.
They are defeated and beg for 10 minutes.
In 20 minutes the living room has erupted
in Xmas. Wrapping paper and ribbons
have adorned this happy home.
It's as close to perfect we'll know.
Outside the window falls the snow.

4 am we kids are on the stairs
eager to see our bounty in the
living room. We've waited all
year and we might explode if
Mom and Dad don't let us see.
I'll die for your secret garden
an entrance into Eden at last.
In tall grass we surrender our
precious innocence and create
our **** all your rules child.
We loved in a snow globe and
there's a Christ child waiting.

4 am we kids are on the stairs
eager to see our bounty in the
living room. We've waited all
year and we might explode if
Mom and Dad don't let us see.
I'll die for your secret garden
an entrance into Eden at last.
In tall grass we surrender our
precious virginity and create
our **** all your rules child.
We loved in a snow globe and
there's a Christ child waiting.

Nat King Cole, Sinatra,
Aluminum Christmas tree
lit by a color wheel's turns.
Too many sweets sick as can be.

Christmas time at Grandpa's
***** wife we called Mary.
Next year he dropped dead.
Funeral and then buried.

Mike and I kept him alive
voice recorded, blood stains
on a hanky, we found your
dentures, we your creations.

She said, Sobriety is bliss.
I said, At best it'***** or miss.
Confess your sins of neglect
don't forget to genuflect
get your sponsor's signature
for court ordered overture.
What drags you back to a bar?
You barely move, gone so far.
I'm just in a legal time out
'til bell dings drunk and shout.

She said, Sobriety is bliss.
I said, At best it'***** or miss.
Confess your sins of neglect
don't forget to genuflect
get your sponsor's signature
for court ordered overture.
What drags you back to a bar?
You barely move, gone so far.

Poets can't keep secrets. We're poets.
     We must express emotion no matter
     truth or consequence. We spill tears.
     We pen silent trembles in spatters
     scratch blame upon the pages like
     ancient scribes with prayers to rain
     upon unwashed masses and baptize
     you into the church of gracious pain.

Poets can't keep secrets. We're poets.
     We must express emotion no matter the
     truth or consequence. We spill tears.
     We ask for your heart and soul. We
     scratch blame upon a page like
     ancient scribes with prayers to rain
     upon the unwashed masses and baptize
     you into the church of gracious poets.

Is it Church or is it State?
A dollar short and day late.
Holy water incense.
Scientific nonsense.
Teachers ****** virginity.
Senators leave you drowned.
Presidents become be clowned.
Don't trust the Vicars
always in your knickers.
Don't you worry, Baby, just
hold onto these matches.
I have the gas can full
and a nuclear winter in
my secret laboratory.
I'll write the wedding
vows that stick this time.

Bring your casserole of jealously.
  Make your casserole of hate.
  Don't forget your desserts of envy
  so sweet the congregation eats it all.
  The fudge pudding from the bachelor
  is never left to take a portion home.
  The punch might have a little kick.
  Enjoy your sins on painful pews.

I am kind.
  I am cruel.
  I am loved
  and a fool.
  I am guilty.
  I am free.
  You'll find me
  suffering in
Cincinnati,
Ohio.

Circus 1944
                  body# 1565

  I was 9. The circus was coming that summer.
  It promised to bring life to the cornfields.
  4th of July. Circus matinee and evening
  fireworks!Daddy had it all planned out.
  Mama smelled pretty. Papa looked fancy.
  I wore my favorite white church dress.

  We were in the biggest tent I ever saw
  with people everywhere. Louder than
  anything I ever heard. I never felt like
  this. So much energy in so much space
  and my skin was electric, my eyes wide
  with the wonder of it all. Magical.

  It really was the Greatest Show on Earth!
  Girls swinging on trapeze and men balanced
  100 feet above us on a wire. Elephants huge
  powerful beasts tame as puppies on the farm.
  Clowns silly and mute and lovely made us laugh.
  It was heaven. We were suspended in a moment.

  I smelled smoke. I saw smoke and fire and panic.
  8000 people wanted out now. I wanted to see the
  fireworks in the dark. So many died. Animals died.
  Mama and Daddy died. They smelled like cooked meat.
  I died from smoke. I was found perfect in my dress.
  I'm unknown. I'm called body #1565. I love the circus.

