I simply asked if you want an extra platter
Not are you getting fatter

starlights in the dark
passing visions of cosmos
without us, blindness

blue of our planet
birthplace depository
we must fathom

sea at night brings fear
sea in day invites playing
could drown in either

Not saying I’m old but my SSN is in Roman numerals

life outweighs my years
it resides inside like sap
memories drying

life outweighs my years
it resides inside like sap
memories drying

In placid setting of field and sky
A windless moment be stills my time
I think of you pasted to the scene
With but the depth of a silhouette

Is our love just as shallow
A coating on pastoral image
Penurious daubing
Of an artist’s afterthoughts

I want to shatter through
Shout in the stillness
Puncture the protective colors
Feel the other side of me

Is this just momentary doubt
Is my mind suddenly deadlocked
Or is this a dreadful insight
Into a frightful reality

A breeze unexpectedly occurs
Clouds are moving
Grass is waving
A painting becomes a movie

I immediately inhale the vision of you
With a renewed vitality
Floods of emotions fill me
We’re again in joyous sync with the world

I carry analog collections of myself
From moment to moment
With imperfect memories
And slightly altered desires

Now here’s the mystery
How much of me
Must there have been
To retain my identity

my regrets collect in my heart
like acid rain
engulfing and destroying
the nice memories

Am I but a shadow, a silhouette?
If I step into the light, will I reveal myself
Or will I disappear?

Do I exist between worlds of light?
Am I just a bookmark betwixt meaningful pages?
Or do I inhabit a unique world of my own?

Has my ego been fabricated
By life-long skewed narration
Were analyses properly weighted
To account for complex variation

Can one know if such revelation
Is possible to discern
When id dictates self-adulation
Deception lies at every turn

I suppose I must accept the inevitable.
I’ll never fully meet myself,
ever a stranger to me and others,
an unread book upon the shelf.

- But in retrospect, I was never up to *****
  Of all the stuff
  I never loved enough

Seeing life’s colors flutter afar
Trapping beauty in labeled jar

Jesus Christ, man
I'm talking to you
pay attention

I just love laughter
moments when pain’s forgotten
joy bubbles from soul

am I slipping off the shelf
is it the end of self

"Later"

the sea winds ******* kisses
promise exotic isles
please kiss me
and just promise me you

it was the dying of my innocence
the end of artless play
a consciousness of gender
that remains this very day

a yearning for carnal pleasure
that underlies all social contact
awakening and altering my senses
couldn’t foresee its total impact

there are stages of development
where there is no turning back
that forever change your journey
and put you on a different track

silent library
those unspoken words on shelves
I ache to voice them

A fire turns to red
Just before it starts to end
Has our love reached so
Has our passion passed through blue
Is it the cooling of us

Mirror, where has youth fled
Is it hiding in this wrinkled head

fly below tree tops, lest hawks espy
but learn to soar before you die

fly below tree tops, lest hawks espy
but learn to soar before you die

rivers run downstream
sharp objects smooth over time
pain tumbles away

On the feast that is romance
In my father’s day, it was spooning
Nowadays, it’s forking

running at the pace of fear
got to get out of here
make no sound lest they hear

the night wind rustles
fool, to go so deep in woods
oh please, be a dream

the night wind rustles
fool, to go so deep in woods
oh please, be a dream

It was a placid scene
So serene

I was transfixed between
The why and me
The sky and sea

Between blue and green
Aquamarine

It was a placid scene
So serene

I was transfixed between
The why and me
The sky and sea

Between blue and green
Aquamarine

summer laughter sings
until winter brings its chill
icy silence forms

Am I but a shadow, a silhouette?
If I step into the light, will I reveal myself
Or will I disappear?

Do I exist between worlds of light?
Am I just a bookmark betwixt meaningful pages?
Or do I inhabit a unique world of my own?

How does a shadow become enlightened?
How does a note become a tune?
Do I need others to complete me?

