It helped me get through lonely nights
and gave me courage for a bit
It wasn't until I tried to quit
That's when I learned it bites

The way it fights
Can't turn your back
Always staring
Ready to attack

It's my fault
I should have more sense
I shouldn't have done what I did
Under the influence

I wasn't myself
Now I'm facing the pain
But I will learn to live again
I quit today

I am not afraid of my mortality
I have grown accustomed to shaming
All this dirt thrown at my face
I'm still praying for the best

My relationship with God is my greatest asset
I don't mind if you share my passion
Turn back today, obey, nobody can say
they have mapped their own future or fate

I'm afraid of the power God has given me
To have a mind that can see beyond what's in front of me
I really don't want to be seen until I'm ready
In the past I've hurt some people accidentally

My people used me as a stepping stone I confess
Yet time rolls on and things progress
I don't mind being the last to clean up the mess
I like being last, at the bottom, unnoticed

I used to carry a bundle of love in my hands
Now I have hatred seeping through my fingers
My filter is clogged and I can hardly contain
The rage within, I feel like puking it all up

But I'll get over it
When the time comes I will get back up
And prove that love is stronger than hate
Just as darkness never overcame the light

I will let go of what's not for me
I'll control what goes inside me
Then I will like the words that exit me
And with love inside I will be free

Hatred and love are similar emotions
Especially when the one you loved
Is the one you now fear
You tried to feed me to your dogs
And feast on my tears
But I fought your dogs and won

You blotted my sun
You could have told me the truth
That we weren't meant to share fate
You left me to figure it out
and pick up the pieces of my broken heart
on my own

My heart isn't stone
But my uptick is steady
While you gradually decrease
Into a faded memory
My compassion for you will cease
And I'll do nothing as you gasp, like you did to me

Morning to noon, evening to night
Each day is a new one in the concrete light
A light that notes and observes and writes down
All that we do; each smile and each frown

For each breath we exhale, each word we release
There's a legacy that follows, that will not cease
For all that we mock, and all that we preach
We will receive tenfold, from the force we beseech

Our words, when we talk,
stand on their own feet, and walk
Into the light, no matter how small
Where all are as one, or not at all.

And so it begins, the waterfall of tears
It's been years and it's no longer fears
that are making me stay, I feel enraged
Today's the day I hit the toad

I want you dead and out of my head
You hear me? Get out - OUT!
You ***** rotten sewer rat
I took a ****, it's you I shat

Vengeance, whether cold or hot
I will serve, and blot you out
I used to care, while you just mocked
Trying to help, was all for naught

The day I was born was the day of an accident
Parents never wanted me so they tried to destroy me
Yet at the same time ensured I was never free
Ganged up on me
Stood behind a wall I was too short to see
Then kicked me out at eighteen
To be torn apart by wolves
To ensure I fell, what was the point
Never had a place to call home
So full of nerves I couldn't break the ice with the girl I loved
And she loved me, what a pity
We could have had a beautiful life
All this time I lived in misery
They call me insane and make sure I'm drugged
Without the drugs I'd ******* **** all these bullies
For making this **** life even *******
How am I to live when devils surround?
Peace and love are nowhere to be found in this war
Nothing to live for, nowhere to be
No one to talk to, no one to see
Yet I tried to help others any way I could
I didn't want them to feel as low as me
So why am I targeted
Why must I fight Satan himself
And his armies of devils by the skin of my teeth?
Now comes the dark night of the soul
This is the closest to hell I've ever been
And I feel this way every day
I sigh and cry
Why do I try?
I don't want your money or fame
I don't want to play your stupid game
I'm alone and I no longer want to be
Please God put me out of my misery