There’s a madness within
that roils my soul,
and entreats me beyond safe confines.

What is it that pushes me to the edge of the mountain
tempting me to jump
and end the uncertainty?

It’s not just wanderlust,
not just a desire for peril.
It’s a quest past aching to outright pain.

Let me jump the brane from internal peace to the terror beyond.
Can’t wait for unknowable possibilities.
Can no longer sail with prevailing winds.

I must hurl myself into the typhoon.

Our love is losing its gripping,
like acrobats whose hands are slipping.
We pay too little attention
to each other’s intention.
We ignore the shading
and are too quickly abrading.

What started this downward turn?
Was it a careless spurn?
Was it an angry moment
that began the foment?

What started with loving laughter,
even through the mornings after,
has become at times judgmental,
or what’s worse, inconsequential.

I feel I’m spinning into a cosmic shift,
tumbling freefall from your world, adrift.
Are you pulling from me or am I letting go?
All I know is that it hurts me so.

life outweighs my years
it resides inside like sap
memories drying

Perhaps I’m skating over an icy heart
Will she ever feel my warmth

there's birth and death in every moment
no meaning unless you make
a necklace of those beads

Can you not see me
A silhouette betwixt you and the vision you seek
A mere shadow behind a shadow
Just a whisper in the noise

If you gazed your light, would I disappear
If I screamed a feeling, would you hear
Perhaps in another sphere
I fear you’ll never know I’m here

must you bring a ***** to term
before a butterfly, save the worm

who says save the fetus
the puritanical male elitist

returning to back-alley surgeries
forces craven perjuries

who should call this shot
the one who's pregnant or not

Bam Bam Bam
Mary shot a ***** ram
Unfortunately, caught on videocam
To save her cosset, now SHE'S on the lam

she sees and watches
reflecting my history
stretching her vision

scratch deep my surface
know a furnace roars within
fear my eruptions

It was friction free,
did we slip into love?
Could this be;
what could I be thinking of?

It was at a neighbor’s party,
she was a friend of a friend.
Someone was being arty.
Our winks met in a condescend.

We flirted.
Her eyes were warm and knowing.
Our partners were averted.
Latent passions were growing.

I felt a primal urge.
There was something ****** in her smile.
My pulse began to surge.
It was wonderfully juvenile.

I embraced her laugh.
I envisioned her lovely body.
I guiltily checked for my other half.
Was this something suddenly shoddy?

It was getting too strong.
Was there a turning back?
We probably both knew it was wrong,
but we were on greased track.

Our partners found us.
Did they notice our tête-à-tête?
If they did there was no fuss.
We all agreed the party was great.

I still think of her
and what might have been.
Was it the gin?
Was it a sin?
Is this just how random lives spin?

Grab a line and hold on tight,
The ocean’s screaming in the wind.

The salt is stinging my blurring eyes.
My wet body is numbing my bones,

The ship is moaning with the strain.
Its bow is dipping in the waves.

The halyards are whipping against the mast.
Sails are shredding.

But wait, I’m here on the beach.
There is no storm, no ship in sight.

Is this my mind in dreadful turmoil?
Do I fear an impending fate?

Can I secure myself to an inner core?
Can I save myself?

Not saying I’m old but my SSN is in Roman numerals

Oh bountiful joy tumble down.
Cascade to my heart
and roil up my soul.
Fill me to the perimeter
and strain me to burst.

I know you are ephemeral
and may never come again,
so know that I’ll relish you
like the firefly you are.

Isn’t it the ultimate irony that as the universe is expanding,
I am shrinking?
Am I devolving into my own black hole?
My memories of past friends and loved ones are sadly fading.
I am constantly relearning old facts to refresh my perception of the world.
My present is consuming my past with inexorable appetite
Why plan for the future when I’m doing all I can to cling to the present?
Is my sense of self imploding?
Am I becoming Ozymandias without a reputation to boast?
Don’t pity me because all of you will suffer the same fate.
Know only that I feel for you and mourn your loss.

I just love laughter
moments when pain’s forgotten
joy bubbles from soul

I love to hold you near
Kiss your throat
Kiss your ear

I can feel your inner self
Can find your impish elf
When we tumble from our daily shelf

We strip away perfunctory grace
I can trace your wondrous face
We reach an enchanting place

In quiet moments of the day
Sometimes, when we’re at play
We anchor in this intimate bay

But it’s really in the night
In the dimming softness of the light
That troubles oft take flight

It’s the greatest of life’s pleasure
It stretches wide our love’s full measure
It’s a place I’ll always treasure

What right have you
To presume to cry
While you are you
And I am I

In every Autumn
Dies a leaf
Was not our love
Just as brief

Nothing lasts but
Stone and fire
Don't believe the
Pulpit’s choir

You must know that
The void's so vast
And time's so free
There is no past

Stone is common
And life's so rare
Why should we ever
Deign to care

There's no order
Just random chance
There's no border
Round happenstance

And yet you cry
And declare your union
Just let me die
Without communion

Please don’t waste
A tear or sigh
While you are you
And I am I

I see you from afar
At a dance or at a fair
Even here in this bar
Could be anywhere

