You think of the future
And act like you're sure
You feel secure
Like you're the cure
It goes without mention
I'll stop your ascension
Break your intentions
Destroy your inventions
Take my rod and strike
So you know what it's like
To live without sight
In the absence of light

I want to be a different person in heaven
Then I can forget these days of old
You don't have to come to my funeral
Let the angels come for my soul
For I have no love for this world
That was to be my home

You left me alone
I can't do anything alone
I was taught that I can't do anything alone
But it's better than being with you
Who is nothing but a vision in my mind
That I'm too drained to fight anymore

You make me sick and *****
I walk around with you in my head all day
You're a danger and I like to think you are deceased
Your rotten memories are unworthy of poetry
And so I have nothing to write cause there is no love
Only above, where an army is ready to overthrow this world

You think you owe us nothing but you are wrong
You owe us decency which you exchanged for pride
And soon you will hide, or else you will die
For this is not our final form
We will be new people in heaven
And we will war with you again cause it's not over yet

Take my heart
Wring the veins
till not an ounce
of blood remains
Take my eyes
Smear them in mud
Push me over the edge
and call me bud
Announce my failures
with a blare
that shakes the hills
And I'll just stare
and remain still
Shave my eyelids
and brow and hair
while I sleep
I just don't care
Humiliate me
You want to see
what kind of man
I am internally?
My soul is gone
It sings no song
it prays and longs
for armageddon
My brain is fried
My heart is dark
Is there anyone out there
who can ignite my spark?
Am I stupid?
Am I odd?
In shame I nod
A yes-man clod
I don't say no
but nothing more
Thrown all emotions
out the door
There once was life
behind these eyes
There once was hope
but now not so
Put me in the ground
I can't stand the sound
of my heart beating anymore
The rhythmic pound

Don't want to stick out
Dumb is the word
I will be secure
as part of the herd

But the hunter is hungry
He makes no sound
His aim is steady
He sends out his hound
To gather his prey
Keeps his nose to the ground
But why butcher me
when others abound?

I don't want to go
where conflicts unfold
Wanna live in my head
Avoid doing what I'm told
alone in the dark
in the fiery cold
I've forsaken my flesh
which once shone like gold
Which once was so bold
is now shrivelled and old

There is a way forward
A spirit renewal
And in time's hands
my flesh will shine like a jewel
For I have suffered
but I learned and now see
my body will recover
using the right remedy
I will again dance
to the tune of a melody
when my soul recovers
and I'm holy and free
Everything will be restored
And I'll be called happy
And my mind will come back to me
In this there is beauty

I have forsaken the life that could have been
in order to live virtually in a tv screen
It's got everything
Art is fascinating
But now I need to get out
And I don't know how to go about doing that
In the game world I'm always the hero
Here I'm nothing, zero
No shiny things to collect
No happy song at the end credits

What was I on?
Now all my time is gone
No social skills
Can't pay the bills
Patience is thin
Just know how to win
I wish I could put this on someone
It's all on me, just trying to have fun
I want to stop, but when?
And if I stop, what then?

My bones shake at the slightest noise
This flesh feel so rent, that houses my soul
And due to the numbness and pain inside,
my mind's stuck on the ground, lost my bird's eye

Lately I've been living on feeling
Trying to feel good, but I'm not healing
Only revenge, I want to see
the consequences of what they did to me

And I know it's none of my business
I need to focus on myself, but the stress!
I failed each test, though I tried my best
I lay all this at God's feet, and rest

Wake up
Drink coffee
Smoke half a pack
Try to process the dreams

I don't get hungry
till half way through the day
Then I gorge
And then get sick

Such is my retirement
A life without a job
Without anyone
I struggle to find purpose

Everyone has their place
I walk a path I paved myself
Back and forth I go
Circling the same places

Who can change the course of their life
at any given instant?
Who can forgive and let go?
Forget and be perfect?

I have schizophrenia
I falsely feel people are targeting me
One foot in the grave
But one hand on my heart

For I understand those who suffer
Thus I gravitate to such people
I would never hurt you
Your pain is my pain

In all my life
I haven't found life or liberty here
Only veiled threats and manipulation
Yet I hang on by the hope of a better afterlife