memories floating inside me
realities and fantasies
rational schemes, exotic dreams
depressions and ecstasies

thin boundaries betwixt sane and insane
betwixt outer worlds and imagination
my life yet subject to questioning
has it all been scattered fragmentation

have I really been the driver
or merely an altered passenger
have I dined and feasted in life’s meal
or merely been a scavenger

am I ee’r recreating my biography
do I even remember what was true
perhaps not best to query
fore I will have lost the love of you

There’s a madness within
that roils my soul,
and entreats me beyond safe confines.

What is it that pushes me to the edge of the mountain
tempting me to jump
and end the uncertainty?

It’s not just wanderlust,
not just a desire for peril.
It’s a quest past aching to outright pain.

Let me jump the brane from internal peace to the terror beyond.
Can’t wait for unknowable possibilities.
Can no longer sail with prevailing winds.

I must hurl myself into the typhoon.

the sound of dripping
after a mid-morning rain
trees now awaken

hushed patter of rain
filtering through canopy
morning breathes awake

Time falls with the indifference of rain
Pelting my consciousness with scattered memories
Dampening enthusiasm for tomorrow

Without permission, it links my past to the present
Making me an unwilling chronicler
Providing transient purpose and meaning to an uncaring universe

As I looked at you today,
I realize that I do not see you as a whole.
It’s as if I’m studying a mosaic.

Although I love you totally,
I really study you in segments
which I color-in with memories and perceptions.

Do I require the multitudinous eye of an insect
to fully capture your image?
Must I always encapsulate you in past and present feelings?

Then it dawned that this is the way
In which I see all of reality.
In this universe of mysteries, I’m always filling in.

We swim in a murky sea of ignorance
Where nothing is crystal clear.
We must always daub vision with our imagination.

We always combine our senses to augment
the imperfect images we see,
otherwise, all are smeared and tapered at the edges.

We've learned to live with this partial blindness,
like crawling creatures of the inky deep.

Yes, our mind is free to roam
In consciousness or dreamlike state
But its journey is limited like a moth in a jar

Perhaps I’m skating over an icy heart
Will she ever feel my warmth

she shivered like a summer rose
in its first winter wind
oh, why did I scold
in a voice so cold

disturb molecules
let’s get the body moving
it is a cold world

full moon, a mirror for the sun
would that it also be a reflection of my love
the stars your glittering necklace

our orbits have conjoined
comet interludes
forever linked in time and space

let us together travel
this universe
a magic magnetic journey

fly atop my hand
brings a brisk reactive slap
oh merciless god

E’er the Side of the Pane Where Raindrops run
Neath Frigid Moon or Searing Sun

Out of Focus in a Crowd
A Null A Void A Nameless Shroud

An Unread Map with no Relief
No Mountains of Joy no Vales of Grief

Spent Items in a Grocery Cart
Hunger Pangs and Aching Heart

Trepidations and Chilling Frights
Nightmares in Perilous Nights

Robotic Sounds of Traffic Whine
Background Noise to Self Decline

A Wine Soaked Erosion of Young Ambition
A Numbing of all Volition

My Sullen Steps in Alleyways
Endless Nights and Endless Days

Will I ever see a HUE in Grey
Will I ever find a YOU in They

two kittens mewing
softened sounds in quiet den
mommy’s on the hunt

I carry analog collections of myself
From moment to moment
With imperfect memories
And slightly altered desires

Now here’s the mystery
How much of me
Must there be
To retain my identity

I carry analog collections of myself
From moment to moment
With imperfect memories
And slightly altered desires

Now here’s the mystery
How much of me
Must there be
To retain my identity

Foolish to seek feeling from the great beyond
Explore as you might this murky pond
It’s only the tadpole next to you who can respond

Inhale all my love
If you can find me in the wind
if I but whisper
can you hear me in the din
Find me among the strangers

