Kids say swear words,
  smell sweet girl hair
  I never knew before.
  Susan Tucker was my
  first confusing kiss
  loved forever more.

In summer's tall green grass
  we planned our picnic hidden
  from God's all seeing eye
  to hide our secret forbidden
  we gave our virginity away
  as one at the altar of blood
  radio troubadour serenaded
  our marriage baptized flood.

The full moon fills my window.
  Worries bounce around my brain
  like pinball's on gravity flight.
  I wait for a sunrise judgement.
  Where will death's gavel land?
  Inside a Savior's morning light.

Perfume is dizzy in diesel zippers
gorgeous ******* beauty strippers
choose carefully from the menu
men or fem boys or indoor venue
stripper poles lap dances and more
inputs outputs old fashion *****?
Drain and fill your tanks before
you drive off for another hour.

I've been breathing the fumes
of child abuse in dark rooms
full of innocent mushrooms
suffering through full moons.

Forever the journey takes
from our  birth to a death
full of love and mistakes
like a movie at last breath.

Loved and hated the same
always tears at the wake
there's never any blame
for all the living's sake.

I want to be 16 again
looking for mortal sin
Catholic girls' willing
to spend God's shilling
to forgive the 'shoulds',
naked in Winton Woods.

Everyone I've laughed with
and parted ways awhile
I laugh at every memory
I miss you with a smile.

I'll weave words
into a quilt of who
and not forget what
time demands when
point the map where
***** explains why.

We're embryos in a prison, no escape.
  Released after serving 9 months inside.
  Finally on the outside in a searchlight;
  aliens grab for me while I cry in terror.

  Time passes and I'm allowed to join peers.
  Daycare is where we compare notes and learn
  about wardens keeping us from our freedom.
  We pinky swear allegiance to our new cause.

  We are imprisoned in elementary school and
  bored to a death sentence. Cursive, add, subtract,
  multiply and divide. Memorization of everything.
  History is reduced to indoctrination. God save us.

  Middle school is blemished skin and puberty at
  odds with one another. Let's get close. Eww!
  Cliques are the prison gangs. You belong or not.
  We take care of our own and you can go to hell.

  High School is the big house. ****, nerd or normal.
  There's a special cruelty reserved for "losers".
  Those are people different from established groups.
  They're prey to be driven to their own demise.

  College is the great escape. Finally on our own.
  We can drive our own lives wherever we want.
  Study and obey the rules, or party every night.
  No middle ground. **** the torpedoes!

  I enter the work force. I'm an associate at Target.  
  I'm tethered by a walkie talky.  We're drones.
  I feel like I'm a cog with a target on my back.
  I marry a coworker and we serve time together.

  We raise a family of prisoners and near the end
  when our health is waning, I go into the garage
  and put a hose from the exhaust into my window,
  and finally find my way out of Alice's Wonderland.

Stephen Dunn is dead at 82.
He captured life on the page
in lines I felt when I was 42
heart's know nothing of age.

Valentine in his shirt pocket
suffered from Love's black kiss
used to be its favorite neglect.
It's always been a hit or miss.

I'm shadows
of the gallows
from long ago
carnival show
our cold sheet
yearns for heat.

I thought you loved me
the same way I loved you.
I was just a piece of ***
after a beer or maybe two.
Always a broken heart
right beneath the surface
falls through thin ice.
We always pay a price.

When I grew into my ball's
puberty I drank a first beer.
I puked that night on walls.
Then I knew how to steer
my own course in my life.
I know right from wrong
I know songs of *****'s
from Ulysses's shores
blinded by the sun light
in never ending night.

If I could bring you
close enough to my heart
where you could hear
the universe's tiny start

you might just forgive
my appetite for lust
my passive aggressive
lack of anyone's trust.

Revolution
  We seeded discontent
  increased the angry want.
  We butchered our oppressors
  became the new expresses
  we were elite suppressors
  buried unwashed confessors
  called it the flip of a coin.
  Queen, off with their heads.
  The sheep survived and join
  Reds starve them no breads.

The ****** pooled their money
given the judge for his honey
to allow for all proper society
to recognize their re-virginity.

I found parts of me
inside my poetry
I could never see
in strange reality.

I heard about this all my life.
It existed like Easter Bunny
or winning the lottery
or time versus infinity.
I knew it would come
as night meets the sun.

If I knew how to live a life
my daughter would talk to me.
She left me dead like a ghost.
Neither of us can actually be
the best of ourselves the most
forgiving. Please set us free.

I love everyone.
Hate has no room here.
The world is full of sun.
Hide the hidden fear.

Slit a throat
stab a heart
sacrifice a goat
just do your part

kiss Christ's cheek
mark of the beast
just don't be weak
celebrate the feast.

