I sleep tonight inside
a grave of my creation.
So cold no way to hide
silent the dead nation.

I'm searching my heart
looking for our start
where love had birth
she gave true worth
to our fiction love
wingless black dove.

It's just me. I can't be you.
You are sunset. I'm morning dew.
I haunt you but you evict me.
You live in my bones for free.
Love is the harshest mistress
wearing the smallest dress.

We always die in first class.
Roomy, free drinks and ****.
Just the best, perfect teen ***,
seats perfect leather unworn.
Teenage lovers in tall grass
plant our seed to be reborn.

A minute ago I walked for miles with
her in the stroller. She let me rest
at all the playgrounds with swings.
Snow falling on her face was the best.
I read her to sleep at bed time
and answered endless questions why
did the prince always kiss her awake
from endless sleep and she didn't die?
I told her I wouldn't always be here.
The white horses and ice palace melt.
You have to love yourself as much as
I do. Stand strong feel how we felt.

I'm on a cusp of life or death.
     Not quick like suicide, more
     subtle.  Life's habits can be
     harsh on these bodies we've been
     gifted.  Treat it like a church or
     carnival side show. It's our choice.

     Alcohol is weakness or strength
     depending on one's point of view.
     My lab results raised grave concerns
     about my physical well being.
     I'd died long ago when I lost her.
     I knew that I'd regret my choice.

     The truth is when good and bad are
     placed upon the scale of God
     I believe it will favor my good.
     What brought me here was sadness.
     Joy died long ago when I lost her.
     Forgive me for my selfishness.

It's madness and beauty
hangs inside my heart
waiting for it's duty
to tear my mind apart.