daylight scorching close
draining last remnant moisture
let’s drink from the night

Rose early, fixed me a cup of coffee
Sitting on my back porch
Watching the awakening sun
Filter through the grove
Bringing light and a trace of warmth

Once again miss your sleepy snuggle
And sweet morning kiss
My arms felt especially empty today
Would have been our 40th
Vile cancer took you some 5 years ago

Sometimes, I wish I had not risen
Just lay in bed with dreams of you
But life screams the futility of that
Rue we had no children
But a few friends remain

Am I becoming more like the silent trees
Less able to speak with others
Lonely citadels to the noise of the day
Half-seeing and half-feeling
If only I could pull up the covers of night

We have evolved, you and I.
When first we met, we were merely cartoons.
Now we are portraits.

From silhouettes to textured shadows,
We have added colors and hues to our relationship.

We have managed to jump the branes to different dimensions.
We live in a different world from other people, private and intimate.

Did we at first skate past each other on icy ponds, before we felt the warmth of one another? Did our images and souls meld in the chill air?

How have our wild neurons grasped the reality of our love?
How did we roil up our emotions to break the impassive surface?

Are you merely an extension of my dreams and delusions?
Do we love each other or only love the perception of each other?
As the philosopher George Berkeley conjectured,
the only reality may just be a perception.

But if that is so, I don’t care. My only reality is here with you.
Whether it’s a dream or not, it’s the world I want to inhabit forever.

waiting for the rip
from the swell that births the wave
embrace its power

Why such a reluctance to speak?
Do I fear the damage I’ll wreak?

Am I just too lazy,
my thoughts too hazy?

Do I avoid a revealing,
to share a shameful feeling?

Do I do it to be polite,
or afraid to air insight?

Is it inability to articulate,
emotions too difficult to particulate?

Is my life too internal,
an unwritten journal

Will I die a stranger to all,
my existence in tacit free fall?

Is my life a secret scrawl,
scratched in eternal stonewall?

Oh my dear, please tell me true
Perhaps I’m just feeling blue
But is my fear undue
Am I loved by you

I admit I have no clue
Maybe it’s the fifth brew
But I sense we’re through
Tell me, am I loved by you

It’s not just a point of view
There’s not been a recent *****
Forgive, it’s not the way to woo
But, am I loved by you

Not as if I caught the flu
We used to be like Elmer’s glue
Now you prefer eschew
For god’s sake, am I loved by you

It used to be “those two”
Most everyone knew
We were a crew
Don’t delay your answer, am I loved by you

Has a secret lover scored a coup
Is it time to say adieu
Is this an affair I’ll forever rue
Please, am I loved by you

Tell me true

It was friction free,
did we slip into love?
Could this be;
what could I be thinking of?

It was at a neighbor’s party,
she was a friend of a friend.
Someone was being arty.
Our winks met in a condescend.

We flirted.
Her eyes were warm and knowing.
Our partners were averted.
Latent passions were growing.

I felt a primal urge.
There was something ****** in her smile.
My pulse began to surge.
It was wonderfully juvenile.

I embraced her laugh.
I envisioned her lovely body.
I guiltily checked for my other half.
Was this something suddenly shoddy?

It was getting too strong.
Was there a turning back?
We probably both knew it was wrong,
but we were on greased track.

Our partners found us.
Did they notice our tête-à-tête?
If they did there was no fuss.
We all agreed the party was great.

I still think of her
and what might have been.
Was it the gin?
Was it a sin?
Is this just how random lives spin?

All right we had a row
That I won’t disavow
Between me and my lovely frau
God, she had a cow

Over some silly matter
I didn’t say she was getting fatter
At least it wasn’t directly at her
Just mentioned she could use a bigger platter

Get out, you coldhearted *******
Go out again and just get plastered
Too much pride to see a pastor
This marriage's a total disaster

It’s freezing outside
And that’s not just the downside
I know at home she has cried and cried
And I admit that I lied and lied

What has happened to our loving way
Perhaps I can’t ignore any distressful day
Felt compelled to drag it home in full display
Whine about the unjust pay

I swear I’ll turn things around
Focus on the home ground
Remember what once we found
Recreate something profound

Can’t go home with so much anger
Swimming in a sea of languor

A clenched fist can’t find home in a glove
But an open hand can touch fingers of love

Not sharing morning coffee
Chatting about the coming day
I miss the warm laughter
Over the breakfast tray

The hours ahead seem empty
Sunshine a waste of time
Does it really matter
The sun's daily climb

Perhaps a random dream
Awakened this melancholy
Hard to find a purpose
Today seems empty folly

It’s been three years
Since fate stole her life
Ripped my world apart
And robbed me of my wife

Tomorrow is beyond my view
A wallowing in pointless grief
No longer have a “you”
Even her memory seems too brief

The morning mist moves stealthily through the forest glen
Bringing moisture to every den
The doe and her fawn huddle close to preserve their zen
Hidden far from the world of men