I suddenly realize I’m but a shadow
All my sun-filled days are behind me
My world is a world of shadows
It’s now only me not we

Hard to nest when so many trees have died
My forest is thinning
I’m on the wing but can’t stay aflight
Too long a journey from my beginning

I still look for others but to no avail
They are all on the other side of me
A veil separates our worlds
Often yearn for an eternal sea

My memories are fading
Just snatches of recall
Harder to feel past emotions
Yesterdays behind a wall

Is there any reason to slog on
To search for destinations
No longer seek a voice to hear
Let alone have conversations

Let the shadows consume me
Let me enter the dimming light
My days are drawing near
It’s time for the dreamless night

Isn’t it the ultimate irony that as the universe is expanding,
I am shrinking?
Am I devolving into my own black hole?
My memories of past friends and loved ones are sadly fading.
I am constantly relearning old facts to refresh my perception of the world.
My present is consuming my past with inexorable appetite
Why plan for the future when I’m doing all I can to cling to the present?
Is my sense of self imploding?
Am I becoming Ozymandias without a reputation to boast?
Don’t pity me because all of you will suffer the same fate.
Know only that I feel for you and mourn your loss.

I see you from afar
At a dance or at a fair
Even here in this bar
Could be anywhere

You’re in a different class
We’re vast worlds apart
I drink you in my glass
You’re ever in my heart

You’re the girl I’ll never get
Too pretty and too nice
It’s the longest shot, and yet
Maybe one day you’ll think twice

I see you from afar
At a dance or at a fair
Even here in this bar
Could be anywhere

You’re in a different class
We’re vast worlds apart
I drink you in my glass
You’re ever in my heart

You’re the girl I’ll never get
Too pretty and too nice
It’s the longest shot, and yet
Maybe one day you’ll think twice

fill this black space with light
bring your day to my endless night

pour your feelings into this empty jar
enter my firmament as a star

caress my soul with loving grace
comfort me to another place

let me reunite with my trusting youth
have faith again in eternal truth

see afresh the morning promise
destroy in me the doubting thomas

bring calm to hidden rages
help me through the final stages

assuage all the lingering pain
return sanity to this fevered brain

I want to live with you forever
to be full partner in joint endeavor

When I awoke this morning, I slammed the door on yesterday
It could’ve happened at any moment
You know how every moment fights for survival,
Wants to create its own memory
Well, I decided to **** it dead and all of the other moments
Erase the disk, maybe get a new hard drive

This day will be my own creation
Not shaped by my yesterdays
My future is for once truly my own
I will knead my imagination
And sculpt a new me
I don’t need historical form blocks

You know what they say
The sculptor carefully removes all that shouldn’t be
To find the perfect statue that remains

Grab a line and hold on tight,
The ocean’s screaming in the wind.

The salt is stinging my blurring eyes.
My wet body is numbing my bones,

The ship is moaning with the strain.
Its bow is dipping in the waves.

The halyards are whipping against the mast.
Sails are shredding.

But wait, I’m here on the beach.
There is no storm, no ship in sight.

Is this my mind in dreadful turmoil?
Do I fear an impending fate?

Can I secure myself to an inner core?
Can I save myself?

it’s as if the sun is sleeping
its fearful tears are leaping
the sound of staccato weeping

bursts of fluttering
sparrows perk the morning sky
great start summer day

daylight scorching close
draining last remnant moisture
let’s drink from the night

Rose early, fixed me a cup of coffee
Sitting on my back porch
Watching the awakening sun
Filter through the grove
Bringing light and a trace of warmth

Once again miss your sleepy snuggle
And sweet morning kiss
My arms felt especially empty today
Would have been our 40th
Vile cancer took you some 5 years ago

Sometimes, I wish I had not risen
Just lay in bed with dreams of you
But life screams the futility of that
Rue we had no children
But a few friends remain

Am I becoming more like the silent trees
Less able to speak with others
Lonely citadels to the noise of the day
Half-seeing and half-feeling
If only I could pull up the covers of night

We have evolved, you and I.
When first we met, we were merely cartoons.
Now we are portraits.

From silhouettes to textured shadows,
We have added colors and hues to our relationship.

We have managed to jump the branes to different dimensions.
We live in a different world from other people, private and intimate.

Did we at first skate past each other on icy ponds, before we felt the warmth of one another? Did our images and souls meld in the chill air?

How have our wild neurons grasped the reality of our love?
How did we roil up our emotions to break the impassive surface?

Are you merely an extension of my dreams and delusions?
Do we love each other or only love the perception of each other?
As the philosopher George Berkeley conjectured,
the only reality may just be a perception.

