Our lives grow up around us built
    from debris near at hand. Beer,
    laughs, anger, *****, *****, tears,
    shame, coffee, job, lust, ***, love,
    marriage, kids, dog, house, debt, day
    after day, separation just a prelude
    to divorce, child support, paycheck
    to paycheck, kids on odd days, odd
    lovers in weird spaces, gray hair,
    AA, church, bars, DUI, court, AA,
    kids on even days, ex moves on and
    marries, downsized, severance pay,
    coast for a few months, broke,
    evicted, rent an attic, read
    poems, write poems, smoke, drink,
    my life grows up around me.

My mother slammed her Gavel down screamed *******!
    You're nothing more than a renegade sinner reprobate!
    I had no recourse. I was at mom's mercy. She sentenced me
    to face the executioner, my father's brutal temper to see.
    Dad would be home at 3 to mete out lashings by his belt.
    Growing up I told the shrinks the history of every welt.
    I've spent too much of my life wary of women with lips
    who held behind their backs brutal wicked devil's whips.

Remember when we played
tongue twister on a dare
the rogue night we were saved
we made our vows pinky swear.

I Pearl Harbored my family
we moved into deliverance
I was ****** too blind to see
the certainty of death's dance.

Drunk as a baboon
under a full moon
I walk the wild  dogs
a pack of wild hogs
drag me near mad
I curse them as bad
I stumble and fall
they lick my jaw
and they pull me up
pup by pup by pup.

I hadn't heard from you awhile.
They said you put me in exile.
Shave my head and castrate me
I'll never make you again to be.

No use to cry
or give up die
hide in sight
take last flight
to Alaska rage
big Anchorage
Captain Cook
Hotel just book
for End Times
of Human kinds.
BYOB and food
don't leave room.

The pagan sun
fierce at noon
cool at midnight
God's full moon
dusk bugs light
captured in a jar
killed in flight
in children's war.

I have a poet's vision
rhyme your flaws
with laser precision.
Many poets have claws.
Suckle poem's milk
it means everything.
Just wear your **** silk,
careful what you bring.

I died when I agreed
to fight USA's enemy.
CIA counts me dead
I'd rather live instead.

Left or right near the brink
doesn't matter what I think.
I lose a daughter to TDS.
CNN is her bent goddess.
She's dead to me forgot.
Fruit from my tree to rot.

Anger is our superpower.
  It always seethes just below
  the surface. Never forgotten
  or forgiven it's the constant
  strength moving time onward
  to next chapters 'til the end.

Last Train Home
by John Mayer


     If you wanna roll me
Then you gotta roll me all night long
And if you wanna use me
Then you gotta use me 'til I'm gone

[Chorus]
I'm not a fallen angel, I just fell behind
I'm out of luck and I'm out of time
If you don't wanna love me, let me go
I'm runnin' for the last train
I'm runnin' for the last train home

[Verse 2]
If you wanna know me
Then you gotta know me through and through
And if you're gonna hurt me
Then you gotta hold me next to you

[Chorus]
No matter how you work it, things go wrong
I put my heart where it don't belong
So if you're comin' with me, let me know
Maybe you're the last train
Maybe you're the last train home?

Stop This Train
John Mayer
[Outro]
I'm on the last train runnin'
I'm on the last train runnin'
And I surrender, and I surrender
I'm on the last train runnin'
I'm on the last train runnin'
And I surrender, and I surrender
I'm on the last train runnin'
I'm on the last train runnin'
And I surrender, and I surrender
I'm on the last train runnin'
I'm on the last train runnin'
And I surrender, and I surrender
Oh-yeah
Oh-uh-uh-uh

I'd like to be considered
a '***** Old Man' until further notice,
unless I have a stroke or die or worse
vote for Woodrow Wilson again!

I'm just your ******
use me 'til I'm gone.
I'm your ******* snow
snort me 'til you blow
your useless brains out
with a shot silent shout!

Breaking *****
  and protocols
  **** all the rules
  ignore the  fools
  under the radar
  meet in the bar
  toast to the fun
  good guys won.

Birthday cake's on fire.
I'd **** for some desire.
Blue pill's too risky
for me to get frisky.
Take matters in hand
make a flaccid stand.
Play out jammed gun
sleep without a ***.

I drink wine from the box not the bottle.
     My empties are very functional. I make
     chairs to sit in alone for happy hour.
     Beds to sleep alone in case I can't atone.
     Dog house to be alone in when you're angry.
     Walls between us too tall to ever surmount.
     Even my own coffin hot as hell herself.
     I could never build a bridge back home.

Thunder
fear and wonder
lighting
blind frightening
flood
from above.

Dodged a bullet called life.
So beautiful. Just shattered
fine crystal. Bloodied hands.
We all act as if it mattered.
We protest in graveyards cry
blood tears for tiny abortion
boy or girl we never know now
just another mistaken *******.

It eats us up and spits us out.
Life is God's broken machine
addicts prostitutes for drugs.
Will we be able to get clean?

I need a needle to feel numb.
We all walk with the wounded
we die inside no man's land
always felt like we intruded.

I'm in the zone
between perverted
and in confession to
finally be converted

What a splendid place you are,
spaces, smells and tastes galore.
I've been everywhere in my mind
I'm Helen Keller and I'm blind.
I see more than you might think.
Remember each time you blink.

