the  feeling of Loving you
Have me choking from a hanging noose
feeling scarred and misused
feeling battered and bruised
**** gots me shattered and con-fused

say that I'm to blame
calling me insane
you planting seeds of outrage
without showing any restraint
yet all you left me with is this pain

your love left me drained
It's my living nightmare
this mirage I had to maintain
my constant headache
my living talking migraine

tonight, I'm breaking free of these chains
My conscious light as a feather  
regret have you enchained
painlessly the weight shifted
As if my wills lifted by a crane
This relationshit's over
go drown in your tears acid rain

This letter I write to you, with my heart turned to stone
Empty this cave of sorrow, without your guiding light
This empty dark abyss, no longer feels like a home
Your voicemail on repeat, craving your voice
Bereft of choice, I scream at my phone

I love you! You the air that I breathe
Your name sweetened my life
Now a suffocating vice ,  I choke when I speak
Our love severed, by our bond it bleeds
From the broken promises it seeps
Cuts left wounds deep, left defeated and weak
Trying to remove the knife you stabbed me with
Tears me to tears when I feel

I thought our love was unique

You lifted the veil from my eyes
Happiness I no longer see
Replacing your love with hate
So I can finally be set free

This final letter, the beginning of peace
Breathe, I wipe my saddened tears
Erased from my scars, as I click delete

People say they lost in the dark
What a absurd fable
dark is the absence of light
Just light a candle

The only constant is change
Change is the only constant
What about death
The human caution

Reality is distorted
what we emotionally feel
paints the portrait
What you recall
could be wrongly recorded

Does this add to misunderstanding
Is it  life being too demanding
Rise above, be upstanding
Don't fly off the wheel
Without understanding

I called on him a few times
During low and highs
He does not reply
Does it mean he don't exist
Or severed my contact line
Left with no answers
I rely on my unanswered mind

This become confusing
causes confusion
when you left computing
racism, wars & intolerance
leaves you assuming
producing,
the flat earth no mask wearing
human

I stand on a frozen lakes ledge, staring Into the cold eyes of darkness
It whispers it loves me, while clutching my bleeding heart
Daggers through my frailty, tearing our paradise apart
Our love use to harmonize
Promises you made, a masquerade of truths
Our fairytale, storybook lies.

Your honied kisses sweetened my dreams
In nightmares now your name I scream
In our world, you were made my queen
What stands before me in tears
A lying angel, a crying fiend.

You wont see me cry
I hide my tears in the downpour
You were suppose to be my savior
All you are is a lie

You the schism that split me
You caused this divide
Bitter tonight my lullaby
On my knees, I say good bye.

I get lost on your curvaceous silhouette
Whispered calls to my heart on the backdrop of a starry night sky.
A galaxy of awaiting wonder

A journey I willingly venture on.
Swim in your sweet essence, sip on the nectar of your intoxicating love.
Your flowing hair red as mars, cascading as the milky way

Your eyes where my paradise lies, brighter than the brightest stars.
Radiating beauty, it lights even the darkest hour of my life.

You are my earthly Angel, even the heavens adorned our union.

Our growing love like the universe ever expanding.
Together hand in hand, with locked lips ascend beyond time.

Death calls silently from the distant abyss
Angelic voice of freedom sincere
This ailing body my minds prisoner
Living longer a constant fear

Songs of jolly laced the night
Thought of regret my only sight
Longing for end my companion
Longing for a loving touch my plight

They sing of joy, happiness and giving
Yet they forget their neighbors, family and living
Laughter sounds like blades singing
How loves embrace I'm wishing

With every drawn breath
I feel I'm cheating death.
I see beauty in nothingness.
Arms openly waiting to be fetched.
The world I detest, steals your youth.
Then send you lonely to rest.

This mirrored image staring back at me
I don't know who she is.
Loneliness the title of her memoirs  
I don't recognize the scars.

The world a limitless ocean of chaos
Yet, we joyful willing to drown.
Sing the halls of nights so lonely
This my only Christmas song