But if that is so, I don’t care. My only reality is here with you.
Whether it’s a dream or not, it’s the world I want to inhabit forever.

waiting for the rip
from the swell that births the wave
embrace its power

Why such a reluctance to speak?
Do I fear the damage I’ll wreak?

Am I just too lazy,
my thoughts too hazy?

Do I avoid a revealing,
to share a shameful feeling?

Do I do it to be polite,
or afraid to air insight?

Is it inability to articulate,
emotions too difficult to particulate?

Is my life too internal,
an unwritten journal

Will I die a stranger to all,
my existence in tacit free fall?

Is my life a secret scrawl,
scratched in eternal stonewall?

Oh my dear, please tell me true
Perhaps I’m just feeling blue
But is my fear undue
Am I loved by you

I admit I have no clue
Maybe it’s the fifth brew
But I sense we’re through
Tell me, am I loved by you

It’s not just a point of view
There’s not been a recent *****
Forgive, it’s not the way to woo
But, am I loved by you

Not as if I caught the flu
We used to be like Elmer’s glue
Now you prefer eschew
For god’s sake, am I loved by you

It used to be “those two”
Most everyone knew
We were a crew
Don’t delay your answer, am I loved by you

Has a secret lover scored a coup
Is it time to say adieu
Is this an affair I’ll forever rue
Please, am I loved by you

Tell me true

It was friction free,
did we slip into love?
Could this be;
what could I be thinking of?

It was at a neighbor’s party,
she was a friend of a friend.
Someone was being arty.
Our winks met in a condescend.

We flirted.
Her eyes were warm and knowing.
Our partners were averted.
Latent passions were growing.

I felt a primal urge.
There was something ****** in her smile.
My pulse began to surge.
It was wonderfully juvenile.

I embraced her laugh.
I envisioned her lovely body.
I guiltily checked for my other half.
Was this something suddenly shoddy?

It was getting too strong.
Was there a turning back?
We probably both knew it was wrong,
but we were on greased track.

Our partners found us.
Did they notice our tête-à-tête?
If they did there was no fuss.
We all agreed the party was great.

I still think of her
and what might have been.
Was it the gin?
Was it a sin?
Is this just how random lives spin?

All right we had a row
That I won’t disavow
Between me and my lovely frau
God, she had a cow

Over some silly matter
I didn’t say she was getting fatter
At least it wasn’t directly at her
Just mentioned she could use a bigger platter

Get out, you coldhearted *******
Go out again and just get plastered
Too much pride to see a pastor
This marriage's a total disaster

It’s freezing outside
And that’s not just the downside
I know at home she has cried and cried
And I admit that I lied and lied

What has happened to our loving way
Perhaps I can’t ignore any distressful day
Felt compelled to drag it home in full display
Whine about the unjust pay

I swear I’ll turn things around
Focus on the home ground
Remember what once we found
Recreate something profound

Can’t go home with so much anger
Swimming in a sea of languor

A clenched fist can’t find home in a glove
But an open hand can touch fingers of love

Not sharing morning coffee
Chatting about the coming day
I miss the warm laughter
Over the breakfast tray

The hours ahead seem empty
Sunshine a waste of time
Does it really matter
The sun's daily climb

Perhaps a random dream
Awakened this melancholy
Hard to find a purpose
Today seems empty folly

It’s been three years
Since fate stole her life
Ripped my world apart
And robbed me of my wife

Tomorrow is beyond my view
A wallowing in pointless grief
No longer have a “you”
Even her memory seems too brief

The morning mist moves stealthily through the forest glen
Bringing moisture to every den
The doe and her fawn huddle close to preserve their zen
Hidden far from the world of men

The hunter arises early with eager anticipation
An age-old tradition of human predation
A memory of youthful vacation
Past bonding of a father-son relation

What will happen this fine spring day
Will paths cross in the misty grey
Will tragedy and victory combine in some fateful way
In which direction will fortunes sway

In the silent setting, a shot rang out
The father was late with his warning shout
There was no antler above the gentle snout
Thank god, his son missed in his initial bout

This was not the hunter’s dream
Not the experience he wanted to share
It was so close to be an anguished scream
The hunter muttered a silent prayer

early morning barefoot walk
hear the drumming ocean waves
smell the scattering of kelp

see whiteheads floating out
hear the squawking gulls
hear breaking waves seething ashore

feel cold sand crunch neath toes
burrow them in for a little warmth
you and your board are primed for briny sprint