When it came it surprised me how quickly it was done.
   I expected the end to take some time, maybe a little drama.
   Within an instant I went from cutting grass to being a bit
   piece of some enormous, all knowing energy. Overwhelmed.

   I was no longer me.  I was everything that had ever lived!
   Plant, animal, microbe, every thought ever thought, every
   feeling ever known from every world that ever was.  Each
   blade of grass screaming when cut down in its prime.

   I thought wars would be the most horrible of all, but
   it happened to be the personal cruelties visited upon
   cells by cancerous bullies who cared only for themselves.
   Life is hoarded by all.  Only the strong will survive.

Sleep in a stranger's bed
2 days later head and crotch
magic lover's itch instead
of marriage down a notch.

He found my need and fed it.
I'm an empty vessel in a shroud.
A thousand ****** kept me calm.
I died for you to make you proud.

I'm just another trophy to make
me lifelike with glass blue eyes
convincing color of the skin and I
promise I'll keep safe all the lies.

You'll laugh at my dad jokes
and Camo Crocs I wear.
Laugh out loud and cry
have a baby name her Bill.
I'm living in your memory
I'm the flower and butterfly.

I start looking for night at noon
   in dark bars searching on bar stools.
   I couldn't sleep in a raging sea of a
   thousand clowns and useless fools.
   I live in asylums' promises of hope.
   The storm is coming for us all again.
   Find a home find a harbor an anchor
   find a God who will forgive that sin.

I don't know where I am
this vast wilderness my life.
I starve for your touch again,
instead I feel your knife.

Are you soft or are you hard?
Are you in or are you out?
What says your Tarot card?
All that's certain is doubt.

Outside my front door
the world dies in war.
It evaporated everyone
exfoliated life is done.
Blow my mind away, Son.
I know god is now gone.