My **** loves your need
Until you make it bleed
Giving up the baby seed
Done the final deed.

Soros gold bought
the world from God,
our souls from God
and morals and sins
and babies in wombs
and death camps to
keep numbers small
only enough for us all.
I think evil owns us now
maybe it always has
innocents stand against
walls blindfolded crying
with **** in their pants.
The world is dying in war
only smolders in defeat
the sheep can only bleat.

door creaking
**** leaking
not speaking
spiders loud
she is proud
reddish cloud
Moses flood
made of blood
killed by stud
fence post thud
left in mud
held a grudge
faced a judge
he was snubbed
Michael Wehrung
****** ward swearing
her blood wearing.

God's wrath struck the Joshua tree
   and reduced it to cremated ashes
   then let our world settle. Let it be.
   We watched it in lightening flashes.
   We live in angry desert cactus scrub
   hidden branches of the poison creosote
   where the only touch is death's rub.
   We just grow colder without antidote
   join our bodies on this unmarked dune.
   The stars are your bright eyes above.
   I stare at your beauty in a full moon.
   Wind is a final breath our dying love.

A picture from a thousand kisses ago.
We were so in love full of desire we
knew would last forever. We are always.
Until we aren't. What broke besides
our hearts? We never understood. We
just blamed boredom and each other.

A picture from a million kisses ago.
Older and wiser we still broke our
bed and didn't miss a beat. We were.
Then one day we found others to break
more beds and lost sight of love. ****
was what we did. Until we didn't bother.

A picture of me on my 90th. Wrinkled
and alone in assisted living with a
cupcake and candle and little cardboard
birthday hat aching for youth and
beaches and bars and young lovers
again to break more ******* beds.

I walk the streets with a poet's heart
looking for laughter or desperation
I can scratch or type into poems
I choose to name my inspiration.
We crazy poets ride the night train
screaming lines of vague insanity
I break the wild words like horses
and put them on pages of my vanity.
I was born with a poet's heart.

I stopped believing in
Santa and Tooth Fairy
Easter Bunny  and God
and the government.
All I believe in now
is Death's certainty.

He reminds me of me at 10
  best of intentions and trust
  a world that hasn't had time
  to **** a spirit and hope yet
  I'm not that cynical. I'm 72
  still love women at a distance
  and dream young boy dreams
  where we dance all night in
  7th grade with dark beautys'
  desires I never understood.

Intervention

I've been in the deep end
too long to ever get back
to shallows and G&T's.
The only ending is black.
Carnival lights blind me
I'll drown in an overdose
last thoughts are of you
before you got too close.

I slip out your backdoor
like a drunk love ghost.
Irish leave hurts more
but I always need it most.
I hate forever goodbyes
filled with forever lies.

There's a space between us
we can never quite reach.
You're Mars and I'm Venus
opposites we'll never breach.
Shine on my broken heart
beckon in the blackest dark
Fire the gun. Race will start.
Keep score with a check mark.

Until everything is revealed
  truth is clear in blind clarity
  no hope left for false charity
  JFK ****** is finally unsealed
  scales fall from eyes DC condemned
  Dulles CIA Hoover FBI in chains
  can't ever remove all the stains
  inside the beltway ashes remains.

It shatters worlds
it won't touch me
I remain free as
will my family
1916 tears hearts
and friends apart
we need a restart
bombs guns fires
more needless dead
inside your head.
The troubles flame
always the same.
Horrible violence.
Horrible silence.

To be or not to be?
   I paint a black halo around
   your blond hair at midnight
   while you hide the moon from
   me and I wonder at your games.
   It's all intense; music, acid,
   *******, the beautiful things
   I've known, but  not seen lately
   We wait naked in the dark for
   dawn's first vague glimpse of
   love in our eyes. We stare blind
   and reach into the dark for lovers.

I sold my soul for a woman before.
  I turned my back on love for lust,
  a black heart tarnished white knight.
  I want you so badly now. I can't trust
  wild haired beauty singing from rocky
  shores draws me ever closer every night.
  I'm no saint. I've starved for years and
  smell your feast hungering for a bite.  
  I feel death's cold breath on my neck
  strokes gift firework showers of light.
  I'm old and set in ways like a statue.
  I'm safe tucked away for the night.

