Blah blah blah
Take me to shut your mind up.
You know you really want me.
All you have to do is find me.
(Takes one pill)
Now I control you,
Without me you suffer.
What if you can’t get more of me.
Will you hid behind a broken smile begging to get me.
Begging so much people think you have an addiction.
Blah blah hurt self.
I told you need me and you didn’t believe it.
Come on take one more.
You know you really want too.
(Finally takes it again)
Everything just stops.

She was broken but hiding it.
Her smile was brighter than the sun,
But her thoughts were darker than the moon.
She was seconds away from going,
The thought of love made her stay.

In-person they love me,
Over text, it’s like a desert.
I wish for rain but I only have my
tears.

My little heart flutters with butterflies.
It's the way he smiles at me and makes me feel special.
This time it will be different, or that's what I tell myself.
I'm not worried about falling, only for the after the mess of it all.
My little heart flutters with butterflies while my mind worries about how to prepare for the last goodbye.

The wind blowing as the hair is flowing in the moment.
Wearing coats too big but keeps us just as warm.
Time to fall in love while drinking cocoa.
The bad memories are starting to fade like a rainy day.
The good is staying put like your conversions.
At the end of the night, we all stare at the same snow falling from the tress.
I wished on a shooting star to keep this day with us forever.

Freeze.
I stand still, waiting for a single whisper.
If I move,
Will everything good disappear?
Holding onto the memories that help me stay quite
Wondering if this moment will ever pass.

I can’t keep living this way,
In fear of missing you.
I want to laugh at the past,
All I do is cry instead.
I hope one day we meet again,
It may be sooner nowadays.
My world is dark, my smile is blank.
Why did no one tell me depression was my fate.

If I was a book,
My pages would be filled with empty words.
I would be placed on the highest shelves.
In the middle of all the sections,
Not fitting in perfectly anywhere.
If I was a book
I would confuse everyone that picks me up,
Until someone gives me a chance.
If I was a book,
I hope you would choose me every night,
Read me until you fall asleep.

A single rose means love,
The rest mean he ******* up again.
Every time he brought home flowers, I knew right away he had done something terrible.
The women would accept and forget it ever happened.
It was only the start of a downhill relationship.

I wonder how he got away.
How the mystery was never solved.
Maybe everyone lied to cover this track with ****** money.
I wonder how he got away with breaking my heart.
He said he loved me a million times but ever thought he didn’t mean it.
Until the last day that changed everything.
He looked in my the face and smiled with all this teeth.
I love you for the rest of my life.
Then he left and no one has seen him since.

I really like you.
I'm too afraid to give my heart up again.
Will you promise not to break me?
Will you let me know when the love is gone in your eyes?
I can't watch you fall out of love.
Just to turn around and feel that way with someone else more then you ever did with me.
It's ok to leave,
Don't go without a word please.

Tell me this happiness is all fake.
Tell me the broken heart is a toy messing all of its pieces.
I won’t believe this truth.
If I told him my heart was made of money, then he would keep it right?
Instead, just emotions failing to be shown.
Did he just want me to be heartless so I can’t fall in love with him?
He just wanted a doll, but I’m not that.
Does this mean I'm seeing the real truth

The last boy with the girl who never notices herself.
Until the boy opened her eyes to a new world.
He made her feel worth everything,
She ever had that growing up.
They were friends since the start,
Now their feelings are changing.
The once-lost boy finds himself in her eyes.
He finally found a home that won't go away.

Again
Why do I let this happen?
I should have kicked him out for good.
Now he’s back and I can’t stop crying every time he texts another girl.
Knowing he will leave me when they are free.
I don’t want to be a loser waiting for him to love me.
He’s the only that ever cared and I don’t want that to go away.
I can’t keep doing this to my self
I know he is bad for me but I want him!
When will this pain go away?
When Will I stop letting him come back?

