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Hafsa S May 2020
So here I lay in bed again
Counting up my lot
What I lost, what I won
What again I lost

Today I fooled myself
For a moment I fooled them all
I swear I soar so high
Before the inevitable fall

Then darkness reared its twisted head
That old familiar friend
Said: fool yourself all you want
I will always be your end

This time I will do things differently
I've learned how to play the game
But these legs they turn black and blue
Waiting for a call that never came

So darkness reared its head again
That old familiar friend
Said: Well, what did you expect?
I am your only end

And when the bitterness has taken root
That's when they give you a second shot
But it's too late now, I've lost my nerve
I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop

Come on darkness, where are you now
Atleast with you I don't have to pretend
So maybe its not so tragic
That you will always be my end

Why can't these fingers let the pain slip through
And only hold on to the good
Why can't I find the right words to say
Or act like I'm told I should

Darkness is standing behind me
That old familiar friend
Whispered softly: It's time to stop fighting
You know I'll be your end

Now I see the world for what it really is
Nothing but a wasteland
There's no place for someone like you out here
So just bury your head in the sand

I let the shadow of darkness in
That old familiar foe
Said: I am not a shadow, little girl
I am your very soul

I didn't lose
I didn't win
Hell, I just gave in
Guess I had known it all along
How this would always end
Hafsa S May 2020
There is no hope for change
As far as the eye can see
I did not fail in this system
The system failed me
Hafsa S May 2020
Come see the world through my eyes
Come feel it through me

Here ugliness is more ugly than imagination
But beauty more beautiful than thoughts can be
Here bruises of the soul are a visible blue
For anyone who dares to look closely

You can feel the pain of the broken man
Standing where he lay and bled
Here a papercut is as bad as a gashing wound
But the blood is a brilliant red

Here life is rarely ever fair
You don't get what you give
But you welcome the disappointment with open arms everytime
For to feel is to live
Hafsa S May 2020
She desired for the wilted flower to bloom
But all her efforts where to go in vain
For love and support may bring a certain hope
But forever wilted the flower shall remain
Hafsa S May 2020
I no longer feel the need to belong
The impulse to disappear is much more strong
Thought only cowards chose to give up
But maybe my absence, will right all wrongs
Hafsa S May 2020
I've been patient for all these years
How much longer must I wait
If you're willing to take responsibility today
I promise you a clean slate

To you we are all equal
But only I share your name
Can't you see: The people you love,
And the people who love you
They are not the same

You lost my respect a long time ago
But the love still remains
Despite every tainted memory
Your blood still runs through my veins

Now the truth is right in front of you
Just open your eyes and see
Show me that you're worth that love
Before you lose all of me
  Apr 2020 Hafsa S
maria
I want to be captivating
I want to be bright
I want to make you laugh
I want to bring tears to your eyes
I want to have something to offer

That doesn’t fade with time
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