We found love on a blanket in the park.
   The river ran backward while the moon
   fell from the night sky into the creek
   where it rocked gently in the breeze.

   At that instant that was timeless
   we raised the dead and cured the sick.
   We brought nations together in peace.
   I fell into you and rocked in the breeze.

I arrived on time
through tiny slit
of slickest slime
***** a tiny bit.

Mail us c/o the Bar.
          We'll be sure to get it.
          Closest thing to family
          we've ever known.
          We're nervous wrecks
          self medicating staying
          steady as the Titanic.
          We cry in our beers
          confess all our sins
          drink our own tears.

Scammed as I could be
you picked my pocket
while you set me free
exploded my rocket.

We wed in the snow
   divorced in the rain.
   The enemy you know
   embrace her in pain.
   We were soul mates,
   shared beating heart.
   Lust betrayed fates.
   Love played a part.

I've been on your cross
nailed impaled beaten
I never felt your loss
you in my mouth eaten.

Between the trenches of war among the
    shell holes and pieces of men strewn about
    there is a patch of grass untouched to
    remind us of good old days in pubs where
    we shared pints with one another and spoke
    of the excitement of war's engagement how
    we scatter the enemy and in a month plant
    our flag on a hill of their blood and bones.

I remember your touch and I hunger
like the night we became us on the
back stairs as the party faded away
into white noise and my heart beat
into yours and I knew my world just
fell to pieces and broken promises
and broken children were here.
I relive it one second at a time.
I still look for you everywhere
to find our back stairs again.

Early evenings he was a hoot.
In his cups beers and butts
another cheap shot to shoot
aimed at pretty bar stool *****.

Hungover monster at 6 am
angry at the entire universe
God and Satan great amen
hair of the dog cures a curse.

beware the dreamers
keep their souls
locked in chains

beware the workers
they will march in
unison to take a share

beware the lawyers
who set you on fire and
charge to **** on you

beware the poets
who seek purity
truth at all cost

I want to write the poem
you always quote to impress
friends at Hampton parties
and read to your children
so they understand why this
whole mad spinning life is
worth the price of admission.
We might be born in a manger.
We might be Mary Magdalen.
We might be a million peasants.
Nobody will ever remember a
million peasants. We know Christ.

I broke the fragile promises
that you could never keep.

I will try to tell you about a real me.
I'm not sure I know that version I see.
I love and hate. I always have a bottle and pen
in my hands. The days get shorter and nights
go on forever. I sleep getting used to death's
black infinity. Memories betray my surrender.
Black and white dreams replay my silent movies.
I wake to life's burdens another day. Until I don't.

Sing these poems silent
make them your song
feelings always spent
right a certain wrong.

BJ

first boy born
into your mad carnival
of French clowns and
angry war torn fathers
stern German granny and
carnival barkers who
promise salvation while
drunk strangers pass me
around like a flask
feeling almost full and
time just gets away from us
while years pass like seconds.

the time it is a coming
the end is getting near
guitar strings strumming
the sorry sound of fear
I die without last breath
nobody notices or cares
body burned in an oven
cremains in a cheap jar
destined for our Heaven.

We prepare ourselves
  for blood and screams
  and smoke machines
  old men chasing dreams
  live beyond our means
  bursting at the seams
  float our money schemes
  nothing as it seems.

The wound is the place
where the truth enters
into blood's bright grace
creates 99% dissenters.
To vax or not to vax
destroy civilization
never the mob relax
hope for realization.

My fat veins beg for serenity
forgiveness from a syringe
for all of eternity
living on the strange
edge of life never a slave
a script played out
audience never forgave
death full of serene doubt.