I wish I could control it.
Not wanting to cry over the little things hoping it will go away.
When will it stop telling me things on repeat.
I tried to listen to the good in life but it's hard when the darkness is screaming in your ears.
Not wanting to burden anyone with my issues but trying to tell the truth at the same time.
Everyone telling me it will be ok and we aren't leaving.
How can I believe all the words when my mind wants to say the opposite.
Do I believe them or my broken mind.
Maybe I don't want to believe it's broken.
Maybe one day my pills will stop this all.
Or maybe I can stop it all.

What if parents just loved for us.
If the listen to our broken cry's.
Imagine If we weren't alone anymore and had a someone who wanted us.
Not another struggle for them to through in our face.
I wonder if I will ever be good enough for them.
One tells me how much she loves me and other only sees me as a cheap sitter.
Throwing daggers at me whenever they get a chance.
I don't understand what I did for him to stop treating me as someone who they care about.
Maybe this is there way of caring but it hurts.
I don't want to deal with this anymore.

My window
I look outside the same window,
Wondering if anything will change.
Will the flowers finally grow today?
I look at it one time, seeing the snowfall on the ground.
Realizing the start of winter finally happened.
I closed my eyes for a minute, and the snow was gone again.
It all started with a little sadness but ended back with summer nights.
We take four seasons for Granted.
One day everything will be different.
There will be no going back.
Today I looked outside my window one more time.

I'm not used to crying for missing people.
This year my eyes are filled with tears for saying goodbyes to those I love.
I know we will talk again.
When we meet as strangers,
The memories that will be stories for new friends.
Keeping all photos hidden deep close to me.
Making sure I never forget what you mean to me.

All I can do is cry
My hope is done with us.
I wanted this to least
There is nothing to fix.
Your heart never let his arms
While mine waiting to be loved.
I wish I could be him.
I wish I could stop your pain.
Go back in time and fix the mistake
If it’s true love why didn’t it work?
All they can say is nothing
Even that is too much.
Go!
I’m not holding you back.

How I send a text
Hi......
oh crap was that too loud.
Heyyyyy that is why too many y’s.
How about a simple hello, but that sounds way to formal.
Ok this should work.... just say I think you are cute.
Sent
Ohhh no she has seen it but no replay... it must mine she doesn’t like me.
It’s all over it was fake anyway!
I should of seen this coming!
Wait
She is typing
She said I think you are cute too!

I’m sorry
It's the losing words,
I give up and don’t want to fight.
I can’t take seeing mad faces so I lay myself down to get walked over.
After a while, I got used to it.
I learned how to hide my emotions
Behind a locked door that will never open.
Try all you got and see that it will never move
Not even an inch.
If I hit the floor, I can't go lower.

I wonder how everything is meant to be.
If I gave her five more minutes maybe she would still in my arms.
Maybe she would have been my last kiss and it could have lasted forever.
I thought she was the one for me.
Some days I even counted how long until we saw each other again.
The answer was it was always too long but I know she was the one.
I don't know if she agrees but my heart is broken into pieces waiting to be glued back together.
She is the only one with the right glue.
Maybe my heart will always be broken.
Maybe I lost the love of my life forever.

Luisina.
Where did she go?
I only see her in my dreams late at night,
When everyone is gone.
What if she is make believe?
My mind is on over drive trying to find her.
The thoughts are talking over that she won't back to say goodbye.
I want to hold her one more night.
To tell her"I love you Luisina".
Before she disappears on me.
I think it's too late.
My love won't leave like she did.

Stay where you are.
Don't move, or everything will go up in flames.
I wait another minute, hoping this nightmare will go away.
Nothing has changed besides the laughs that turned into wines.
No one knows if we will get out.
Stay where you are, or be ready to fight something you can't see.

