Time has passed and life’s a blur..
I know where it starts, but not where it ends.
A hand full of photos bring back the old days.
Family, extended family, friends, acquaintances
all stare back at me like a tableaux at Christmas.
Swimming, picnics, sports, concerts, plays,
weddings, military, children, grandchildren
and always family, friends, fans, clapping,
cheering, hugging, all staring back and
asking me the question. Don’t you remember?
The beauty of photos is time stands still.
They prompt ones memory to revive those
feelings of happiness, joy, even sadness.
But time has passed and those memories
are buried beneath thoughts of a lifetime.
Where were... why was... were we... did he...
every photo, many questions. I must ask!
Surely someone in these photo can remember.
Then, the answer I feared, stillness, silence.
Suddenly, the specter of mortality washes over me
like a heat wave from hell and whispers,
“ There’s nobody left to ask “ then chuckles.

Are thoughts feelings?
Are feelings just thoughts?
What about questions,
are they feelings or thoughts?

What about opinions?
Are they thoughts or feelings?
Opinions are reserved for the inanimate.
The sky is blue, the mountain is tall.

A thought might be, Trump is a ****.
A feeling might be, I’ll never vote for him.
An opinion might be, the ACA is great.
A feeling might be, do I have coverage for that?

With love it’s not that easy.
You can think you are in love,
yet you don’t feel it.
You can feel you are in love, yet doubt it.

It comes down to the need for certainty.
Yesterday is certain, tomorrow isn’t.
Toady is a work in progress,
without feeling, only thoughts.

I’m lost in you
yet I’m found in you.
I travel the road to nowhere
using a detailed map.

I make assumptions
yet have no hint.
I reach, I grab
yet nothings there.

She talks of love
my ears don’t hear.
She moves in close
yet no ones here.

My mind goes blank
yet fills with fear.
Is all an illusion?
Is someone near?

What can I know?
Where can I go?
I drown in the flow.
My end is now.

Death is my fate.
I realize too late,
that love was the key,
only death sets me free.

Loss of faith
Wealth of pain
Gain of weight
Gone too soon

Dreaming of shadows
Feeling of loss
Panic in the moment
Deep in sorrow

Thriving in love
Ignoring the signals
Faking the interest
Letting all go

Drifting in thought
Oblivious to now
Detached from reality
Dabbling in death

In the beginning was infinity,
without a start or stop.
God is infinity, God just “ is “!
God created finite and gave it love.
The finite created time and
created therefore.
Time due to inability to measure
the infinite and therefore to
explain expectations.
The gift of love, though timeless,
is seen through the prism of time.
The therefore of love is seen
through the prism of expectations.
The origional gift was for eternal harmony.
The finite has subverted and perverted
the gift into a quest for self.
The self is either personal or ideological.
That quest leads to expectations
which leads to conflict.
Personal or ideological, conflict
leads to a paper with words
scratched by some random pen.
Infinity and love are simple but
can’t be imagined.
Finite and love are complex
and have to be lived.
Couldn’t we just imagine simple?

assault of images,
wonder of dreams,
break with reality.

drifting haze
obscure shapes
uncertainty reigns

heart that’s broken
heavy with loss
bleeding from hurt

soul that searches
questions it’s question
infinity is certain

world in chaos
is it catching
am I a victim

death is final
but not the end
faith says no

what’s beyond
imaginations door
afraid to open

Meditation is a journey
Myself the goal.
Quiet time
Mind reset
Deep inside
Seeking center
Reorient the heart
Search for the soul
Climb that ladder
Enlightenment shines
Eyes blinded
Back to earth
Mind refreshed
Vision clear.