The Final Chapter

I thought I was a boy
runs in summer grass
no classes freedom joy
my lifetime is near pass.
I don't know death's
ugly end of my life
shortness of breaths
hatred of my ex wife.

Who am I
Truth or lie
Do or die
Laugh or cry
Hello or bye
*** or deny
One more final try
Catcher in the Rye.

Cold beds hot hearts
neglected garden dies
Hot hearts hot beds
Eden's garden thrives.

I swear broken promises for
entry to your secret garden
I stab your heart once more
and once again beg pardon.

Born into baffling worlds
With double edged swords
Marching from birth to death
Fighting life to the final breath.

I'd nail my madness to the tracks going West
   seeking freedom wearing a Dandy's NY vest.
   How long can we endure the vastest unknown?
   **** Indians and Buffalo and bury us in stone.