It feels like a dream maybe too good to last.
Maybe too good to be true.
I sit back and relax not sure what is going to happen next.
I roll down my window and I finally understand what being peaceful means.
I thought it meant when im sitting next to you and you give me that look.
That says nothing bad is ever going to happen to you.
But I'm alone and I feel better than ever.
I hope this isn't a dream.
If this has to be I hope I never wake up unless you're next to me.

Truth hurts
She gave him all she had
But got nothing in return.
She stayed up all night waiting
For a text.
He stayed up flirting with other girls.
She missed wanted him so badly
He only wanted one girl, she wasn’t it.
She is waiting for that to change.
He doesn’t even notice her.

The light grows brighter,
When the darkness starts to fade.
Hold on for another day,
I will hold you tight until the sun rises.

Mexico
Today I was supposed to go there.
It was the thing that kept sane when I was insane.
Things don’t always go as planned, and I’m learning this the hard way.
I was in pain, but my mind used this as a reason to keep going.
this is gone what is next because my dreams are crashing likes fly in a window.
It’s a little buzz but doesn’t get louder even if I try to scream.
I was told to let it out, but it doesn’t work.
Nothing comes out, nothing but air.
I try to fight, but nothing is near me.
Today was a trip, but now I’m at home.

I'm not upset anymore.
This is good bye until we meet again,
I hope you remember me as the boy that stayed up late just to say hi.
I knew nothing last forever,
Was hoping this would be different.
The first time I sent you a text I didn't think we would be friends like this.
I hope one day we meet in person.
I wish this wasn't goodbye but happy for the times we had.

How can he dislike everyone but act happy all the time?
The smile is always there but means words come across his mouth like a loaded gun.
Always talking about how he wants to leave but stays for some reason.

I don’t want to die
I also don’t want to live in fear of my life.
Everyday hoping not to give in to the devil
Thinking life it's better just to be blindsided.
Where are you?
I was with you from the start now I’m talking to the walls.
Hoping someone will hear my screams
No one ever does.
It's been three years since I last smiled.
Once again where are you?
I never gave up even when I was on the edge.
I guess love isn’t strong enough,
Now I stand on the bridge
Hoping to find met up for once.
Do you want me? I will give you my life.
Please I need you.

It always hurt seeing them leave.
I watch them grow without me.
Knowing we weren't meant to be.
Scared to admit that I miss them,
Knowing they won't feel the same way.
I watched them move on without me.
I'm glad they are happy but wish they were
Happy with me.
I know we were toxic, but can you please forgive me.

Why does this always happen
Dreams turn into nightmares
Wishes turn into bargaining for life.
This all happen because of one little lie.
I didn’t mean for this to get this bad.

I never meet you besides my dreams.
I feel like I know you!
The way we talk every night.
She is the reasons for my smiles across the screen.
Please tell me you feel the same way.

Hello,
Are you there.
Wasting time on someone who doesn't even care for me.
Who only wants the attention until someone new comes around.
It took him a year to finally tell me what his Plan was.
Some how it was my fault for falling in the trap.
At least my heart can heal but not the same for my trust .

Back again
Doing the same thing.
Nothing feels real anymore,
Are we in a book?
When will the happy ending come
Will there be one?
I fear there will be part two.
No one knowing how to act
All the things now disappear.
Toilet paper being used as weapons.
The poor suffer as the rich take it all.

A flower is similar to dating,
Looks super sweet and will last for a long time.
Until the pedals start to slowly disappear, leaving an empty stem.
Then you look for a newer and prettier one,
Hoping this time, it will last longer than the last
Never understanding why it keeps getting old but never giving it attention.

If I just go, would you follow me?
If I go for a ride, would you join?
I want to believe you won’t leave me.
I think that you still care, but I think all a lie.
I want you to stay with me.
I want you to care if I was done.
I miss the old days, but you changed.
You don’t care about me as you used too.
I’m just awaiting piece ready for the next move.
Please just come back to me.
I still care.