You’re in a different class
We’re vast worlds apart
I drink you in my glass
You’re ever in my heart

You’re the girl I’ll never get
Too pretty and too nice
It’s the longest shot, and yet
Maybe one day you’ll think twice

paper in the wind
wasted words unseen unread
found, a poet’s dream

am I slipping off the shelf
is it the end of self

time for me is near
born in water, die in sand
a blink in God’s eye

dewdrops on dead leaves
windblown seeds on rock debris
not everything grows

the sun arose late
admiring its reflection
in the lunar night

I dropped it in the wishing well
May it sink straight to hell
Inside my heart an anguished yell
No romantic knell of wedding bell
Only an engagement ring fell

tree winds rustle through
the bleakness of the winter
the sound of dying

On the feast that is romance
In my father’s day, it was spooning
Nowadays, it’s forking

The morning sun squinted bloodshot rays
through the eastern clouds

Let's hope today doesn’t produce
the same hangover tomorrow

Yesterday’s woes often linger
It’s funny that joy doesn’t last as long

It was a placid scene
So serene

I was transfixed between
The why and me
The sky and sea

Between blue and green
Aquamarine

With this ring I thee wed
Until I'm dead
Did you hear what I just said
I must be out of my head

It was a placid scene
So serene

I was transfixed between
The why and me
The sky and sea

Between blue and green
Aquamarine

rivers run downstream
sharp objects smooth over time
pain tumbles away

It’s not just remembering
It’s so much more
Those moments unspoken
When I should’ve said adore

Now an inability to share
Any sudden burst of laughter
Any glimpse of beauty
Sleepy embraces the morning after

Not just minutes but whole days void of you
Can no longer reach you by telephone
Realizing now you’re not at home when I’m away
Without my queen, an empty throne

I pray that in another life
You’ll again become my wife

Time falls with the indifference of rain
Pelting my consciousness with scattered memories
Dampening enthusiasm for tomorrow

Without permission, it links my past to the present
Making me an unwilling chronicler
Providing transient purpose and meaning to an uncaring universe

I carry analog collections of myself
From moment to moment
With imperfect memories
And slightly altered desires

Now here’s the mystery
How much of me
Must there be
To retain my identity

Gulls squawking complaints
against the ocean
washing o’er tasty sandcrabs
with its perfunctory motion

On barefeet, I trod the damp
and crunchy sand,
drawing closer to the water,
smelling the kelp infested land

Someday I’ll travel far
Sail to distant places
Wash off this grit and tar
Find what another shore replaces

In the meantime,
breathe deep the morning air
Feel the awakening of day
Subdue this wanderlust prayer

The horizon will be there tomorrow
No urgency to flee
The ocean e’er eases my sorrow
I’ll always yearn for the sea

Oh my dear, please tell me true
Perhaps I’m just feeling blue
But is my fear undue
Am I loved by you

I admit I have no clue
Maybe it’s the fifth brew
But I sense we’re through
Tell me, am I loved by you

It’s not just a point of view
There’s not been a recent *****
Forgive, it’s not the way to woo
But, am I loved by you

Not as if I caught the flu
We used to be like Elmer’s glue
Now you prefer eschew
For god’s sake, am I loved by you

It used to be “those two”
Most everyone knew
We were a crew
Don’t delay your answer, am I loved by you

Has a secret lover scored a coup
Is it time to say adieu
Is this an affair I’ll forever rue
Please, am I loved by you

Tell me true

I’ve learned it’s difficult to appear debonair
when your FLY is open

I scrape the bottom of my heart
for any remaining morsel of your love.
I’ve long forgotten the taste of your kiss.

Since the separation,
the image of you has fragmented
into scattered pixels.
I know now that only the frequent
contacts kept the vision of you intact.

The music of your laughter
has dissipated in the daily noise.
Your greeting voice no longer chimes.

It started with an angry word
that pride elevated into something more.
What a fool I was to react that way.
I’m still haunted by that dreadful day.

A year has passed with silent interaction.
I’ve heard you found someone new.
You do deserve much more of life.
My divorce forever robbed me of my wife.

OK, do your worst
Open the earth and spew lava burst

Wrench land between my feet
Split houses and concrete

Howl your wind across the land
Hurl animals and man

Melt snowcaps and ice packs
Raise water levels to the max

Now surge oceans and the seas
Let us drown with weakened knees

Wash the mountains with drying tears
Weeping into wadi spheres

Let loose toxins from below
Poison wells and river flow

Fly insects who gobble farms
That spread disease and raise alarms

All these things I anticipate
I know the power you create

But hear me, we will survive

As I looked at you today,
I realize that I do not see you as a whole.
It’s as if I’m studying a mosaic.