Can you not see me
A silhouette betwixt you and the vision you seek
A mere shadow behind a shadow
Just a whisper in the noise

If you gazed your light, would I disappear
If I screamed a feeling, would you hear
Perhaps in another sphere
I fear you’ll never know I’m here

In the shallow of my sadness
At the outer edge of madness
I remember you

I see you laughing in the rain
You’re forever singing in my brain
I remember you

Can’t forget the warm texture of your skin
You invade whatever mood I’m in
I remember you

My world capsized when you died
I fled but could not hide
You’re so very deep inside
I remember you

Who's using all of the toothpaste? Why so much blood in the sink?

there's birth and death in every moment
no meaning unless you make
a necklace of those beads

Oh bountiful joy tumble down.
Cascade to my heart
and roil up my soul.
Fill me to the perimeter
and strain me to burst.

I know you are ephemeral
and may never come again,
so know that I’ll relish you
like the firefly you are.

the arrogance of power
the humility of service

Most think of knowledge as light
But it really thrives at night
When thoughts flow like comet flight

A spark unseen has no meaning
Memory soon after its birth is weaning
The mind is ever cleaning

Only at night can ideas unite
Sometimes in nightmarish fright
They clash to provide insight

An abnormal mixture of bric-a-brac
May upset the normal track
Cause a forgotten flashback

A juxtaposition of random visions
Provides meaningful collisions
Will form constructive revisions

So, submit to the fearful dream
Give in to its varied scheme
You may find life's underlying theme

we’ve chosen our crops
now come turn the fields with me
our bounty will grow

Gulls squawking complaints
against the ocean
washing o’er tasty sandcrabs
with its perfunctory motion

On barefeet, I trod the damp
and crunchy sand,
drawing closer to the water,
smelling the kelp infested land

Someday I’ll travel far
Sail to distant places
Wash off this grit and tar
Find what another shore replaces

In the meantime,
breathe deep the morning air
Feel the awakening of day
Subdue this wanderlust prayer

The horizon will be there tomorrow
No urgency to flee
The ocean e’er eases my sorrow
I’ll always yearn for the sea

Why did I stray from familiar path
There was safety in the light
Now darkness has overtook
Predators lurk in the night

Deep into the woods I’ve roamed
Amidst the rustling trees
Attuned to every chirping sound
How sinister the sudden breeze

In foolish disregard I drifted
In pursuit of wanton dreams
Do I hear a siren’s call
Or is it a victim’s screams

Oh I wish I could return
To the sanity of day
Filled with loves and likes
Not this pernicious grey

I must burst through the darkened grove
Free my mind of fear
Re-attach myself to the core of you
Enfold in your courageous sphere

Cotton candy amidst the blue
Warm sun and breezes too
A flowered field in meadow vast
Children’s laughter from afar
Catching butterflies in a jar
A comedy in midsummer’s cast

You stand beside me in my dream
Pale pink lips, skin like cream
Your yellow hair in captured sunlight
I wish I could kiss you now
Brush the loose strand from your brow
And retrieve you from the eternal night

I know this is make believe
For even now I grieve
Your passing was sudden swift
I have these moments of recall
Life was shattered last fall
My balance made a tragic shift

If ever there were afterlife
I’d ask you again to be my wife
But my gut tells me we were happenstance
All subject to toil and strife
With precious moments of happy life
Should be grateful for the chance

Your love, mine at last
Captured from moon shadows
My heart is now filled with sunlight

When first we spoke
Your voice was but a whisper from afar
But every day since, I've heard your private words

You soared so high above me
I never saw your back
Now together we share the sky

If you but knew
How today my joy is so complete
I never lived till now

If ever I dreamt you stopped loving me
I would never sleep again
You must know you sustain me

come find me
my heart is open for love
its single string seeks harmony

I need a companion for my journey
otherwise, what matters the path
there’s no comfort in a herd, only security

there’s no joy in laughing in the wind
nor solace from crying in the dark
beauty is meant for sharing