I drove the 57 Chevy
family station wagon
to my first real date
to the posh East side
too fast don't be late.
Met mom and dad
she liked my cologne
hasty exit to be alone
so we could be bad
bench seats our bed
puzzle bra distressed
I calmed as I was fed
inches in secret garden
we screamed as we bled.

Crossing Texas I hear
a voice on my AM radio
sounded like my grandpa.
A comfort to hear truth
of DC's gaslight gigolos.
He faded in the thunder.
I turned the dial all day
looking for his wonder.

I hide the truth
swear the lies are true
gaslight my vows
swore an oath to you

Now I'm gonna' **** you
drag life from the bone
flesh feeds the buzzards
we all end up alone.

I travel forever to the end of time
leave a spy glass inside this rhyme
I fell for you in a newsreel at 10
brave and boyish I fell in love then.
You were always on my distant horizon
but the yearning was always poison.
Amelia, you disappeared from sight,
broke a million hearts that night.
You were my constant north star
always so close and yet so very far.

I finally felt at home in a womb
  safe against a hostile world. I had
  a radio and listened to Boston's
  Classical station I read The People's
  Almanac and smoked Parliaments and
  drank 15 beers and faced ugly truths.
  I dreamed I was an evil Communist.
  I watched rich toast and poor starve
  under the same stars our same sky
  we're all born, live and we all die.

I'll give you food
I'll give you water
I'll share my bed
you steal covers
I shiver at night
you snore and
gift silent farts
walk you drunk
pick up your ****
married my dog.

Memories are time past.
Dream's tomorrow time.
Death happens so fast
no reason no rhyme.

Always welcome door
rich but mostly poor
come for the thrills
but run for the hills
fastest way to leave
a body bag I believe.

Swirled madness of starry nights
I was born in fierce celestial fights
cells attract and repel love and hate
I never want you again can't wait.

A **** Pope
Lynching rope
Candy dope
Cancer soap.
Drunk talker
Kid's stalker.

I know life matters
except road splatters
and children eaten
and cruelly beaten
blood and tears
rivers of fears.

We're all strangers to everyone.
Married are both in bed strangers.
My mind is mine alone locked away
from every soul floats from dangers.
Fantasy sets fire to my fierce heart
throbbing for a stranger on the bus
who makes me hard in diesel dreams
I enter your Eden for both of us.

I'm old and play
my final hand.
No words to say.
Silence the band.
Show me the way
hold my bone hand
on judgement day.

I was so tanned
ocean salt hair
wind blown sand
prisoner's stare
I bled into a wave
sharks showed teeth
guards dug my grave.
My heart I bequeath.

Folks are butchered like meat
in buckets overflow with blood.
Friends and family might defeat
the Chinese Communist flood.
Greed bought America's core.
Billionaires bought God's soul.
Like pirates from a long time
ago they stole Him whole.

Runner's High

The first time was sanctified
forever after was mystified
I'm still running until I died.
Bury me with my Nike's.

razor's edge
too sharp
to think
penthouse
don't jump
might awake
from dreams
die in trash
rats eat me
when I crash.

God, I have to ****
don't let me miss
I pray to be on time.
Need a good night kiss.

I made you beg again
for my tiny treasure.
Gold by the ounce sin.
Never mind a measure.

One more glass of wine
  this time machine moves
  before you killed a liver.
  We'll laugh until we cry.

  Morning kills our reverie.
  Now awake in tears again.
  I'll never forgive your
  weak end of the journey.

I'm just one in a million
broken heart gazillion.
I just ache never bleed
burning for your need.

We grabbed each other shamelessly at movies.
   Weeks swimming in bed never coming up for air.
   Eating was not important. *** was all consuming.
   I'm sorry you stopped being the woman I married.
   I'm sorry I stopped being the man you married.
   The air came out of the balloon. The wood rotted.
   Time always has its way with our sacred myths.
   We are stunned when our love withers on a vine.

8 Ducklings through Mom
are enough to astound.
6 Alcott Lane, Greenhills.
Winton Woods playground.
Christmas Terry loved a TV
I loved Beach boy record
Kevin loved math books
we shared Umbilical Cord.

Scammed as I could be
you picked my pocket
while you set me free
exploded my rocket.

Empathetic. Tear stains.
  Heart afire and broken.
  Youth. Broke vows. Broke
  family. Round the drain.
  Angel saved me. Broke her
  heart. Angels saved me.
  Broke their hearts. Devil
  saved me. Broke her heart.
  Queen Jayne saved me as
  stars in our dark night
  alone together we do it
  til we create new light.
We named her Bailey.
She shines so bright!

Those who did the deadly deeds
are now as dead as poison weeds.
Truth will always out finally
then we learn the true history.
CIA and FBI and Dulles brothers
and LBJ and J Edgar. Many others.

I first saw you in a treatment chair.
   Forgive my honest catatonic stare
   and my ****** up childhood prayer.
   Am I dead? Why do I see you there?
   Dead on a cross in your underwear
   strapped down I can't kneel I swear.

Never live or die
just disappear fly
too fast to splatter
too small to matter.