"I love you"
"****"
"I quit"
"Don't worry
it will fit"
"I promise
it won't hurt"
"Forever"
"I want a divorce"
"You don't understand"
"She gets me"
"I'm sorry"
"It's not you"
"It's me"

I've used substances to balance my tilt.
     Smokes, beer, wine, ****** and Xanax.
     They've helped me to stay in the lines.
     I chose to ignore the rules and live on
     a pinball machine with frenetic energy.
     All I want is a drug to bring me back
     to this earth where I began the journey.
     Please take these cravings from my mind.
     The Chemists come up with carnival rides.
     Up and down and everywhere in between,
     Coney Island madness in their tiny pills.
     Bring me back from this life on Mars.

What a mishmash of the mismatched.
Potpourri of abandoned people in
search of connection. Singles' groups,
Parents without partners, church socials
and bars where all ye' abandon all hope.
Wait for last call and the dark corner
where the final pitch is made and you
follow a stranger as a stranger to his
bed and desperately ride a mirage to
an elusive satisfaction. Sickly morning
escape, vague promises of phone calls.
Happy ending always just out of reach.

She wears red **** Me heels.
   Dance, your hands love that woman,
   always swaying to her siren song.
   Go home at dawn and climb in bed
   with the owner of your heart and
   hold her flesh and blood to yours.

I'm drunk enough to drink
a toast to my own demise
no fear no time to think
death comes no surprise.

The Final Chapter

I thought I was a boy
runs in summer grass
no classes freedom joy
my lifetime is near pass.
I don't know death's
ugly end of my life
shortness of breaths
hatred of my ex wife.

The dog who knew silence
the man who knows shame
the screaming violence
self hatred always came.
Years gone I never forget
cruel madness blind light
my sadness true regret
the noose forever tight.

Cousin Mike more than a brother over years.
You had *** at 14. I kissed them made them cry.
Wyoming was roaming with eager wet tears.
You broke our hearts and used ***** to die.

And death shall have no dominion
Dylan Thomas - 1914-1953

And death shall have no dominion.
Dead men naked they shall be one
With the man in the wind and the west moon;
When their bones are picked clean and the clean bones gone,
They shall have stars at elbow and foot;
Though they go mad they shall be sane,
Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;
Though lovers be lost love shall not;
And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.
Under the windings of the sea
They lying long shall not die windily;
Twisting on racks when sinews give way,
Strapped to a wheel, yet they shall not break;
Faith in their hands shall snap in two,
And the unicorn evils run them through;
Split all ends up they shan't crack;
And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.
No more may gulls cry at their ears
Or waves break loud on the seashores;
Where blew a flower may a flower no more
Lift its head to the blows of the rain;
Though they be mad and dead as nails,
Heads of the characters hammer through daisies;
Break in the sun till the sun breaks down,
And death shall have no dominion.

I've run a thousand miles at least.
Am I running to or from I wonder?
Am I chasing youth? Do I run from years?
I run from promises I made and I run
to lovers to make more pinky swears.
I will run until I die inside your heart.

It scares me how you turn
your face into a wall
how you rip your ears off
when I call
You turn your lips to stone
when I try to kiss you when I fall
in love with you and kneel at your
feet with ****** knees after I crawl
your just an old wrinkled crow almost
forgotten except for your distant caw.

shifty eyed, *** covering bureaucrats,
   everybody knows 'bout the Beltway bubble,
   the plague is here and now, ****** USA
   $50 buys a loaf of bread and pint of *****
   and votes enough to steal any election
   print monopoly money, kiss Soro's *** and
   take a slice of American Pie 'fore it's gone
   read this fast before it dies in a gulag.

I just want to go home
  and die in peace alone.
  In my bed and pillows,
  not the sterile gallows.
  My Quincy cat will purr.
  I give treats. I hold her.
  She sees me with one eye
  and purrs loudly as I die.

I won't burden you with advice
from an old man still lost as ever.
I swam against the current.
Don't do that. You will though
because you have my blood.
Trust your gut for guidance.
Be kind to everyone and you
will find love in the shadows.

God, I have to ****
don't let me miss
I pray to be on time.
Need a good night kiss.

Day to day
in every way
death on shoes
brain of *****
ants and gnats
Batman's bats.
Electrocute flies
and white lies.
Truth threshed
stretched flesh
on my crying
eyes Q is dying.