You glowed at first then sweat
  your body beautiful now a regret
  for this ******* life of my squirt
  this is how you hide the hurt
  baggy dresses and wine at noon
  sleeping alone inside your room.

I'll bring my wounded heart.
I know you'll bring yours.
We're both old soldiers
been through many tours.

I cover me in doubt's blanket
keeps me warm against fake it.
True or false who to trust now?
Lust's gravity's birth's plow

Every part of me recycled
into flies, maggots and dirt.
Give back all that made me
from my fathers lust squirt.

Mom's heavy lifting pregnant.
Her piles, puke and constipated
the zygotes don't know or care.
One day they'll be cremated.

55 years ago Mark shared
our secret desires fires
we ****** on back stairs
at Swallen's party pyres.

Borrowed a Fat guy bed
where we got his strife
Lust pretended Love.
Abandoned my life.

I could've been at his deathbed. Maybe offered
      some solace and comfort and sent him off
      with a proper "God's speed"!
      I Declined an Invitation to My Father's Death.
      I might've played right into his hands and now
      guilt plagues me as I listen to sad songs and
      write sad poetry and hope I remember to call my son
      tomorrow so that maybe he'll be at my death bed.

Time is flat
A Carousel
ride forever
a life I dwell.
No heaven
just reruns
live it again
the same sin.