I was 9. The circus was coming that summer.
  It promised to bring life to the cornfields.
  4th of July. Circus matinee and evening
  fireworks! Daddy had it all planned out.
  Mama smelled pretty. Papa looked fancy.
  I wore my favorite white church dress.

  We were in the biggest tent I ever saw
  with people everywhere. Louder than
  anything I ever heard. I never felt like
  this. So much energy in so much space
  and my skin was electric, my eyes wide
  with the wonder of it all. Magical.

  It really was the Greatest Show on Earth!
  Girls swinging on trapeze and men balanced
  100 feet above us on a wire. Elephants huge
  powerful beasts tame as puppies on the farm.
  Clowns silly and mute and lovely made us laugh.
  It was heaven. We were suspended in a moment.

  I smelled smoke. I saw smoke and fire and panic.
  8000 people wanted out now. I wanted to see the
  fireworks in the dark. So many died. Animals died.
  Mama and Daddy died. They smelled like cooked meat.
  I died from smoke. I was found perfect in my dress.
  I'm unknown. I'm called body #1565. I love the circus.

I was 9. The circus was coming that summer.
  It promised to bring life to the cornfields.
  4th of July. Circus matinee and evening
  fireworks!Daddy had it all planned out.
  Mama smelled pretty. Papa looked fancy.
  I wore my favorite white church dress.

  We were in the biggest tent I ever saw
  with people everywhere. Louder than
  anything I ever heard. I never felt like
  this. So much energy in so much space
  and my skin was electric, my eyes wide
  with the wonder of it all. Magical.

  It really was the Greatest Show on Earth!
  Girls swinging on trapeze and men balanced
  100 feet above us on a wire. Elephants huge
  powerful beasts tame as puppies on the farm.
  Clowns silly and mute and lovely made us laugh.
  It was heaven. We were suspended in a moment.

  I smelled smoke. I saw smoke and fire and panic.
  8000 people wanted out now. I wanted to see the
  fireworks in the dark. So many died. Animals died.
  Mama and Daddy died. They smelled like cooked meat.
  I died from smoke. I was found perfect in my dress.
  I'm unknown. I'm called body #1565. I love the circus.

We always saw you on our horizons.
We drank to your health and to ours.
We went to meetings and confessed
helplessness and drank bland coffee
and ate stale donuts and smoked
an endless chain of cigarettes.

I found my way back to my family
on bar stools and raucous laughter
with our dreams hiding in liquor's
fog. We live in the doldrums. Can
we ever know normal? I'll answer
when I've had a hair of the dog.

Sardines inside a subway car
Pickles packed inside the jar
Soldiers so close in a foxhole
Welfare office for the dole
A billion windows with a story
some of love or hate or glory
huddled masses in a dormitory
overwhelm every inventory.

I wander at 3 am in the city.
I can't sleep anymore.
I feel society's fingers on
my throat choking me silent.
I want to tell the world
about my little life that
means so much to me and
my generation. We sit on
a hill looking down on
the city lights and Howl.

I wander at 3 am in the city.
I can't sleep anymore.
I feel society's fingers on
my throat choking me silent.
I want to tell the world
about my little life that
means so much to me and
my generation. We sit on
a hill looking down on
the city lights and Howl.

We live huddled masses in the city
   working in skyscrapers like ants.
   We find lovers in the bars and make
   love up against alley walls and snort
   another line in a diner booth and
   consider it a New York date. Goodbye.

There's a Yankee ship coming down
our river. We surrendered but blood
is still wet and bad. We keep our rebel
flag flying. I'm 15 and hold my dead dad's
rifle proud with unsure courage today.
I saw the cannon smoke before the sound.
and it sent me to the promised land my
head was vaporized and then my body fell.

There's a giant coke spoon
in my cereal bowl today
we eat in silence and don't
know who started the fracas
last night. We slept separate.
Our 4 year old fell 53 floors
and left a broken heart in
a paper sack 8 miles high.

Just a clever weaver of words,
not a poet really just pretend.
I smoke and drink like geniuses
and chase my fame to its end.

I'm a forgone conclusion
    and an empty promise.
    My words fail to inspire.
    My loves are always lost.
    Trouble always finds me.
    Read between the lines and
    find the real me with you
    in my heart on my sleeve.

