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116 · Jul 2019
Lost Summer
allanbrunmier Jul 2019
Cotton candy amidst the blue
Warm sun and breezes too
A flowered field in meadow vast
Children’s laughter from afar
Catching butterflies in a jar
A comedy in midsummer’s cast

You stand beside me in my dream
Pale pink lips, skin like cream
Your yellow hair in captured sunlight
I wish I could kiss you now
Brush the loose strand from your brow
And retrieve you from the eternal night

I know this is make believe
For even now I grieve
Your passing was sudden swift
I have these moments of recall
Life was shattered last fall
My balance made a tragic shift

If ever there were afterlife
I’d ask you again to be my wife
But my gut tells me we were happenstance
All subject to toil and strife
With precious moments of happy life
Should be grateful for the chance
116 · Aug 2020
Total Surrender
allanbrunmier Aug 2020
you stole my heart like an eagle
will you take it to your aerie
to rip in shreds and devour
my final ecstasy
115 · Oct 2019
Running
allanbrunmier Oct 2019
running at the pace of fear
got to get out of here
make no sound lest they hear
114 · Jun 2020
Twilight
allanbrunmier Jun 2020
shadows erasing sunfilled day
inking in the night
113 · Aug 2019
The Blue Eye
allanbrunmier Aug 2019
Not sharing morning coffee
Chatting about the coming day
I miss the warm laughter
Over the breakfast tray

The hours ahead seem empty
Sunshine a waste of time
Does it really matter
The sun's daily climb

Perhaps a random dream
Awakened this melancholy
Hard to find a purpose
Today seems empty folly

It’s been three years
Since fate stole her life
Ripped my world apart
And robbed me of my wife

Tomorrow is beyond my view
A wallowing in pointless grief
No longer have a “you”
Even her memory seems too brief
113 · Sep 2019
My Hourglass
allanbrunmier Sep 2019
time for me in sight
born in water, die in sand
a blink in God’s eye
112 · Jul 2020
Love’s Arrival
allanbrunmier Jul 2020
Your love, mine at last
Captured from moon shadows
My heart is now filled with sunlight

When first we spoke
Your voice was but a whisper from afar
But every day since, I've heard your private words

You soared so high above me
I never saw your back
Now together we share the sky

If you but knew
How today my joy is so complete
I never lived till now

If ever I dreamt you stopped loving me
I would never sleep again
You must know you sustain me
112 · Jul 2019
Negativity
allanbrunmier Jul 2019
Is there mocking behind blue skies and fleecy clouds?
Are there silent sneers in the passing crowds?

Do I detect irony in a friendly wink?
Is there disdain from my supporting shrink?

Is there hidden “tolerance” in your loving smile?
Is there a demon growing in our little child?

How can I know with full assurance,
that my knowledge is not a dream?
Is my life a random occurrence,
or just a malevolent scheme?

Will I ever reach a comfort level
that brings serenity to my life?
Is there a merciful god or just a devil
who relishes in our eternal strife?
Title is a turn off but I'm just exploring the negative mind
111 · Nov 2020
Dog Show Encounter
allanbrunmier Nov 2020
is your ***** in heat?
you talking to me *******?
no, ma’am, to your dog
110 · Dec 2019
Empty Heart
allanbrunmier Dec 2019
photo in my mind
can't put away in album
love has pasted it
110 · Aug 2019
cry til angels die
allanbrunmier Aug 2019
sorrow flows full force
down through inner valleys
awash o’er empty days
unstopped by pleasant moments

I feel it at times
when the evening is hushed
when I hear you in a distant room
pass a picture longly hung

I see you in my children’s eyes
will often envy another’s hug
yearn to ease this persistent ache
sometimes pray for death to reach your side
109 · Oct 2019
Surfaces
allanbrunmier Oct 2019
We have evolved, you and I.
When first we met, we were merely cartoons.
Now we are portraits.

From silhouettes to textured shadows,
We have added colors and hues to our relationship.

We have managed to jump the branes to different dimensions.
We live in a different world from other people, private and intimate.

Did we at first skate past each other on icy ponds, before we felt the warmth of one another? Did our images and souls meld in the chill air?

How have our wild neurons grasped the reality of our love?
How did we roil up our emotions to break the impassive surface?

