How can he dislike everyone but act happy all the time?
The smile is always there but means words come across his mouth like a loaded gun.
Always talking about how he wants to leave but stays for some reason.

Hello,
Are you there.
Wasting time on someone who doesn't even care for me.
Who only wants the attention until someone new comes around.
It took him a year to finally tell me what his Plan was.
Some how it was my fault for falling in the trap.
At least my heart can heal but not the same for my trust .

If I was a book,
My pages would be filled with empty words.
I would be placed on the highest shelves.
In the middle of all the sections,
Not fitting in perfectly anywhere.
If I was a book
I would confuse everyone that picks me up,
Until someone gives me a chance.
If I was a book,
I hope you would choose me every night,
Read me until you fall asleep.

Back again
Doing the same thing.
Nothing feels real anymore,
Are we in a book?
When will the happy ending come
Will there be one?
I fear there will be part two.
No one knowing how to act
All the things now disappear.
Toilet paper being used as weapons.
The poor suffer as the rich take it all.

It always hurt seeing them leave.
I watch them grow without me.
Knowing we weren't meant to be.
Scared to admit that I miss them,
Knowing they won't feel the same way.
I watched them move on without me.
I'm glad they are happy but wish they were
Happy with me.
I know we were toxic, but can you please forgive me.

I hope you're doing ok.
I havent heard from you for a while but maybe it's meant to be this way.
In the sense that you moved on without me.
Without telling me that's how it's going to be.
I'm still waiting for a text that may never come.
A phone call that won't go threw.
I hope you're ok because it seemed like you don't want me Anymore and that's fine.
I'm better now.
Only if I could say that without crying

Was everything meant to be?
Did something turn into nothing?
Maybe it was just in my head but I know you felt it too.
Don't make me feel crazy for something I know was real.

Stay where you are.
Don't move, or everything will go up in flames.
I wait another minute, hoping this nightmare will go away.
Nothing has changed besides the laughs that turned into wines.
No one knows if we will get out.
Stay where you are, or be ready to fight something you can't see.

I never meet you besides my dreams.
I feel like I know you!
The way we talk every night.
She is the reasons for my smiles across the screen.
Please tell me you feel the same way.

What if she leaves again?
I'm not ready to say goodbye.
My heart will tear into it, but maybe that's for the better.
Maybe it wasn't meant to be in the end.
What if she never wanted me?

I let her in, in return
I got destroyed.
I showed my weakness, all I got
Was fake sorry. My house is filled with
Roses. I told her how that means nothing to me.
She tore my heart in two and watched me fall to the ground.
I trusted her, now all I can say is sorry. Even when I hear I love you,
I’m waiting for the end. It's hard to love someone when everything good is taken.
When I say I love you know I went through hell to get here. Please don’t hurt me again.
I can’t take it.

Why does this always happen
Dreams turn into nightmares
Wishes turn into bargaining for life.
This all happen because of one little lie.
I didn’t mean for this to get this bad.

How I send a text
Hi......
oh crap was that too loud.
Heyyyyy that is why too many y’s.
How about a simple hello, but that sounds way to formal.
Ok this should work.... just say I think you are cute.
Sent
Ohhh no she has seen it but no replay... it must mine she doesn’t like me.
It’s all over it was fake anyway!
I should of seen this coming!
Wait
She is typing
She said I think you are cute too!

I won't be mad that you left.
I knew this day would come even thought you told me it wouldn't.
I believed almost every word that came out of your mouth.
That I would be your number one.
That no one could take my place.
Look how wrong I was because I'm crying at my keyboard wonder where I went wrong.
In the back of my mind this is a nightmare that should have came sooner.
I'm afraid to open my eyes knowing this is real life.
Knowing that I lost my other half to someone else.
I'm not mad that you are leaving.
I'm mad that I Believed you would stay.