The hunter arises early with eager anticipation
An age-old tradition of human predation
A memory of youthful vacation
Past bonding of a father-son relation

What will happen this fine spring day
Will paths cross in the misty grey
Will tragedy and victory combine in some fateful way
In which direction will fortunes sway

In the silent setting, a shot rang out
The father was late with his warning shout
There was no antler above the gentle snout
Thank god, his son missed in his initial bout

This was not the hunter’s dream
Not the experience he wanted to share
It was so close to be an anguished scream
The hunter muttered a silent prayer

early morning barefoot walk
hear the drumming ocean waves
smell the scattering of kelp

see whiteheads floating out
hear the squawking gulls
hear breaking waves seething ashore

feel cold sand crunch neath toes
burrow them in for a little warmth
you and your board are primed for briny sprint

early morning barefoot walk
hear the drumming ocean waves
smell the scattering of kelp

see whiteheads floating out
hear the squawking gulls
hear breaking waves seething ashore

feel cold sand crunch neath toes
burrow them in for a little warmth
you and your board are primed for briny sprint

Floating like flotsam in the space-time-continuum,
tethered only by a gossamer sense of self,
how important could I be?

I dropped it in the wishing well
May it sink straight to hell
Inside my heart an anguished yell
No romantic knell of wedding bell
Only an engagement ring fell

you stole my heart like an eagle
will you take it to your aerie
to rip in shreds and devour
my final ecstasy

shadows erasing sunfilled day
inking in the night

did not hear you come
footfall of a butterfly
love comes silently

I must confess, I've always loved you from afar.
Obviously, not far enough.
No, seriously, I dream of you.
And that's the only way you'll ever sleep with me.

was it, is it
worth it

scratch deep my surface
know a furnace roars within
fear my eruptions

dewdrops on dead leaves
windblown seeds on rock debris
not everything grows

dewdrops on dead leaves
windblown seeds on rock debris
not everything grows

dewdrops on dead leaves
windblown seeds on rock debris
not everything grows

yesterdays, crumpled, tossed away
littering my life

Near cool running waters,
I contemplate life’s stream.
With two caring daughters,
later years have been a dream.

After months, my wife went under,
cancer stopped her flow.
To the end she was a wonder,
her family in safe tow.

I miss her at the river side,
and in every little eddy.
She navigated with sailor pride,
her course was always steady.

I was supposed to be the captain,
but relied on my first mate.
She sensed my skills were latent,
and so kept our vessel straight.

When I reach the final shore,
and cinch the mooring tether,
She’ll greet me at Neptune’s door,
with eternal sailing weather.

With this ring I thee wed
Until I'm dead
Did you hear what I just said
I must be out of my head

Oh lunar beauty don’t go
You rarely visit in the day
You’re often gone when I awake
You shine when I’m away

You dance among the stars
While I must dance alone
I seek your reflected wisdom
So we can share heaven’s throne

We’ll rule with blended passion
From cool blue to heated yellow
All on earth will benefit
From despondent lass to hopeful fellow

I’ve loved you from afar
I know our worlds align
Please don’t ignore my plea
We're fated to be divine

solitary bird
winging across ashen sky
every nest gone

Like wild horses,
we race together across vast plains.
When summer comes,
we graze joyfully in flowered domains.

In winter’s rains,
we nuzzle neath protective cover,
a cave, a canopy,
just a love and lover.

We’re a team,
we’re a pairing,
no one’s controlling us,
no reins we’re wearing.

It’s freedom we enjoy,
untethered by superficial rules.
Our hearts joined in courage,
not in herds of timid fools.

tree winds rustle through
the bleakness of the winter
the sound of dying

The gray sky weeps because the summer sun
waved goodbye with sunburnt hand
Now, winter reaches in with icy fingers
to numb the land

All the summer bounty will be washed away
by this winter’s rain-sloshed earth
Giving birth to months of dearth

So too my love you have deprived me
inner warmth even as you depart
Leaving me with shivering heart

Is there good reason for such dreadful season
Do you plan an annual return
Lest I learn to fathom what you yearn

Tell me what I need to do
To retain the heat of you
Are you just a fair-weather friend
Have you brought our summer to an end

First, there is the inner world,
a wild electric universe of neurons
that miraculously grasps the reality of me.

Then there is the world of you and me,
an intimate involvement of emotions and senses;
a world within worlds, where I long to stay as long as possible.

And, of course, the world of family and friends,
whom I view in imperfect reflections and impressions,
in prisms of biased, fragmented judgments, memories and feelings.

Then there is the world of others, most of those like distant planets as Pluto, are assuredly not what they first seem to be.

All these worlds are shaped by my perceptions, schooled by unfinished studies and ignorant appreciations of art.

Am I totally adrift in these universes? Should I cling to comfortable worlds where I can find solace and absence of fear?

A comprehension of these various worlds is unsettling and beyond my limited ability. I am spinning and orbiting among dark energy and dark matter and I will never fully understand the light.