Having a child is a gift
Raising them is not
Just another reminder
You dont always get what you wish for
How you wish
No matter the outcome

searching,
Trying to find the path ,
already embarking on
knowing not which way to take
All to know is to journey forward
No matter the direction
Once bitten twice shy
deceiver impartially
Seeking shade from the sun star gazing
shiver at thy future
And cringe constantly
Bursting out with a sprint to start this race
Only to find out its a marathon to walk
This is a different kind of race, one not man-made
But for the human race
Where the race continues even when one wins
settle for consolation prizes , not knowing the real prize
a character exercise if to guess
Nice to meet  fellow travellers
how to greet lately
hope will be the first to aid
aim for the heart
Try to pump oxygen to the brain
And breathe life to the soul
So as to live a full life on the road
Those who already know the way, please shed light
searching,
Trying to find the path
already embarking on
Knowing not which way to take
foolish trying to find wisdom
blindsighted trying to see the light
Attempted at knowledge through intelligence
knowing not to do with when  the destination is reached
trading tools for the path none knows
Lonely amongst people, singular in plural
In sight of no referee nor coach,
The organiser bears the responsibility
Participation should not cease

I praise the creater for thought (Thot)
I try to use the present of the gift,
Rather than understand ( overstand) it
There are alot of thoughts i find myself processing
Some thoughts i strive for reality,
Some thoughts i dont mind if they dont come to life
During the thought process in my mind, body and soul
Some thoughts pass through my mental machinery with the speed of light,
Some are sent to storage for later processing (use)

God loves me, I love God
My family loves me, I love my family
My friends love me, I love my friends
Mother-Nature loves me , I love Mother-Nature
Maruana loves me, I love Maruana
I hate the fact that I disrespect that love with lust

https://my.w.tt/gPSM4oB3Fbb

These eyes are for seeing nature ,
Not to stare at into your soul
So please!
These hands are for working,
Not to hold your hand
So please!
These arms are for lifting
Not to cuddle
So please!
These feet are for transportation
Not for scrolling in parks
So please!
The heart is for pumping blood
And nothing else
So please!
The mind is for thot
Not for your memories
So please!
These ears are to hear wisdom
Not your baggage
So please!
Genetiles are used for reproduction
Not for making love
So please!
These teeth are for chewing
Not to be smiling at you
So please!
These lips are for talking
Not to be kissing you
So please!
This tongue is for tasting
And nothing else
So please!
None of my senses could sense you slipping through my fingers, and sensing the danger ahead
Its common sense that what doesnt **** you makes you stronger

What is afterlife
OR is it just a void where living is not existent after death
Is it parallel to the life we are living
Is it opposite to the life we are living
I know it is beyond our control,
But what about our grasp
If the future is today's actions
Then if there is life afterlife, what kind of future would be better lived
If life is non-existant in a void in the afterlife,
Then why do we have such a strong belief
That we even create in our imagination vision of a world living,
With life different to the current life
Sometimes we are afraid
Sometimes we are yearning
All the time we are having this constant belief
All the time we agree of afterlife being spiritual
Then what is life,
Spiritual or physical or mental or emotional
That we need even to consider life after
Then why even consider afterlife if we are already living
Than to believe we are transcending with death
Why do we believe that there is another-life,
That we will live worse or better

I know listening is a skill,
But is it the same with patience ?
Can patience be acquired ?
OR are you born patient?
Does it come with growth ?
OR does it come with genetics ?
I ask 'cause I cannot seem to grasp it's existence
Perhaps if I can do abit of patience training,
Then I can master it like a skill
Maybe it needs to be worked on as talent
I don't know if it has any significance OR
It is just a delay in time
Timing dating coincidence, moment dating time
I can't even figure-out if it's a need OR want
I can't even tell the difference between waiting and (being) patient

Can't wait to shun these thoughts when it's my turn

The feeling of despair, makes one feel impaired
Stuck, in the repetition of questioning rationalisation
Should I have dared to inflict more care
To what satisfaction is my ignorance
Inflated despair causes desperation, to my realisation

When sense makes no sense
When one's world is upside-down
When there is conflict between interest and intention and action
That's when despair we meet

Feeling loss of control
Forgetting, not everything is in your control
Faith broken with no hope of repair
Internal conflicting with external

I dare say being despair is feutal
As we grow we learn the wisdom that life is eternal
Life experience of experience occurs even unintentional
Emotions are there until they are there no more
The logical healing of despair is the beauty of life