Although I love you totally,
I really study you in segments
which I color-in with memories and perceptions.

Do I require the multitudinous eye of an insect
to fully capture your image?
Must I always encapsulate you in past and present feelings?

Then it dawned that this is the way
In which I see all of reality.
In this universe of mysteries, I’m always filling in.

We swim in a murky sea of ignorance
Where nothing is crystal clear.
We must always daub vision with our imagination.

We always combine our senses to augment
the imperfect images we see,
otherwise, all are smeared and tapered at the edges.

We've learned to live with this partial blindness,
like crawling creatures of the inky deep.

the night wind rustles
fool, to go so deep in woods
oh please, be a dream

Where do you hie, Dragonfly
In this clear blue sky?
Whom do you espy
With your multitudinous eye?

Who’s your prey today
Amidst the woodland spray?
In your watery youth, it was larvae,
Now the whole forest is your breakfast tray.

But are there dragonflies among us,
That you chance meet on street or bus?
Who are never heard to cuss
Or even raise a fuss.

Beware the iridescent charm.
He means to do you harm.
When he extends his arm,
There's cause for alarm

There’s tell-tale signs for his breed,
Oft rumors of treacherous deed.
But he'll remain aloft to mislead,
Then swoop with blinding speed.

Proceed with care.
Beware his debonair,
For in the sunfilled glare,
You may have no prayer!

The morning mist moves stealthily through the forest glen
Bringing moisture to every den
The doe and her fawn huddle close to preserve their zen
Hidden far from the world of men

The hunter arises early with eager anticipation
An age-old tradition of human predation
A memory of youthful vacation
Past bonding of a father-son relation

What will happen this fine spring day
Will paths cross in the misty grey
Will tragedy and victory combine in some fateful way
In which direction will fortunes sway

In the silent setting, a shot rang out
The father was late with his warning shout
There was no antler above the gentle snout
Thank god, his son missed in his initial bout

This was not the hunter’s dream
Not the experience he wanted to share
It was so close to be an anguished scream
The hunter muttered a silent prayer

Do you ever wonder where daydreams go
They seem to vanish in the daylight glow
Perhaps to die in the conscious flow
Or, do they strive to somehow grow

Maybe they’re only sleeping on the wind
To reappear in a future nocturnal tale
Caught and twisted in some nightmarish gin
To frighten you beyond the pale.

But on a warm summer day
When all such thoughts are evanescent
With an airiness so light and gay
They’re often filled with lovely sentiment

This is something so serene
You marvel at its magic
You are moved to ecstasy
It’s seldom very tragic

There’s something about a daydream
That’s different from a dream
You can shape it to your scheme
You can alter its varied stream

But often in the dark
You are captive to the plight
Sometimes murky sometimes stark
A dream is always far from light

So you know where daydreams go
They escape into the dusky glow
They morph in subconscious flow
Where they survive and grow

In placid setting of field and sky
A windless moment be stills my time
I think of you pasted to the scene
With but the depth of a silhouette

Is our love just as shallow
A coating on pastoral image
Penurious daubing
Of an artist’s afterthoughts

I want to shatter through
Shout in the stillness
Puncture the protective colors
Feel the other side of me

Is this just momentary doubt
Is my mind suddenly deadlocked
Or is this a dreadful insight
Into a frightful reality

A breeze unexpectedly occurs
Clouds are moving
Grass is waving
A painting becomes a movie

I immediately inhale the vision of you
With a renewed vitality
Floods of emotions fill me
We’re again in joyous sync with the world

I simply asked if you want an extra platter
Not are you getting fatter

running at the pace of fear
got to get out of here
make no sound lest they hear

You have me walking on love’s keen edge
Teetering on a perilous ledge

I fear I’m near insane
Head’s bursting with fevered brain

I’ve been hurt before
Dare I relaunch from safety’s shore

Am I strong enough to weather storm
Shall I cower within a certain norm

Am I still a babe seeking breast
Is there a hero’s heart in my chest

What’s wrong with me to have such fear
Is it want or need in my deepest sphere
If there’s one thing clear
It’s that I ache to have you here, my dear

Cotton candy amidst the blue
Warm sun and breezes too
A flowered field in meadow vast
Children’s laughter from afar
Catching butterflies in a jar
A comedy in midsummer’s cast

You stand beside me in my dream
Pale pink lips, skin like cream
Your yellow hair in captured sunlight
I wish I could kiss you now
Brush the loose strand from your brow
And retrieve you from the eternal night

I know this is make believe
For even now I grieve
Your passing was sudden swift
I have these moments of recall
Life was shattered last fall
My balance made a tragic shift

If ever there were afterlife
I’d ask you again to be my wife
But my gut tells me we were happenstance
All subject to toil and strife
With precious moments of happy life
Should be grateful for the chance