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82 · Nov 2020
Cry Til Angels Die
allanbrunmier Nov 2020
sorrow flows full force
down through inner valleys
awash o’er empty days
unstopped by pleasant moments

I feel it at times
when the evening is hushed
when I hear you in a distant room
pass a picture longly hung

I see you in my children’s eyes
will often envy another’s hug
yearn to ease this persistent ache
sometimes pray for death to reach your side
82 · Aug 2020
I'm Here
allanbrunmier Aug 2020
Inhale all my love
If you can find me in the wind
if I but whisper
can you hear me in the din
Find me among the strangers
82 · Jul 2019
Ocean Waves
allanbrunmier Jul 2019
sea at night brings fear
sea in day invites playing
could drown in either
81 · Oct 2020
Life Harvest
allanbrunmier Oct 2020
we’ve chosen our crops
now come turn the fields with me
our bounty will grow
80 · Sep 2020
Doubt
allanbrunmier Sep 2020
Doubt seeped into our "Love"
through momentary crevices
Was that a bad thing
or a necessary respite for passion
- Did she love me
- Did I love her

"Like," however, is an easier terrain
Warm and comfortable
But, even here, doubt can corrupt
- Did she like me
- Did I like her

Is doubt a sudden lack of courage
or a necessary safe check
to jar the sense of reality
and test a relationship

I should not have expressed my doubt
Some thoughts are best hidden
Our relationship was severed
I could not mend it

Doubt should be contemplated in silence
It's often a temporary condition
Best not allow it to force an emotional decision
A sleeping dog can ruin even puppy love

I’ve learned my lesson
Doubt can cause the deepest hurt
79 · Jul 2019
Memorial
allanbrunmier Jul 2019
All our lives are traced in water
But some are etched in loving memories
79 · Nov 2020
Identity
allanbrunmier Nov 2020
I carry analog collections of myself
From moment to moment
With imperfect memories
And slightly altered desires

Now here’s the mystery
How much of me
Must there be
To retain my identity
77 · Oct 2020
Waste
allanbrunmier Oct 2020
dewdrops on dead leaves
windblown seeds on rock debris
not everything grows
76 · Aug 2020
Wasted Life
allanbrunmier Aug 2020
yesterdays, crumpled, tossed away
littering my life
75 · Jul 2019
Waterways
allanbrunmier Jul 2019
Near cool running waters,
I contemplate life’s stream.
With two caring daughters,
later years have been a dream.

After months, my wife went under,
cancer stopped her flow.
To the end she was a wonder,
her family in safe tow.

I miss her at the river side,
and in every little eddy.
She navigated with sailor pride,
her course was always steady.

I was supposed to be the captain,
but relied on my first mate.
She sensed my skills were latent,
and so kept our vessel straight.

When I reach the final shore,
and cinch the mooring tether,
She’ll greet me at Neptune’s door,
with eternal sailing weather.
74 · Aug 2019
Someday Dream
allanbrunmier Aug 2019
I see you from afar
At a dance or at a fair
Even here in this bar
Could be anywhere

You’re in a different class
We’re vast worlds apart
I drink you in my glass
You’re ever in my heart

You’re the girl I’ll never get
Too pretty and too nice
It’s the longest shot, and yet
Maybe one day you’ll think twice
71 · Apr 2020
Unexpected Visitor
allanbrunmier Apr 2020
did not hear you come
footfall of a butterfly
love comes silently
69 · Aug 2020
Promises
allanbrunmier Aug 2020
the sea winds ******* kisses
promise exotic isles
please kiss me
and just promise me you
65 · Mar 2020
Love Seeker
allanbrunmier Mar 2020
come find me
my heart is open for love
its single string seeks harmony

I need a companion for my journey
otherwise, what matters the path
there’s no comfort in a herd, only security

there’s no joy in laughing in the wind
nor solace from crying in the dark
beauty is meant for sharing

I’m tired of living among shadows
shadows  have no warmth
shadows cannot touch
63 · Mar 2020
Self Reflection
allanbrunmier Mar 2020
Am I but a shadow, a silhouette?
If I step into the light, will I reveal myself
Or will I disappear?

Do I exist between worlds of light?
Am I just a bookmark betwixt meaningful pages?
Or do I inhabit a unique world of my own?

How does a shadow become enlightened?
How does a note become a tune?
Do I need others to complete me?
63 · Apr 2020
Wild Horse Fantasy
allanbrunmier Apr 2020
Like wild horses,
we race together across vast plains.
When summer comes,
we graze joyfully in flowered domains.

In winter’s rains,
we nuzzle neath protective cover,
a cave, a canopy,
just a love and lover.

We’re a team,
we’re a pairing,
no one’s controlling us,
no reins we’re wearing.