Hear the heat these words hit ,
Knockout ignorance
Aim was not verbal nor emotional nor mental abuse,
Just renaissance
Trying to open thy mind,
Key to sloth is comfortability  
Have alot of belief in the creator,
And second chances
Yet  reluctant to give any chances,
Thinking its all advances for  desires
Then its not like  distrust ,
But just cant trust ,
Thats the issues, arising many other
Cant take chances to and fro trust
Thats the crust of this crux
Move past the past coz its in the past,
And appreciate with anticipation the gift of the present to-day, even at night
So that  future be better brighter than the last previous
Its not that  are not a creative that  cant visualise words,
Just prefer to entertain own visions of self  envisage,
Creating an image, a metaverse pictured in  hindsight, medulla stored
Seeing believing,
Yet  dont trust  to see actions,
And actions seen,
Is there difference between the two,
(As) / (Like) me and you, us and we
Between trust and belief
Its tough when its rough but the roughness creates toughness
Its dandy-rough like dandruff on thy head and thy shoulders
As i told last lifetime, i will tell in the next lifetime,love
There are many Davids out there, so i dont need to be acting like Goliath, joking around

Tis what tell thyself when mirroring
thoughts with actions
A marriage of mirage

(Attempt to hit two birds with one hank,
It takes one shot to shoot the shot)

A mental reflection of on manifestation

A planted seedling such is life
Under the heft of the soil
Darkness from the sun
Feeling earth the burden
Yearning for photosynthesis
To breakthrough
The beginning of new life
Striving Underground
Does not mean theres no growth
All this work is not seen by thyself even
By the time it shows , its rooted
Roots bare the stem
Harvest born from experience

So young yet so old as i
I may be a wild plant  but I pollinated you
You have my intellect
I have your wisdom
Such an old spirit
How can i foresake the gods,
Knowing they have channeled you through me
Destiny is pre-destined
Thus called gift of the present
You may love me,
I must love you
You and i have a bond stronger than telepathy
If i complete this cycle of life then such is life
Fact is you are the future,
Noone wants an imbalanced one
I didnt nurture you so nurture yourself like i had to do just like you

If i fix it
If i apologise
If i repent
If its not right its not right

I have come to know, church,
As an image dry-cleaner albeit a spiritual-purifier
Religiously purchasing blessings,
With belief,  bribing-out from  sins, with tithe
Paying no faith to its relevance in heaven

Born out of sin
Even the fact we are born ,
Is a scene
Every action is a sin
Even thought
And emotion
Then how is redemption ?!

We used to be Adam and Eve
(Under an apple tree)
Now im just Isaac Newton
(With the pull of gravity alone)

You were the first meal i had when i woke up,
Not that you were the apple of my eye
Its the most important meal of the day
Fast is not how we moved until day- break
And was health too
Not coz of the exercises
But the apples and pears, bananas and watermelon
You were the kind type but your patience was (burning paper) slowly burning out like typek
You dont like the shade of my apple tree no more
I dont mean to compare apples and oranges but its like rotten peach, overripe

Your feeling used to levitate me,
The knowledge of you feels like burden(biden) weighing on me

Waved in my shores,
By a sea of manifestation to be seen
With tap dancing shoes,
Waltzed in like a sandstorm
And  it teared  out my eyes with joy
It was an hour mark on my sandy heart
Sensational fragility like an hourglass
Your pearls unlocked my fortress shell
Like a showcase,
Now you a case on my nerves with your stinking-stinging-stunts
The nutshell is you have me  nuts
Draining every protein of my fibre
Theatre tricks, using emotions as props
Which is variety of improper
Demanding audience, producing plays with your drama
I feel you slipping through my fingers like a soapie
I guess you meant it when you said you selling fish, i thought it was a self-pit parade

Stop flexing powers you dont have,
Nay play, with me in your palms
You might lose me
Our untie might be by your own hand, with our hopes crushed
A thousand broken pieces is untidy
Even emotionally and mentally
If we were to add up a tally

I may not be wise,
But nothing phases me nomore
You may love me today, and hate me tommorow
That dont phase me
You may be loyal today and betray me tommorow
Nothing phases me anymore
You may be a friend today , an enemy tommorow
I am not phased by that
Blood may be thicker today and water-under-the-bridge tomorrow
That still doesnt phase me
Even loss does not phase nomore

I always betrayed disloyalty for honor,
Always strived to be faithful,
Didnt know i was faithful to those who would betray,
Who am i to judge, having betrayed myself for others
There was no contract for guarantees for return of investment
Investment of time and emotion
All in the name of trust faithfully
How could it be prevented , as thats better than cure,
What is the remedy
Could it be avoided
Ofcourse it has made me stronger,
Made me wiser
Could it be kharma of the feeling of the broken promises
I hope my faith in loyalty does not suffer diminishing returns
No that i fear independence , a loner
Sometimes there is strength in numbers,
And the weakest link is the consequence of the chain of command,
Instinct of alfa dominance
Piquant by confidence of pride