Are you merely an extension of my dreams and delusions?
Do we love each other or only love the perception of each other?
As the philosopher George Berkeley conjectured,
the only reality may just be a perception.

But if that is so, I don’t care. My only reality is here with you.
Whether it’s a dream or not, it’s the world I want to inhabit forever.
109 · May 2020
Defrock
allanbrunmier May 2020
Rip the cassock from your body
Tear the robes asunder

Is it a spell you’re under
Or just colossal blunder
108 · Jul 2019
After the Breakup
allanbrunmier Jul 2019
I scrape the bottom of my heart
for any remaining morsel of your love.
I’ve long forgotten the taste of your kiss.

Since the separation,
the image of you has fragmented
into scattered pixels.
I know now that only the frequent
contacts kept the vision of you intact.

The music of your laughter
has dissipated in the daily noise.
Your greeting voice no longer chimes.

It started with an angry word
that pride elevated into something more.
What a fool I was to react that way.
I’m still haunted by that dreadful day.

A year has passed with silent interaction.
I’ve heard you found someone new.
You do deserve much more of life.
My divorce forever robbed me of my wife.
107 · Nov 2020
Unrequited Love
allanbrunmier Nov 2020
I must confess, I've always loved you from afar.
Obviously, not far enough.
No, seriously, I dream of you.
And that's the only way you'll ever sleep with me.
107 · Jul 2019
A Man's Life
allanbrunmier Jul 2019
The *****
The Squirm
The Worm
106 · Dec 2019
Free Will
allanbrunmier Dec 2019
Yes, our mind is free to roam
In consciousness or dreamlike state
But its journey is limited like a moth in a jar
104 · May 2020
Heavenly Attraction
allanbrunmier May 2020
full moon, a mirror for the sun
would that it also be a reflection of my love
the stars your glittering necklace

our orbits have conjoined
comet interludes
forever linked in time and space

let us together travel
this universe
a magic magnetic journey
103 · Jul 2019
Homeless
allanbrunmier Jul 2019
E’er the Side of the Pane Where Raindrops run
Neath Frigid Moon or Searing Sun

Out of Focus in a Crowd
A Null A Void A Nameless Shroud

An Unread Map with no Relief
No Mountains of Joy no Vales of Grief

Spent Items in a Grocery Cart
Hunger Pangs and Aching Heart

Trepidations and Chilling Frights
Nightmares in Perilous Nights

Robotic Sounds of Traffic Whine
Background Noise to Self Decline

A Wine Soaked Erosion of Young Ambition
A Numbing of all Volition

My Sullen Steps in Alleyways
Endless Nights and Endless Days

Will I ever see a HUE in Grey
Will I ever find a YOU in They
Another of my teenage poems
102 · May 2020
Empty Heart
allanbrunmier May 2020
photo in my mind
can’t put away in album
love has pasted it
102 · Aug 2019
Whispers from the Sun
allanbrunmier Aug 2019
Oh lunar beauty don’t go
You rarely visit in the day
You’re often gone when I awake
You shine when I’m away

You dance among the stars
While I must dance alone
I seek your reflected wisdom
So we can share heaven’s throne

We’ll rule with blended passion
From cool blue to heated yellow
All on earth will benefit
From despondent lass to hopeful fellow

I’ve loved you from afar
I know our worlds align
Please don’t ignore my plea
We're fated to be divine
102 · Jul 2020
Forest Sound
allanbrunmier Jul 2020
hushed patter of rain
filtering through canopy
morning breathes awake
101 · Oct 2020
Just Saying
allanbrunmier Oct 2020
the arrogance of power
the humility of service
100 · Sep 2020
Tacit
allanbrunmier Sep 2020
Why such a reluctance to speak?
Do I fear the damage I’ll wreak?

Am I just too lazy,
my thoughts too hazy?

Do I avoid a revealing,
to share a shameful feeling?

Do I do it to be polite,
or afraid to air insight?

Is it inability to articulate,
emotions too difficult to particulate?

Is my life too internal,
an unwritten journal

Will I die a stranger to all,
my existence in tacit free fall?

Is my life a secret scrawl,
scratched in eternal stonewall?
98 · Nov 2020
Poetic Self Portrait
allanbrunmier Nov 2020
I carry analog collections of myself
From moment to moment
With imperfect memories
And slightly altered desires

Now here’s the mystery
How much of me
Must there have been
To retain my identity

my regrets collect in my heart
like acid rain
engulfing and destroying
the nice memories

Am I but a shadow, a silhouette?
If I step into the light, will I reveal myself
Or will I disappear?

