She was every kind of beautiful
  that ever was or ever will be.
  More so because she didn't care.
  We floated above the noise
  just us two in bed stars in our eyes
  consuming us numb to all else.

  Jealousy clawed its way back
  into my heart. It always does.
  It ruined every love I ever had.
  I'm old and still don't understand.
  I fear lust's sting. Green eyed
  monster still waits in the wings.

These machines
we call brain
full of pleasure
and full of pain.

I wish I had
a different life
a different husband
a different wife
a different name
and different pets
just not so tame
without regrets.

In this uncertain world
at this imprecise time
I drink shots of Tequila
with slices of lime.

I snorted the atmosphere
from my ******* spoon
blew out the stars at night
then swallowed the moon.

No longer need to pretend.
At noon I smothered the sun
I brought it all to an end.
We fear God. I killed His son.

I'm no longer who
I thought I was,
now I'm just only
who I know I am.

I overpaid my shrink bartenders
who medicated me on many benders
charged by pours instead of hours,
extra for some good time ******.