The South African,
And even at large the continental economy,
Is rough on bankers and economists alike,
It has become a hub for capitalist business,
Corrupt politicians sharing the spoils,
Coffers not safe
Left-overs given to criminals
And the crumbs for the citizens
Each party in cylo even in cylos
Even race has lost the race to poverty
The runner-up being unemployment
Local investment is not even in the race
People have lost their ability to govern their patience
Essentially the economy is ungovernable by policies
It has become artificially influenced by patterns and trends,
By globalisation
With the only investment being foreign
Whilst local resources and labour
Are being exploited
Even the world bank is alarmed by the 80/20 wealth proportionality ratio
Its all about economies of scale ,
Margins and bottomlines
Sometimes even tax is not profiting
Debt has captured even the debt-collectors,
And tax-practioners alike
Making it difficult even to debit creditors
Black-economic-empowerment struggling to break-even,
Making it a loss trajectory
Entertainment industry booming whilst tourism is strough
No recovery from fraud
Crime at its peak
The economy is reflecting its health status that there is no adequate intensive care,
And no unity,
Even in classes by educational wealth
Imports does not produce exports
Not to mention the ports-system
Cant even afford to pay attention to service delivery
Subsidy housing erected everyday,
And yet there is no adequate infrastructure
It is a tendering system
Informal industry petitioning to be formalised
Whilst formal sector is behaving informally
The supreme housing of policy we knew as the parliament has become
A magic circus
The show sold to the highest bidder
Whilst the reserve bank has a weak bladder
So many loopholes in the system,  
In constitution the economy has no scapegoat,
The agricultural industry is not alive,
Development is banked
When we do a post-honourous dissection,
We see natural disasters instead of manmade causes

I think i have found a solution to gbv (gender based violence),
Anyone convicted of it should be given to soccer players to practise penalty shootout for 90 minutes and plus 67 minutes on Madiba day with their *****,
( a million petitions should allow it to be signed into law)

Why was McCathy's secret ingredient to being one of the best,
He used the Benny spice

I think i know why soccer is round,
And why men like kicking it so much,
Its what they wish to do to each other
I mean theres a centre ,
And the centre is round
And its where the kickoff starts
So that everyone would be square with each other
Why would we need reserves if we there just to play,
The reserves are there to carry back home those who cant walk it out
But you know everyone has to has their turn

OR maybe even football was actually invented by women,
To destress and defrustrate,
So they created this object with the shape of a head , but soft enough to be kickeable,
And they drew a blank face, with beard and mustache,
So they can imagine it as their husband,
So when their husband were out hunting or working,
They would be kicking around with satisfaction with this feeling of imagination,
The penalty kick, with the Goalkeeper,
Sounds like the ****** kick
Or women created football for activity of fitness for when their husbands came back from their duties and it would be a equally healthy groovy time,
But you know how authoritarian men are,
They came back early one time, and made this discovery , the secret of women,
And they said a place of a woman is indoors,
And so they started to experiment with it and started to enjoy,
And took it over

Why does a football team have 11 players,
The coach learned from what one of the disciples did
And they always bench judas

The only way i get over a heartbreak easily,
Is immediately after the heartbreak i tell myself,
As long as the Creator is still not a woman, then im still on the winning team

Why is there a goal keeper in the team or what is their role ,
Is to keep reminding their teammates the goal of the game, is to win

Why is the field of play called the pitch,
The game is the presentation of the gym or practice ,
In front of the audience called spectators (supporters), maybe fans, to cool down the nerves of the participants

I see Ukraine
I see Gaza
Let me show you Sudan
Maybe you will see the whole world
The bigger empathy picture
With these words im not fighting for attention, least not sympathy
I feel like if we zoom-in on each piece of the puzzle,
We may never finish the photo-album

Which is which,
And if you dont know,
Which is which,
Dont go on a which hunt
(Witches witch,
And if you dont know,
Witches witch,
Dont go on a witch hunt)

Without contemplation
Without contention
No hesitation
Myself is the only competition
Attemption
For poverty elimination
For wisdom acquisition
Attemption
Requires devotion
Ignition of passion
Attemption

Its the same sun as yesterday,
But its not the same day
Every new dawn, births new day
New deeds

I used to ignite you
You felt me at every turn you made
Every itch, (stretch of every scratch)
Every whisper
Elbow to elbow
You kept on pushing, maybe shoving
Until you pushed me further than close
Thats how you now feel
Im not yet gone , (thats how its real)
At arms length, still armstrong
Headstrong  not heartfelt
To feel me you have to reach out,
And speak out ( thoughts of emotions)
Hearing your silence,
Yearning your actions
I never thought i would be watching your palms albeit  holding them
I hold  the thought of them,
And how they made me feel
Yes i still do feel ( even  untouched)
Now you imagine in your engine,
That you have pushed me to start a new life   ( without you in the drivers seat)