Do I exist between worlds of light?
Am I just a bookmark betwixt meaningful pages?
Or do I inhabit a unique world of my own?

Has my ego been fabricated
By life-long skewed narration
Were analyses properly weighted
To account for complex variation

Can one know if such revelation
Is possible to discern
When id dictates self-adulation
Deception lies at every turn

I suppose I must accept the inevitable.
I’ll never fully meet myself,
ever a stranger to me and others,
an unread book upon the shelf.

- But in retrospect, I was never up to *****
  Of all the stuff
  I never loved enough
98 · Apr 2020
cry til angels die
allanbrunmier Apr 2020
sorrow flows full force
down through inner valleys
awash o’er empty days
unstopped by pleasant moments

I feel it at times
when the evening is hushed
when I hear you in a distant room
pass a picture longly hung

I see you in my children’s eyes
will often envy another’s hug
yearn to ease this persistent ache
sometimes pray for death to reach your side
Don’t understand why more people don’t like this, it really touches many feelings.
97 · Feb 2020
Circadian
allanbrunmier Feb 2020
interlocking sight
first day then night
a diminution of the light

the sun brings clarity
darkness uses similarity
there is some parity

vision always seeks verity
97 · Jul 2019
My Beloved Sam
allanbrunmier Jul 2019
Where’s my buddy who eased my tension
Perhaps chasing ***** in another dimension

Seeking me among the stars
97 · Aug 2019
Holy Wrath
allanbrunmier Aug 2019
fly atop my hand
brings a brisk reactive slap
oh merciless god
97 · Nov 2020
Black Lives Matter
allanbrunmier Nov 2020
burst from white cocoon
imagine you have black wings
quite different flight
97 · Nov 2020
Broken Rosary
allanbrunmier Nov 2020
I reflect on my life as episodes
a broken strand
just a handful of beads

was never one to settled in
never one to create an abode
ever seeking a new home

perhaps my loving was too sporadic
lacking a steady current
leaping from spark to spark

always looking ahead
seldom stopping to savor the moment
foolishly ignoring the love of others
94 · Jul 2019
Poets
allanbrunmier Jul 2019
Seeing life’s colors flutter afar
Trapping beauty in labeled jar
94 · May 2020
Starting Over
allanbrunmier May 2020
When I awoke this morning, I slammed the door on yesterday
It could’ve happened at any moment
You know how every moment fights for survival,
Wants to create its own memory
Well, I decided to **** it dead and all of the other moments
Erase the disk, maybe get a new hard drive

This day will be my own creation
Not shaped by my yesterdays
My future is for once truly my own
I will knead my imagination
And sculpt a new me
I don’t need historical form blocks

You know what they say
The sculptor carefully removes all that shouldn’t be
To find the perfect statue that remains
A passing thought
93 · Nov 2020
Prayer in the Wind
allanbrunmier Nov 2020
Jesus Christ, man
I'm talking to you
pay attention
92 · Jun 2020
Flawed Romance
allanbrunmier Jun 2020
memories floating inside me
realities and fantasies
rational schemes, exotic dreams
depressions and ecstasies

thin boundaries betwixt sane and insane
betwixt outer worlds and imagination
my life yet subject to questioning
has it all been scattered fragmentation

have I really been the driver
or merely an altered passenger
have I dined and feasted in life’s meal
or merely been a scavenger

am I ee’r recreating my biography
do I even remember what was true
perhaps not best to query
fore I will have lost the love of you
92 · Aug 2020
My You
allanbrunmier Aug 2020
you are a sun
erasing all my shadows

you are a river’s run
tumbling away stony pain

you are summer fun
warming winter games

you are the only one
who completes me
91 · May 2020
The Sea is Waiting
allanbrunmier May 2020
early morning barefoot walk
hear the drumming ocean waves
smell the scattering of kelp

see whiteheads floating out
hear the squawking gulls
hear breaking waves seething ashore

feel cold sand crunch neath toes
burrow them in for a little warmth
you and your board are primed for briny sprint
90 · Jan 2020
Final Season
allanbrunmier Jan 2020
the shadows whisper
eternal winter is near
summer is dying
90 · Feb 2020
Days End
allanbrunmier Feb 2020
As shadows stretch into night
I contemplate the end of day
All paths regardless of way
Lead to the same darkened site