I'm a forgone conclusion
    and an empty promise.
    My words fail to inspire.
    My loves are always lost.
    Trouble always finds me.
    Read between the lines and
    find the real me with you
    inside my heart on my sleeve.

Clinton suicide
nowhere to hide
better decide
****** genocide
red rain dried
democracy died.

It bullies us constantly to
be at a place a specific time
God help us if we're late
no excuses it's a crime.
Seconds we race to please
the clock we fear wicked lies
it rules the fools we truly are.
We live and die like flies.

We live in days.
We die in seconds.
It's all the same on
the face of the clock.
Tracking each moment,
breath and heartbeat.
We enter time in charts
to make us matter.
Our lives are smudges
in the grand scheme.
tick and then tock
steal a vicar's frock.
Preach to the sheep
fleece them in sleep.

The minute hand crawls to 10
wonders what might have been
permission given to finally sleep
pray to god my soul to keep.

The second hand
drags its clock
hour glass sand
to our desert rock
ancient wind land.

Come closer into the light.
  I need to smell your beauty
  to quiet demons in my head.
  God's tears cleanse our souls.
  Come closer still, touch me,
  calm my tremors still my hands.
  Closer hold me closer and we'll
  transcend broken in our world.
  Dance closer, watch the stars.
  Hear death's music ever closer.

When the bar lights blink off and on
  last call announced half hour before
  we work the odds as drunken sailors.
  Singing sirens calling from the door.
  We waltz into the night rain then we
  ***** our naked way to the sacred bed.
  We love the best drunk strangers can.
  I wake in light a prisoner in my head.

When the bar lights blink off and on
  and last call announced half hour ago
  we calculate the odds as drunken sailors.
  The bar is full of sirens calling from shore.
  These beauties must've appeared recently
  cause I never saw them earlier. We take
  their measure and like dancers we choose
  partners and meet near the door and waltz
  away together into the night. We find our
  way to beds holding on to this life raft
  as desperate lovers often do. We love
  the best two drunk strangers can do.
  We wake in morning light blinking.
  We'll always do this dance again.

In the Hippie days
American destruction
by Columbia U ways
C and P instruction
brought us to knees
beat the middle class
poor take our keys
USA was a flash.

I've lived my life as a clown
  in a circus that is my own.
  Seltzer water and horns have
  robbed me of my dignity.
  There's still a piece left in
  a corner of the big top that
  is my mind. We love there
  dark naked and beautiful.

I enrolled in college
accepted in Clown U.
My parents are ecstatic.
I finally see their view.
Ivy League it's not but
I might get a 4 point O
join Cirque du Soleil
free tickets to the show.

I'm a clown dressed in a suit
in a circus tent on Wall Street.
We'll take sucker bets all day
and spin our webs all night.
You'll leap out windows and
we'll cash our chips and laugh.

I never meant to hurt you.
I'm just a clumsy lover.
Throw down your gun.
Don't be so reckless.
I hit the wrong hole and
didn't hear your screams.

5am we crowd in the rickety cage
   to take us down to hell's cold entry
   into the mines. We stoop and dig
   claws into the rock to drag coal
   into the carts we roll to a rich
   man's greed and we end our days
   in poor man bars swallowing the
   dust into our angry hearts where
   we keep score and wait for God.
   We sleep with our sacred wives.

5am we crowd in the rickety cage
   take us down to hell's cold entry
   into the mines. We stoop and dig
   claws into the rock to drag coal
   into the carts we roll to a rich
   man's greed and we end our days
   in poor man's bars swallow coal
   dust into our angry hearts keep
   score waiting for God's smite.
   We sleep with our sacred wives.

5 am we're in the cage.
It takes us a mile below
to grab the coal from Earth's
stubborn hold. We wage war
and explode it loose and gather
it in buckets like we do love.
We end the days in bars. We
drink our fill and sleep with
her, the reason we do it all.
She endures me like the mines.

Someone had to be the first
  to enter your shallow grave,
  steal Virginity, smell blood.
  Ever after my flag is planted.
  I'll never betray you. I promise.
  We'll live forever in a shanty
  clinging to a mountain of coal
  we'll birth miners. I promise.