It’s freedom we enjoy,
untethered by superficial rules.
Our hearts joined in courage,
not in herds of timid fools.
60 · Mar 2020
Lunar Suffusion
allanbrunmier Mar 2020
Moonlight seeping in the darkened sky
Meekly peering through dappled cover
Invokes in me a plaintive sigh
The memory of a forlorn lover

She too was distant and obscure
Hiding feelings behind a misty drape
Still there always was that allure
Entrapping me with no escape

Wish I could’ve focused her sight
Brushed aside that cloudy veil
Amplified her inner bright
Brought color to her dismal pale

Alas, it was a losing cause
The twilight dimmed the setting sun
Perhaps there were celestial laws
That altered our orbit’s run
60 · Jan 2020
Magic Moment
allanbrunmier Jan 2020
moon sleeping in lake
stars and fireflies glittering
entranced by night lights
60 · Feb 2020
Nature's Secrets
allanbrunmier Feb 2020
lingering swamp mist
over silent sentinels
mysteries lie neath
59 · Apr 2020
Harsh
allanbrunmier Apr 2020
she shivered like a summer rose
in its first winter wind
oh, why did I scold
in a voice so cold
Harsh words to beloved little daughter
59 · Mar 2020
Night Shade
allanbrunmier Mar 2020
I roll up the night shade
with all of its drunken memories
the morning sun blasts into my blood-stained eyes
with a stinging that momentarily blinds

is this another loveless day
59 · Jan 2020
Puberty
allanbrunmier Jan 2020
it was the dying of my innocence
the end of artless play
a consciousness of gender
that remains this very day

a yearning for carnal pleasure
that underlies all social contact
awakening and altering my senses
couldn’t foresee its total impact

there are stages of development
where there is no turning back
that forever change your journey
and put you on a different track
52 · Apr 2020
Huddling
allanbrunmier Apr 2020
two kittens mewing
softened sounds in quiet den
mommy’s on the hunt
46 · Nov 7
Perilous Reaction
with tremulous whisper
I reveal a most precious secret
a chasm of silence suddenly emerges
dumbfounding my confidence

my world is suddenly smaller
I quickly question my guard rails
did I go too far
misjudge a friend’s understanding

did I trust too much
open a wound best left alone
can I reform it into something more mundane
that my friend can safely absorb

I sound guilty of some obscure evil
but it’s long been festering
if my friend can’t accept and tolerate it
what will I do
46 · Nov 7
Uncreative Design
when I view the starry sky
I see no godly guy
I see random scatter
and hidden matter

no evidence of intelligent design
just cold mindless blind
a nuclear stew
a violent brew

don’t mention the big bang
could be there's parallel gang
universes that always were
not requiring an initial stir

man will never last
to fully explore the vast
to understand it all
or explain it in human scrawl
42 · Nov 7
Light and Darkness
In this darkened interlude
of earth and sky
and its kaleidoscope of light
I see the irony

there’s comfort in the handprint of man
but none in the icy coldness
of the void beyond
where its suns shed no warmth

are our feelings only pasted
within the thinness of our earthly envelope
where raindrops birth and drop
and wash them all away

what worth has our ambition
our quest for brief bits of truth
when we perish in a wink of fate
and descendants know us not
33 · Nov 7
Effervescent
born in carbonated bubble in the sea
will burst well below the surface
30 · Nov 7
Feeling Maya
black tears run clear
all blood runs red
many who never jeer
share their dread
wish to assuage their fear
perhaps we can restart this year
30 · Nov 7
Coloring Book
warm crayon images of past loves
have melted under searing scrutiny
of remembered details
28 · Nov 7
Any Requests
We’re frequenting a breakfast café that at times features Xmas tunes by a terrible singer. When the host asked for any requests, my friend said, perhaps I should ask for “The Last Noel!”?
26 · Nov 7
O;d World Glow
vivid oil memories
cascade still in European cities
artistry thrives
through the new centuries
of prosaic replacement
22 · Nov 7
Neighborhood
let me jar your sense
you have to think immense
some say space is 92 billion light years
what if that estimate is far in arrears

first agree something can’t come from nil
and what proves the big bang was the start
perhaps it's just the latest spill
not a whole but a part

space-time involves variation and chance
could explain why totals never tally
seldom find truth at first glance
perspective can reduce any peak to valley

galaxies are fleeing at faster and faster speed
so the red shift tells us so
perhaps dark matter is just residue bled
from a prior but eternal show

sub-particles act differently than regular matter
energy is not fully understood
all I can say about the universal scatter
there goes the neighborhood
17 · Nov 7
Anticipation
your morning greeting lingered all day
it hung in imagined air
have we moved beyond cliché
has fate now answered my fervent prayer
dare I dream a glimpse of care
or perhaps a love affair
15 · Nov 7
Nightly Dramas
As I lie, permitting night’s death to envelop me
I ponder past loves
What uncertain decisions were reached
That enlarged distances between us

Did I allow doubts to seep from crevices
Did I imagine dreadful entanglement
Would I be foregoing greater pleasures
Did I ignore growth potentials

We struggle in random environs
We ruminate over every serious encounter
We must learn to relax our parameters
Allow events to accumulate before judgment

— The End —