A flower is similar to dating,
Looks super sweet and will last for a long time.
Until the pedals start to slowly disappear, leaving an empty stem.
Then you look for a newer and prettier one,
Hoping this time, it will last longer than the last
Never understanding why it keeps getting old but never giving it attention.

I don’t want to die
I also don’t want to live in fear of my life.
Everyday hoping not to give in to the devil
Thinking life it's better just to be blindsided.
Where are you?
I was with you from the start now I’m talking to the walls.
Hoping someone will hear my screams
No one ever does.
It's been three years since I last smiled.
Once again where are you?
I never gave up even when I was on the edge.
I guess love isn’t strong enough,
Now I stand on the bridge
Hoping to find met up for once.
Do you want me? I will give you my life.
Please I need you.

Why do I crave you after a while?
I don't want you back in my life, but at the same time, I do.
The memories haunt my dreams of the past.
Of everything you did to me, did to my body.
Why do I want you back?
I guess I miss the pain and the love that no one else can give me.

I miss her,
She was the snowflakes on a boring day.
Her laugh is buzzing to an angled ear.
The good days felt like a dream that could last forever.
The bad days ended up in hell, used as Torture for the crazy.
I screamed waiting for the nightmare to end
Only finding out that it just started.
My life played on a jumbo screen thinking each second will be my last.
She said I love you.
I said I love you too.
But is this love, fearing for the bad days
And missing the good?

He said I look pretty. That I'm his number one.
She told me that I'm lying and no one really cares about me.
He said I'm amazing and that I deserve
The world.
She told me I should leave the world, I almost did twice because of her.
He gave a me a pill and never felt better.
She gave me a knife and I never felt worse.
He made me feel unstoppable,
She stopped me in seconds.
He helped me get out of bed,
She chained me to it.
He gave me too many ideas but she didnt give me enough.
He was too good and it something felt off.
She was the devil running around my head.
He was my best friend but only vistited me once while.
She was my worst enemy but came too often.

Again
Why do I let this happen?
I should have kicked him out for good.
Now he’s back and I can’t stop crying every time he texts another girl.
Knowing he will leave me when they are free.
I don’t want to be a loser waiting for him to love me.
He’s the only that ever cared and I don’t want that to go away.
I can’t keep doing this to my self
I know he is bad for me but I want him!
When will this pain go away?
When Will I stop letting him come back?

How much louder do her cries have to be to get heard?
Her mouth is getting tired of screaming for help.
Her tears are like the end of a sad movie.
If you looked up the warning signs of sucide
There will be a photo of her.
She try to wipe away the fears but then she would be gone.
She is too weak to fight forever
But too afraid to give up.

I had to loose my other half to find my soulmate.
The break up was the hardest but the person I found was all worth it.
I didn’t like the pain now I have the world.
I gave up many months of laughs to fill it with forever memories.
He didn’t like my notes now she is begging for more.
He was afraid of emotion she is giving me all her love.
I gave up my world to gain my soulmate.
He was right I’m heart break closer to my forever home.

How do you like someone like me?
Too scared to tell the truth, afraid of getting yelled at.
I was hoping that you won't leave me after learning the truth about me.
I like you just too scared to get rejected again.

Blah blah blah
Take me to shut your mind up.
You know you really want me.
All you have to do is find me.
(Takes one pill)
Now I control you,
Without me you suffer.
What if you can’t get more of me.
Will you hid behind a broken smile begging to get me.
Begging so much people think you have an addiction.
Blah blah hurt self.
I told you need me and you didn’t believe it.
Come on take one more.
You know you really want too.
(Finally takes it again)
Everything just stops.

I wish my life was a fairy tale so you would be right next to me.
I wish my life was a fairy tale so I could finally have a princess sitting next to me.
I wish my life was a fairy tale,
Then maybe all the bad would disappear.
Disappear from everything that made me wish for a different life.
I wish my life was a fairy tale so then everything could be happiely ever after once again

I’m gone
The happiness left.
All that is left is saddens.
Here the birds singing,
Telling me to run.
I asked where they said anywhere your mind is coming.
Why i am running from my own mind?
I must be my worst friend.
Help me please! I need to run!
I heard a girl telling me to follow her, I do.
Oh no it was my Brain.
Please help me escape
I can’t stay here. It will **** me.
I will wait it’s been 3 years, I can wait another day.

