For the dead the wars are done.
The dead's pets will not atone.
Chemo's foul stench won't become
roll dice to see who gets a bone.

I lived in the loneliness
with beers and smokes
look for perfect mistress
watch **** with strokes.

Where did I go wrong?
I went to a crowded bar.
Strangers hum the song
yearning only goes so far.

Life's a puff of smoke and chaos
    and a breeze that makes it clear,
    an endless walk towards endless.
    We fall in step then we disappear
    
     in a lost rhythm sometime after.
    Memory is fallen wires snaking
    in the rain, deadly in its clarity.
    We start it through fear shaking

    and end it down a rabbit hole that
    takes us through a looking space.
    Hungry man snake pulses inside
    the waiting Snowdrop ****** vase.

I will follow you
to the peace tree
where you jeer
and hang me.
I dared to say
forbidden word
Capital N
and bigger.

what road defeats me?
what breath my last?
what walls my prison?
what tale is my past?
who's left to remember?
who's going to care?
who will light a candle?
who will shed the tear?

Youth's ignorance neglects
grey old men and kissing
women nursed their parents
1930 yearbook is missing.
Listen as they whisper a
warning to live for today
for tomorrow we all die.
Class pictures on display.

I've used substances to balance my tilt.
     Smokes, beer, wine, ****** and Xanax.
     They've helped me to stay in the lines.
     I chose to ignore the rules and live on
     a pinball machine with frenetic energy.
     All I want is a drug to bring me back
     to this earth where I began the journey.
     Please take these cravings from my mind.
     The Chemists come up with carnival rides.
     Up and down and everywhere in between,
     Coney Island madness in their tiny pills.
     Bring me back from this life on Mars.