I talk, but no one listens.
I’m living for the future me.
The one that isn’t here yet,
If you see this, then we made it.
I did this all for you,
You deserve to have a chance.
I’m sorry that I got you this far
And nothing changed.
Promise me that it will be better.
Promise me that it was worth the wait.
Worth the suffering, crying, and blood loss.
The losing of friends and family.
Worth the game, we all play.

I let her in, in return
I got destroyed.
I showed my weakness, all I got
Was fake sorry. My house is filled with
Roses. I told her how that means nothing to me.
She tore my heart in two and watched me fall to the ground.
I trusted her, now all I can say is sorry. Even when I hear I love you,
I’m waiting for the end. It's hard to love someone when everything good is taken.
When I say I love you know I went through hell to get here. Please don’t hurt me again.
I can’t take it.

I fell in love with the pain.
The memories replay in my head over and over.
It feels so nice when I want to replay it.
Remembering all the little details.
Wishing I could do it now but no one understands.
I fell in love with the blade.
Wanting more of the pain to happen even with a smile on my face.
Hoping no one would notice when my long sleeves come back.
Now I’m two months clean still thinking of last time.
Hoping the memory will be enough this time.
Not wanting to start over but not willing to fight it.

I had to loose my other half to find my soulmate.
The break up was the hardest but the person I found was all worth it.
I didn’t like the pain now I have the world.
I gave up many months of laughs to fill it with forever memories.
He didn’t like my notes now she is begging for more.
He was afraid of emotion she is giving me all her love.
I gave up my world to gain my soulmate.
He was right I’m heart break closer to my forever home.

Love
Love has no limits and not hate.
Don’t stand there and tell me you love it when you don’t even know her.
What’s her favorite color?
What makes her happy on a Cloudy day?
I watch her grow each day learning new things.
One day I hope she takes my last name.
I watched her cry over you.
She has only smiled because of me.
She laughed at my stories.
I cried to see you leave her again.
I may be her best friend, but one day I will be her whole life.
Love is making sure she is happy and cooking her favorite things.
I never once told her to change because she is fantastic just this way.

I had a locket meant for you.
Now it sits on the floor covered in tears.
I remember the first I love to the last goodbye.
The I will stay forever turning into quite whispers.
Texting everyday to passing in the halls like nothing ever happen.
I though I knew what love was but now I’m begging for that word back.

I miss her,
She was the snowflakes on a boring day.
Her laugh is buzzing to an angled ear.
The good days felt like a dream that could last forever.
The bad days ended up in hell, used as Torture for the crazy.
I screamed waiting for the nightmare to end
Only finding out that it just started.
My life played on a jumbo screen thinking each second will be my last.
She said I love you.
I said I love you too.
But is this love, fearing for the bad days
And missing the good?

Is this love?
Fearing for the dark spot
Getting used to screaming sounding like music.
Hoping one day all of this will be gone.
He said he loved me.
Isn’t that enough?
The words are covered in lost love.
I love you, is turning into an empty lie
This is no dream just too tired to start over.
Wishing for the past to come back.

How do you like someone like me?
Too scared to tell the truth, afraid of getting yelled at.
I was hoping that you won't leave me after learning the truth about me.
I like you just too scared to get rejected again.

The first time
I feel my heart being fixed
The pain finally goes away.
I can finally see the sunshine
It’s still far away but in view.
I want to be free of the memories
Hoping it will just be history.

I was his everything, or that’s what he said.
He liked other girls, but I didn’t want to believe it.
I held on too long, so he knew that I wouldn’t let go.
I wanted us to be the end game, but all he wanted it to was a fling.
This was a year ago. Why can’t I let go?
I hold wondering if he will come to me
He ever has, but I still wait in shallow and petty.

How much louder do her cries have to be to get heard?
Her mouth is getting tired of screaming for help.
Her tears are like the end of a sad movie.
If you looked up the warning signs of sucide
There will be a photo of her.
She try to wipe away the fears but then she would be gone.
She is too weak to fight forever
But too afraid to give up.