The wind blowing as the hair is flowing in the moment.
Wearing coats too big but keeps us just as warm.
Time to fall in love while drinking cocoa.
The bad memories are starting to fade like a rainy day.
The good is staying put like your conversions.
At the end of the night, we all stare at the same snow falling from the tress.
I wished on a shooting star to keep this day with us forever.

If I just go, would you follow me?
If I go for a ride, would you join?
I want to believe you won’t leave me.
I think that you still care, but I think all a lie.
I want you to stay with me.
I want you to care if I was done.
I miss the old days, but you changed.
You don’t care about me as you used too.
I’m just awaiting piece ready for the next move.
Please just come back to me.
I still care.

If I say goodbye would that be good enough for you?
Would you finally let me free or keeping holding be back?
I need to start over but you won't let me go.
I know we been though a lot but I finally feel ready to start something new.
If you let me go I promise it will be for the better.
I held on to the memories realizing it was all in my head.
That you didn't care about me has much as I did.
If I finally say goodbye would you let me be free of this fake love.

What if parents just loved for us.
If the listen to our broken cry's.
Imagine If we weren't alone anymore and had a someone who wanted us.
Not another struggle for them to through in our face.
I wonder if I will ever be good enough for them.
One tells me how much she loves me and other only sees me as a cheap sitter.
Throwing daggers at me whenever they get a chance.
I don't understand what I did for him to stop treating me as someone who they care about.
Maybe this is there way of caring but it hurts.
I don't want to deal with this anymore.

The day he almost died.
The pill bottles look too pleasing to be alone.
He decide to hold them one more time.
Wondering if it’s worth lasting until tomorrow.
He put them down as the pills screamed to be picked up again.
Next year it happened again.
This time the voices came from a dangerous blade.
He was so close but too afraid of leaving everyone alone.
So he stayed another night.

The day of lost
The day I won’t forget.
The screaming of happiness blocked out by madness .
Candy hearts turned into poison.
The memories sting but never disappear.
Love is the word that keeps us waiting.
I lost my love but at least I’m not gone.
Waiting each year for a rose that won’t turn into lies.

I wonder why I kept the letters all this time.
Maybe I was hoping he would come back the more I read it.
That he would just appear out of nowhere.
But nowhere ever came; no one ever came.
I wonder why I kept the letters all this time
Maybe I was hoping it would help my tears go away.
It didn't; it never does.
He will never find me the same again.

I wish I could be freed from this world.
That one day I won't be in pain with my own mind.
Maybe I will be able to find someone that loves me for me.
Not having to beg to be heard.
I wish I could be gone sometimes to make my mind shut up.
But it will be easier in the end.

The first time
I feel my heart being fixed
The pain finally goes away.
I can finally see the sunshine
It’s still far away but in view.
I want to be free of the memories
Hoping it will just be history.

I had a locket meant for you.
Now it sits on the floor covered in tears.
I remember the first I love to the last goodbye.
The I will stay forever turning into quite whispers.
Texting everyday to passing in the halls like nothing ever happen.
I though I knew what love was but now I’m begging for that word back.

Look at me
Look, I did it!
Always telling me I won’t make it.
Then how did I beat the race?
Looking ahead but seeing nothing but flowers... but now I didn’t win.
I lost and I will always lose.
I will never win because I have too much hope and don’t look at reality.
I don’t care what people say! I didn’t die so I won.
I didn’t live but I’m trying.
I didn’t fly to the top but I didn’t end on the floor.
Look I did it! I will always make it to my own goals.
It may not theirs but it’s mine

I look at it with tears in my eyes.
What's there, you may ask?
Nothing just empty thoughts of pain waiting to happen.
I see the future of regret,
I’m wishing to take the last ten seconds back.
I look at my tattoo one more time to give me hope,
The snowman tattoo smiles, praying I let go of the past.
Nothing will change until I do.