Love is slippery full of lies.
I hear promises feel your heat
seduction into my secret garden.
Feast on my sacred ****** treat.

You drank too much sorrow
choke in sleep by tomorrow
overnight we had a fight
you took your final flight.

Is there anything I can do
to fix the broken to you?
I always loved you most
you were the first ghost.

The body is buried
the life lived carried
to dumpster on a street
trash the shell's defeat.

I don't know me anymore.
Am I a monster galore or
lover's I always bought
without a second thought?

She's a spur in my saddle
  a boil on my ***
  drive 10 hours rattle
  heart attack just gas

  to any question asked
  recites her biography
  point to pain for me
  I was born by the sea

  she's stone in my shoe
  she just wants to die
  I hate to disappoint,
  just can't say goodbye.

I have reached an age
without another page
pay an obscene wage
shouting more rage
on my silent stage
death's final gauge.

I say that lie, but I care
for everyone everywhere.

Your name is so near
my old failing brain
I know we made love
naked in summer rain.
Betsy or Kathy or Jayne,
Georgine or Lorraine?
Soft golf course grass
13th hole water hazard
drunk love piece of ***.

Now or later or never?
Died in forever after?
Death ever ending lever
pulled in loud laughter.

Does it matter
blood splatter
fingers of blame
in ashes of flame.
Lover's arrows
land in crows
frightened flights
drunk midnight's
wake up in rain
watercolor stain.

Life is Blink of an Eye

       I was born through time and space
       landed in this crazy bright place
       furious at light and white beasts
       with no faces but ******* and feces.
      
       I lived parts dealt me rich or poor.
       Bully or bullied Methadone *****.
       AA and AlAnon LGBTQ and straight.
       I always struggled most with weight.

       I had visions through time and space
       in Hospice in Morphine dreams place
       light's candle abandoned the living
       accepting a blink of eye forgiving.

Life to death
are bookends to
our story lived,
Birth to Burial.

The more I read poetry
It seems like obituary.
Death in a coal mine
of the innocent canary.
Let us say what needs
to be said finally.

A spark when lover's
love lights the wick
that makes another's
heart begin to tick.

We never talked of pleasure.
  It was always buried treasure.
  Marriage was a woman pure
  as a ****** bride to endure.
  Bette home on John's Island
  she finally made her stand.
  Took her kids and left behind
  his ashes they'll never find.

The sky burst open in a flood
with angry thunder all about
the booming voice of God
whispers in light no doubt.

My dogs needed walking.
We went forth and waded
ankle deep in a flowing
sense of time long faded.

1812 Overture is War's glory
I picked up the dogs' ****
I had to write this story
Tchaikovsky demanded it!

Call or text your special needs.
  Wheelchair to your hollow knees?
  **** her oyster desert dry
  as you break your heart to cry.
Pay the price for what it's worth
empty vessel killed at birth.

The sky's so clear
  in the atmosphere
  stars perch on a tree
  caged birds set free
  my mind takes flight
  into the cold night
  an old lover beckons
  naked in the street
  I'll chase her heat
  I saw her in a window
  her curly hair in a bow
  when I just can't feel
  what's dream or real
  my dogs walk me home.
  I still dream alone.

I do not think there's any time
to worry of End times rhyme
or Eve's betrayal of raw greed.
Lucifer planted her ugly seed.

We live hardscrabble lives.
  We own fierce tribal prides.
  We court at our barn dances.
  Music is magic love trances.
  Spiked punch gone to heads,
  we dance to our wedding beds.

I chase truth like I
bark chase my tail
in the **** camps
air was so rare
I feel your pain
Thanks for service
humans destroyed
none unscathed
after the "Peace"
a million babies
of wars desperate
need for lovers
breathed carrion
drinking Tang
for Astronauts.

My matter doesn't matter
it can be anything at all
Mom calling me to supper
or her burial in the Fall.
Maybe it's my stupor
waiting for Clarion Call.
I saw my stars in dreams
while from a sea we crawl.

It's always the same answer.
Whats wrong do you know?
Just rare expensive cancer.
Best chance killer chemo,
a snake charmer dancer
or a card from the Tarot.

My heart bleeds
Love's old scars,
planted sad seeds
in a sky of stars.

She left me a long time ago.
  I found her ****** in a crack
  under the bed overlooked cargo.
  If I knew where I'd send 'em back.

Valentine bleeds inside my shirt.
Mother's day celebrate kids' hurt.
Saint Pat's day just ****** Sunday.
July 4 fireworks scare us to pray.

Dead and alive I see
needle marks my arms
how can this even be?
I always want charms
needles point's womb
I die and live again
like Christ in a tomb
one more shot of sin.