My loves, pleasures and woes
My regrets, desires and dreams
Flowing in chaotic streams
Eventually reach a final close

The brightness of youth
Burning with a fire of hope
Probable necessity to cope
Slowly absorbs accidental truth

Lust and romance
Draw us to warmth and flame
Steps in an endless game
A must desired musical dance

Ambition and career
An overcoming of insecurity
All a part of one’s maturity
Protecting families of financial fear

In the final hours
It’s all about memories and regrets
Failures to hedge all bets
A solitary accounting of what’s ours
90 · Jul 2019
Mother's eyes
allanbrunmier Jul 2019
she sees and watches
reflecting my history
stretching her vision
89 · Jul 2019
Worlds
allanbrunmier Jul 2019
First, there is the inner world,
a wild electric universe of neurons
that miraculously grasps the reality of me.

Then there is the world of you and me,
an intimate involvement of emotions and senses;
a world within worlds, where I long to stay as long as possible.

And, of course, the world of family and friends,
whom I view in imperfect reflections and impressions,
in prisms of biased, fragmented judgments, memories and feelings.

Then there is the world of others, most of those like distant planets as Pluto, are assuredly not what they first seem to be.

All these worlds are shaped by my perceptions, schooled by unfinished studies and ignorant appreciations of art.

Am I totally adrift in these universes? Should I cling to comfortable worlds where I can find solace and absence of fear?

A comprehension of these various worlds is unsettling and beyond my limited ability. I am spinning and orbiting among dark energy and dark matter and I will never fully understand the light.
89 · Nov 2020
Is Dracula Alive?
allanbrunmier Nov 2020
Who's using all of the toothpaste? Why so much blood in the sink?
89 · Aug 2020
Red the Flame
allanbrunmier Aug 2020
A fire turns to red
Just before it starts to end
Has our love reached so
Has our passion passed through blue
Is it the cooling of us
88 · Jul 2019
A Woman's Life
allanbrunmier Jul 2019
The Womb
The Loom
The Tomb
86 · Sep 2020
Observance
allanbrunmier Sep 2020
starlights in the dark
passing visions of cosmos
without us, blindness
86 · Aug 2019
Soulmate Dream
allanbrunmier Aug 2019
fill this black space with light
bring your day to my endless night

pour your feelings into this empty jar
enter my firmament as a star

caress my soul with loving grace
comfort me to another place

let me reunite with my trusting youth
have faith again in eternal truth

see afresh the morning promise
destroy in me the doubting thomas

bring calm to hidden rages
help me through the final stages

assuage all the lingering pain
return sanity to this fevered brain

I want to live with you forever
to be full partner in joint endeavor
85 · Oct 2019
Winter Departure
allanbrunmier Oct 2019
The gray sky weeps because the summer sun
waved goodbye with sunburnt hand
Now, winter reaches in with icy fingers
to numb the land

All the summer bounty will be washed away
by this winter’s rain-sloshed earth
Giving birth to months of dearth

So too my love you have deprived me
inner warmth even as you depart
Leaving me with shivering heart

Is there good reason for such dreadful season
Do you plan an annual return
Lest I learn to fathom what you yearn

Tell me what I need to do
To retain the heat of you
Are you just a fair-weather friend
Have you brought our summer to an end
85 · Jul 2019
The Sea is Waiting
allanbrunmier Jul 2019
early morning barefoot walk
hear the drumming ocean waves
smell the scattering of kelp

see whiteheads floating out
hear the squawking gulls
hear breaking waves seething ashore

feel cold sand crunch neath toes
burrow them in for a little warmth
you and your board are primed for briny sprint
Written in a contest where the host wanted to bring back memories for his old surfer grandfather
84 · Nov 7
Joy
Joy
Oh bountiful joy tumble down.
Cascade to my heart
and roil up my soul.
Fill me to the perimiter
and strain me to burst.

I know you are ephemeral
and may never come again
so know that I’ll relish you like the firefly you are.
84 · Jul 2019
Scare
allanbrunmier Jul 2019
the night wind rustles
fool, to go so deep in woods
oh please, be a dream
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