I didn’t know how broken I was until I got better.
The battle was hard but being broken is worse.
Seeing my family scared when they see me is painful.
The thought of losing you is worse.

I tried coffee again after a long time.
It wasn’t that I didn’t like it was all the memores wrapped up in one cup.
She drank it every morning and kissed me goodbye.
The taste still on my lips and the caffeine running into my vines.
Wishing for more coffee just to remind myself of her.
I tried coffee again but this time it was different.
No more rushing feelings just plain old taste in my mouth.
I wonder if the taste ever reminds her of mornings with me.
Of what life could have been if she didn’t leave.

The sweet girl from her.
The words that couldn’t stop me smiling even if I try.
Wanting to stay up all night talking, Planning all the adventures.
Laughing and blushing from a single text message. Waiting to learn more about what makes her smile on the darkest day. Knowing it’s only been a few days but already having a crush on her.

I can’t look anymore,
All I see is mistakes of letting her go.
She wanted me to fight ,
I gave up after the first glare.
I didn’t want to be broken so I destroyed her instead.
She loved me but I didn’t want my feelings on the line.
Now I want her back.
Now I cry and she glows.

Is this love?
Fearing for the dark spot
Getting used to screaming sounding like music.
Hoping one day all of this will be gone.
He said he loved me.
Isn’t that enough?
The words are covered in lost love.
I love you, is turning into an empty lie
This is no dream just too tired to start over.
Wishing for the past to come back.

I was his everything, or that’s what he said.
He liked other girls, but I didn’t want to believe it.
I held on too long, so he knew that I wouldn’t let go.
I wanted us to be the end game, but all he wanted it to was a fling.
This was a year ago. Why can’t I let go?
I hold wondering if he will come to me
He ever has, but I still wait in shallow and petty.

Watching a movie, you hate on repeat all day/ night long.
listing to the same sad song even though you cry every time.
Want to run to get out of your thoughts but it ends up jogging right next to you.
Hearing people talk but thinking they hate you.
Watching people hang out with you only to believe it’s all a trick.

Days are getting longer
Her voice is getting softer.
My friends tried to warn me
I didn’t listen.
My heart got too attached. Now it’s paying the price.
She left me, but now it is back.
I want to see her what if she leaves again?
My heart is not ready yet.

She wanted his attention,
But only got left on read.
She treated him like a king
He played her like a video game.
She was heartbroken, all he did was
Laugh.
Her heart healed and his started to break.

Her voice was as soft as cotton candy on a summer day.
Her body was like a river Beauty that never stop comings.
Her hair was smooth as lather chair.
My love for her only grow stronger each day.
I thought I couldn’t find my princess but all it took was waiting for the right one.
She is my world,
My happiness.

Love
Love has no limits and not hate.
Don’t stand there and tell me you love it when you don’t even know her.
What’s her favorite color?
What makes her happy on a Cloudy day?
I watch her grow each day learning new things.
One day I hope she takes my last name.
I watched her cry over you.
She has only smiled because of me.
She laughed at my stories.
I cried to see you leave her again.
I may be her best friend, but one day I will be her whole life.
Love is making sure she is happy and cooking her favorite things.
I never once told her to change because she is fantastic just this way.

I now know I will never be enough.
I wish I was his ex.
He must have been really in love.
Watch me spread my wings,
He will regret this soon.
No, he won’t
I’m not this high school sweet hurt,
Not the one that makes him smile.
He wanted a rebound and I was easy to get too.
Thinking we would get married only to watch him leave in a minute.
I hope his ex understands he never fell out of love.
He tried to move on but his heart stayed.