I’m tired of living among shadows
shadows  have no warmth
shadows cannot touch

You have me walking on love’s keen edge
Teetering on a perilous ledge

I fear I’m near insane
Head’s bursting with fevered brain

I’ve been hurt before
Dare I relaunch from safety’s shore

Am I strong enough to weather storm
Shall I cower within a certain norm

Am I still a babe seeking breast
Is there a hero’s heart in my chest

What’s wrong with me to have such fear
Is it want or need in my deepest sphere
If there’s one thing clear
It’s that I ache to have you here, my dear

Moonlight seeping in the darkened sky
Meekly peering through dappled cover
Invokes in me a plaintive sigh
The memory of a forlorn lover

She too was distant and obscure
Hiding feelings behind a misty drape
Still there always was that allure
Entrapping me with no escape

Wish I could’ve focused her sight
Brushed aside that cloudy veil
Amplified her inner bright
Brought color to her dismal pale

Alas, it was a losing cause
The twilight dimmed the setting sun
Perhaps there were celestial laws
That altered our orbit’s run

moon sleeping in lake
stars and fireflies glittering
entranced by night lights

All our lives are traced in water
But some are etched in loving memories

your love awoke me like morning
silently quietly persistently

it slowly warmed me
from head to toe, to and fro

it pushed me into day
from a reluctant night

it brought me sight
gently into light

you have birthed my joy

she sees and watches
reflecting my history
stretching her vision

she sees and watches
reflecting my history
stretching her vision

Where’s my buddy who eased my tension
Perhaps chasing ***** in another dimension

Seeking me among the stars

time for me is near
born in water, die in sand
a blink in God’s eye

time for me in sight
born in water, die in sand
a blink in God’s eye

I love to hold you near
Kiss your throat
Kiss your ear

I can feel your inner self
Can find your impish elf
When we tumble from our daily shelf

We strip away perfunctory grace
I can trace your wondrous face
We reach an enchanting place

In quiet moments of the day
Sometimes, when we’re at play
We anchor in this intimate bay

But it’s really in the night
In the dimming softness of the light
That troubles oft take flight

It’s the greatest of life’s pleasure
It stretches wide our love’s full measure
It’s a place I’ll always treasure

you are a sun
erasing all my shadows

you are a river’s run
tumbling away stony pain

you are summer fun
warming winter games

you are the only one
who completes me

lingering swamp mist
over silent sentinels
mysteries lie neath

OK, do your worst
Open the earth and spew lava burst

Wrench land between my feet
Split houses and concrete

Howl your wind across the land
Hurl animals and man

Melt snowcaps and ice packs
Raise water levels to the max

Now surge oceans and the seas
Let us drown with weakened knees

Wash the mountains with drying tears
Weeping into wadi spheres

Let loose toxins from below
Poison wells and river flow

Fly insects who gobble farms
That spread disease and raise alarms

All these things I anticipate
I know the power you create

But hear me, we will survive

Is there mocking behind blue skies and fleecy clouds?
Are there silent sneers in the passing crowds?

Do I detect irony in a friendly wink?
Is there disdain from my supporting shrink?

Is there hidden “tolerance” in your loving smile?
Is there a demon growing in our little child?

How can I know with full assurance,
that my knowledge is not a dream?
Is my life a random occurrence,
or just a malevolent scheme?

Will I ever reach a comfort level
that brings serenity to my life?
Is there a merciful god or just a devil
who relishes in our eternal strife?

trapped in dream
can’t dictate theme
often, a silent scream

is this altered reality
flashes of history
hyperbole in mundane potpourri

I roll up the night shade
with all of its drunken memories
the morning sun blasts into my blood-stained eyes
with a stinging that momentarily blinds

is this another loveless day

stars all glittering
dwarfing imagination
we don’t even spark

lonely is the night
darkness separates us all
morning brings new hope